Shanghai Pukou Joke Video Watch Online

They are all classic 1. Why do bats often hang upside down? Because of its gastroptosis. It takes 6 hours for a train to go from A to B, and now it has been running for 3 hours. Where should the train be now? On the tracks. After breakfast, Adi went to the toilet with a big bag. Why is there only half a steamed bread left after he came out? He forgot to bring toilet paper. 4. Why does everyone say that kittens eat human flesh and don't spit bones? Because he ate a dough kneading machine. 5. Why? My brother never stops when he meets an intersection by military vehicle. He used to drive a train. 6. Under what circumstances does one plus one definitely not equal to two? A kilo of flour and a large glass of water will only equal a piece of dough. 7. Why do vampires never drink juice or vegetable juice? Afraid of the cross in the juice. 8. Male crabs drink because they are afraid of being scolded by their wives. He went home to wear cologne and rinse his mouth, but before he entered the house, his wife waiting at home found him drunk again. Why? Because he walked straight back. 9. Abby will take an English exam tomorrow. He heard that the Bodhisattva in Foguang Mountain was responsive. He hurried up the mountain to burn incense and worship Buddha, asking the Bodhisattva to bless him to be admitted tomorrow. As a result, he still failed the English exam the next day. Why? Because the Bodhisattva can't read English, she can't get through! 10. A man met 10 lions on his way home. What will he become? Ten piles of lion shit. 1 1. Your girlfriend keeps pestering you for the stars in the sky. What should you do? Give her a good punch and ask her if she wants the moon. Toothworm 13. Cosmetics make a woman's face beautiful, but whose face is ugly? Jing Wong is a polite man, but when someone knocks at the door, he won't invite others in. He is in the toilet 15. What is the most painful thing for birds? Cannot ascend to heaven after death 16. Wang Jing took 100 yuan to go to the store to buy things. Since 75 yuan, the boss only looked for 5 yuan. Why? He only gave it to his boss 80 yuan 17. What kind of people want as many children as possible? Manufacturers of children's products 18. What is the last thing to do before death? Take your last breath 19. How big a ship does it take to transport 5 tons of logs from upstream to downstream? No boat floats 20. A plane full of passengers descended from the sky, but no one was injured. Why? They're all dead. 2 1. Jing Wong graduated from junior high school and taught himself high school and college courses. What's his education level? Arrogance 22. What's the difference between the son of a dragon and the son of a dog? One is a prince and the other is a dog. 23. What is the difference between a flea and a lion? Have you ever seen fleas on a lion? On 2000 1 month 1 day, everyone was doing a very important thing. Do you remember what it is? Breathe 25 times. Who knows best how many stars are in the sky? God knows 26. Under what circumstances can two tigers fit in one mountain? The tiger is in love. 27. What does tit for tat mean? 28. Jing Wong and Wang Jing died in a secret room with only a pool of water and broken glass on the ground. What was the cause of their death? They are goldfish. 29. What food is produced in the east, west, north and south? Melon 30. Jing Wong is ugly and has no money, but two handsome guys are fighting to marry her. Why? Whoever loses will marry her 3 1. Why do only female mosquitoes feed on blood? Male mosquitoes have no inconvenient days. 32. What can a coward eat to become brave? When is the second child the best? The boss is not here. 34. Why did Guan Gong die so tragically? 35. Which coin with the same score1992 or 1993 is heavier? In the second race of the tortoise and the hare, the hare tried his best, but he still lost. Why? The destination is at sea. 37. What is the last thing you can't see in broad daylight? Movie 38. What is unstable? Three to five, five again? Fans 39. A fierce cat ran away when it saw a mouse. Why? 40. Mr. and Mrs. Jing Wong have been married for more than ten years, but they have no children. Why? Multiple births are 4 1. Three people are holding an umbrella. There is only one umbrella, but no one gets wet. Why? It didn't rain. Jing Wong was twelve when he was in the first grade. Why was he only twelve years old in the third grade? Just every other day. 43. Dogs compete with frogs. Why did the dog win? No breaststroke 44. Jing Wong participated in the 100-person hula hoop competition until the last minute, but was disqualified from the championship. Why? Too fat, it's stuck. 45. What are the parts of a pen? Bamboo and wool. Why do modern people break their promises more and more? The appearance of telephone 47. All my friends from work around Jing Wong have gone to sea. Why didn't he get off? Fear of drowning. The cruel king told honest Jing Wong to buy a hundred pigs, but Jing Wong only brought back ninety-nine pigs. Why? Don't answer! If you strongly demand to know the answer to this question, please leave a message! 