A few jokes with a moral

1. "I am your classmate in elementary school, do you remember me?" "Which one, I don't remember much" "The one who won the first prize in the municipal composition contest in the third grade" "I don't have much impression" When I was in fifth grade, I won the provincial first prize in the Mathematical Olympiad competition. "I still have no impression." "When I was in sixth grade, I lifted up my teacher's skirt." ""oh! It turns out to be you! "

2. There was a parrot hanging at the door of the pet store. A fat woman passed by and looked at it. The parrot said: "You look really ugly. The woman ignored her and left. The next day she passed by on purpose, and the parrot said again: "You look really ugly." "The woman was very angry and went to the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper promised that it would never happen again. The woman passed by again on the third day. The parrot looked at the woman and said, "You know what I am going to say!" "

3. The boss recently wanted to recruit a bodyguard. The secretary said: "I have a friend who has just retired from the army. He is a nice guy, but he is a little reserved." The boss said disdainfully: "After so many years in the army, he still looks like this. Ah, ask him to come with me tonight! "The next day, as soon as the secretary went to work, she heard her boss getting angry in the office: "Who the hell said he was tight? ! Who the hell said he had a tight ass? ! !

4. "Uncle, you have been married for 60 years and you still call your wife "honey". What's the secret to your love for so many years?" "No way, I forgot my wife's name 20 years ago. I don’t dare to ask her, so I can only call it this way.”

5. I saw a piece of clothing on Taobao today, and there were two reviews, one of which was positive and the other was positive. The content of the neutral review is: It is different from the picture, there is color difference, and it does not look good when worn. The content of the positive comments is: I bought it for my classmate. He is very ugly in his clothes. I am very satisfied with it.

6. I accidentally heard a conversation between a man and a woman. Man: Wife, I just saw a woman. She is good-looking and has long legs. She looks like a stewardess at first glance. Woman: Really? I'll give you another chance and you can say it again. Man: Ah, yes, wife, I just saw an old lady. She was dressed in a coquettish way and her legs were long. At first glance, she came out to do some work. Girl: Well, please be more careful next time you speak...

7. Once in junior high school, I wanted to go to the elementary school campus to play, but the guard refused to let me in. My best friend and I were going to get in through the railing, because we were afraid of getting our heads stuck. , I tried it first at that time, it was very good and passed smoothly. My best friend’s head is similar to mine, so we all thought it would be fine, but it turned out! As a result, she got stuck, not on her head, but on her chest, hahaha! At that time, I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t stand up straight! Years later, I now realize that I laughed too early.

8. Yesterday, there was a roll call at the meeting, but a colleague didn’t come. The supervisor asked what was going on. Someone said that his father-in-law was sick and was working as a caregiver. The supervisor asked again, “Aren’t you not married yet?” A colleague replied that because he is not married, he is closer than his biological father!

9. Organizing a few people to collect protection fees is a gangland. Zhu Yuanzhang organized millions of people to seize the throne and became a great emperor. Wu Zetian slept with her father-in-law and her son. Although it was a chaotic relationship, the chaos was big enough, so she became the queen.

This joke tells us: It’s not about whether you did bad things, but how bad you did them!

10. One day, the female secretary said solemnly: Mr. Wang, I am pregnant. Wang continued to look down at the document, and then smiled faintly: I have been sterilized a long time ago. The female secretary was stunned for a while and smiled charmingly: I was joking with you! Wang raised his head and glanced at her, took a sip of tea and said: Me too.

This joke tells us: People who are messing around in the arena, don’t panic when something happens, let the bullets fly for a while first.

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