Find a joke a little longer.

1. Lose weight A man came to a local gym to lose weight so that he could lose weight. There are all kinds of fitness programs in the gym, which looks quite complicated, so this guy chose the cheapest one, that is, losing one catty an hour. He was taken to a house where a naked girl stood. The sign said, "If you can catch me, you can fuck me!" " "This guy immediately accepted the challenge and started chasing the girl, but every time he was about to catch the girl, he ran away from her. An hour passed, and he still didn't catch the girl. The fitness instructor took him to weigh himself, just a pound less. " "That's good," the guy thought. I can lose weight and be happy. "

This time, he chose a slightly more expensive weight loss plan, and he could lose two pounds an hour. He was taken to a room where two naked girls stood, both holding signs that said, "If you can catch me, you can fuck me!" " "This guy is so excited. He chased the two girls desperately, but the last one didn't catch up. An hour later, the coach weighed him again, just losing two pounds.

At this time, this guy was angered. He told the manager that he would choose the most expensive weight loss plan. The manager assured him that he would lose ten pounds in an hour, but added that the plan was very dangerous. This guy thinks, isn't it just a few more girls? The more opportunities, the more opportunities, and at least one can be caught. He urged the manager to send him to the most expensive room quickly, although the manager kept telling him of the danger. So the man was taken to a house a little farther away. They let him in and locked the door outside. The room was dimly lit and a chimpanzee was waiting for him. He saw a sign in his hand that said, "If I catch you, I'll fuck you."

The director mispronounced the words. When reporting to the deputy mayor in the conference room, Director Meng read "conscientious" as "Kekeye". The vice mayor frowned, coughed twice and said, "No, let's go and see the scene."

One night, Director Meng came home to hear from his wife that a director recently reported to the mayor and pronounced "conscientious" as "Kekeye", and the mayor was embarrassed on the spot.

When I went to work the next day, Director Meng was livid and shouted at the director of the office: "The leader made a mistake and everyone didn't correct it. This reflects a problem with work style. Let's have a meeting to discuss it right away. "

10 minutes later, people from all directions arrived in the conference room one after another. Director Feng briefly explained the agenda of this meeting, and the atmosphere was somewhat dignified.

Secretary Yin said: "The main responsibility for this incident lies with me. When I wrote the report materials, my handwriting was too sloppy, and the word "serious" was separated, like the word "gram". Director Meng crossed out the word "gram" when he read it. I dare not say anything. I will write Chinese characters carefully in the future and never make similar mistakes again. "

"I don't think this is the problem," said Director Sun, lighting a cigarette. "I don't think anyone can read all the Chinese characters correctly again. The problem is that Chinese characters themselves have serious defects. " Jing ",why can't it be pronounced" gram "? Why can't you write one less gram? "

"profound." Deputy Director Li said: "Director Meng pronounced' Jing' as' Ke', which reflected his advanced consciousness. After streamlining the organization, it is inevitable to streamline Chinese characters. "

Deputy Director Cao cleared his throat and said, "We are about to enter a new century, which requires us to have new thinking. Through the discussion of changing "Jing" into "Ke", we should establish the spirit of being the first, dare to break the old rules, don't follow the trend and stand still. "

Director Meng smiled at this and finally made a concluding speech: "Today's meeting is very timely and necessary. Everyone has unified their ideological understanding, which is of great significance to creating a new situation in our work! "

3. Inscription in the humble room

Xue xueming

If the score is not high, it is good to pass. Knowledge is not deep, and cheating is spiritual. I am a classroom, but I am very leisurely. Novels spread quickly and magazines are turned frequently. Think about going to the movies. You can write love letters and think about women. There is no noise of books and no homework to review. It's not a dance floor, but it's comparable to an amusement hall. Xin Yun: Mix a diploma.

Bai xianming

If the heart is not learning, envy will win; If you don't get what you want, you will get what you want. It was a shortcut, but I won. As an embroidered pillow, it is a thorn in the side. Talking and laughing, blowing evil wind, digging traps. You can step on others' backs and win their trust. No effort to write, no work to create. Like Li Linpu. Looks like Yang. Righteousness: the poisonous insect in the world.

Feng Mimi

Virtue is not high, and it can be crooked; Not much, just shoot it. I am a fart, but I am the wind. Give sweet words to the top, bow down and show your charm. Laughing and scratching, loyal to each other. You can be a rocket with a long head. You don't work hard, you don't work hard. Virtue is cheap and profit is heavy, and hands are often light. Wisdom: live up to our ancestors.