49. A horror movie is being shown in the cinema. The audience screamed, but Xiaoying in the cinema laughed. Why? She is watching a comedy in another cinema. 50. An eagle is flying in the air. Suddenly it rained and the eagle fell. Why? It used its wings to keep out the rain, so it fell 5 1. What method can make people not blink for the longest time? Let that man die unsatisfied. 52. Apart from saving time and effort compared with stairs, what is the biggest advantage of elevators? In case wrestling doesn't go well. 93. What dances after death? Falling leaves. What can carry a hundred bales of hay but not a grain of sand? River water. 95. What can make a sound without mouth, run around the world without feet, hurt people without hands, and pass before it appears? The wind. 96. What is white in the mouth and yellow in the soil? rice. 97. What has countless leaves but no roots? Books. 98. What runs day and night and never leaves its bed? River water. 99. What can only be used if it is broken? Eggs. 100. What broke and everyone applauded? World record. 10 1. What can be destroyed without touching it? Promise. 102. Why does the wedding ring symbolize eternity? It has no head and no tail. 103. What is the least sociable thing in the world? Milestones. They never stand together. 104. What question do you have to answer "Yes"? "How do you spell y-e-s?" 105. Pandas are produced in China and koalas are produced in Australia. Where are the wolves? The motorcycle company in China is 106. Why do some people have three hands? Pickpocket 107. The sharper the knife, the less it will hurt others. Roller skates 108. Why is there a typhoon in summer? Because it will hibernate in winter 109. Why did dinosaurs become extinct? Because it is called "the endangered dragon" 1 10. Why is the giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so high, it needs to be connected with such a long neck. 1 1 1. Which part of the earth's surface will never shine on the sun? Therefore, because the earth cannot shine, it must not shine on the sun. 1 12. Why don't police bring umbrellas in rainy days? I'm not afraid of bullets. Am I still afraid of getting wet? 1 13. Two owls are chatting. One of them claims that it can go out during the day without wearing sunglasses. Why? 13 1. Why is Rodin's sculpture The Thinker naked? Because he is thinking about which one to wear! 132. Babies always cry at birth. Why? Because the nurse who delivered the baby was beautiful, and I was too young! 133. Lao Zhao is a man who follows the rules. Why do you call him "old man" at the same time? If you don't return, others won't be able to upgrade. What kind of woman should a playboy match? Flowers in Flowers female 135. Dad repeatedly warned A Niu, who is still in high school, never to set foot in a beef farm, because there are things he shouldn't see, but A Niu secretly read them. What will he see that he shouldn't? Don't get it wrong! ) His father 136+02 What is the most meaningful thing that a joint rat did? Bullying a cat in distress 137. Why do richer people get bigger coffins when they die? It's easy to "turn over" 138. Adults, children are small, foreigners have more hair, and China people have less hair. What is soft and hard? Hand 139. Hua asked for a long time to sign, but he refused to sign. Why? Because Hua asked him to sign the spouse column of his ID card! 140. If there is only the last man left on the earth, he is writing a suicide note at his desk and suddenly there is a knock at the door. It is not an alien, an animal or a sandstorm. Guess who is knocking at the door? It's a girl. 14 1. I touch the train with my body many times every day, but it doesn't hurt at all. What happened? He is in the carriage of the 142 train. On the bus, an old gentleman stood next to Xiaoming, and there were no empty seats around him. Xiao Ming is always polite, but this time he didn't give up his seat at all. Why? Xiao Ming is the driver 143. A dog fell from a plane at an altitude of ten thousand meters, but it didn't die. What happened here? The dog fell on the plane floor 144. Both Pangpang and Liangliang are third-grade students. They usually walk as fast, but Pangpang always arrives at school 15 minutes later than Liangliang, and Pangpang didn't stay to play. What happened? They are not in the same school 145. Why is it better to have no money than money? Happy ah ~ (the so-called poor happy also! ) 146. What advantages do short people have over tall people? The sky is falling, not afraid of pressure ~ (hee hee ~ there are tall people standing on it) 147. Who runs fastest in the Three Kingdoms? Cao Cao ~ (as the saying goes: Speak of the devil) 148. Why can't tigers compete with cats? Catch mice ~ (Who has ever seen a tiger catch mice? ) 149. The thermometer has dropped. What does this mean? The nail on the wall is not nailed firmly ~ (it won't hang, of course it fell-)150. How can I keep a stone from sinking into the sea? Put it on the boat ~ (hehe ~ there are many answers to this question. 15 1. What will those risk-averse people who dare to "throw themselves into the river" but dare not "commit suicide" do? Bungee jumper ~ (If he dares to "commit suicide", why is there a rope tied to his leg? ) 152. Why are the tickets for two exhibitions that are not much different more expensive? Things are scarce. 153. Someone bought a bottle of soda and opened the lid and found that there was no bubble at all. He couldn't help asking the salesman loudly, "Why not soda?" The clerk said yes, so where is it? As soon as I drank it, the gas in my stomach came up. 154. Someone went to the bathhouse to take a bath. The waiter looked down on him for the first time, threw him an old towel and left. He left a gold coin after taking a shower, so when he went there for the second time, the waiter paid great attention to him, but after washing, he only took out a copper coin. Why? This time I gave the money for the last bath, but last time I gave it to 155. What kind of white rice can eat three flavors? Raw rice, raw, cooked and half cooked 156. Where is the birthplace of the Yellow River? In the sky, isn't it how the water of the Yellow River moves out of the sky? 157. A pickpocket offered 50 pounds to ask the priest to bless him. What does the priest say to get the money without violating his conscience? The priest said, "If God punishes a thief, I hope God will realize his will through you." 158. Why do people grab things with five fingers when they are hungry? Because one hand has only five fingers, 159. The husband is the head of the family, why must he listen to his wife? Because the wife is the neck 160. Who needs to wait on other people's wives except their own? Because he has a daughter, 16 1. Mary broke a plate. What did her mother say in the past that she found the plate broken again? Mom asked, how did you break it 162? How should you do your homework to ensure that there is only one mistake? Don't do your homework. This is your only mistake. 163. Why can't the father of Jesus be seen in the picture of the Virgin Mary holding the young Jesus? He was painting this picture, 164. A man was away on business and couldn't go home immediately, so he wrote to tell his wife why she wanted him to go home immediately after reading the letter. His wife had to let him read the letter by himself because of the scrawl. Jack put his wallet under his pillow this morning. Although he has an honest servant, why is he still worried? Because the servant will give the wallet to his wife 166. The husband said that he was not afraid to face death for his wife, but why did the husband leave his wife as soon as the big black bear appeared? Because it is not a dead bear (dead = dead bear) 167. What are the advantages of buying an expensive ring for your wife? Gloves can save money, hehe, it seems that the loss outweighs the gain ~ 168. What kind of egg is born alive? Idiot 169. Xiao Li vomited one mouthful phlegm everywhere and was fined fifty cents. He took out a dollar, and the police had no money to change it. What should I do? One more word: 170. /kloc-There were six wars in Spain in the 0/5th century. What were those six wars? 1, 2,3,4,5,6 times 17 1. How many sides does the box have? Two sides: inside and outside 172. The fortune teller gave Xiao Li an envelope and told him that he couldn't open it without something happy. On the day of Xiao Li's blind date, he opened the envelope and was surprised: "What a coincidence!" What's written in the envelope? "You have fun today!" 173. What bird likes to dress up? Thrushcross 174. Which sea is the widest in the world? Cihai 175. If a fire broke out in a museum and only one work of art could be saved, which one would you choose? The nearest door is 176. Who is the most polite to guests? Camel 177. Eat one of three apples. How many are there? Three ships (two outside and one inside)1780,000 dwt have left Hong Kong. Where to go? Shanghai 179. There is a banner slogan at the door of an enterprise: "It depends on everyone's love". What kind of enterprise is this? Hat factory 180. Where can I teach the secret of obesity? Chef training course 18 1. When playing cards, your wife told you to go home, and you said, "The car broke down and you can't come back!" " My wife bought it, why? Because the phone said, 182. Under what circumstances, who is really worth it? The fruit shop owner offended all the customers 183. After handing in the pledge to quit smoking, he still smokes every day, but his wife can't help it. Why? The guarantee says: "Quit smoking tomorrow" 184. The baby is not ill, but the mother is clamoring to take him to the hospital. Why? The baby is coming. 185. Which tooth grows the latest? Denture 186. A triangle has three angles and a hexagon has six angles. How many angles does a circle have? A circle has ten angles 187. What is a "nominal" army? Air Force 188. What is the mute's first impression? Shen 189. Apart from nails and hair, Chang has never been cut. Can you believe it? Why? Impossible, because the umbilical cord was cut when he was born. What ladder can only go down but not up? Slide 19 1. How can I get double rest? Dreaming that I was sleeping 192 Why do Buddhists concentrate in the north? Nanwu 193 Amitabha, who is afraid of the pleasantries of "take care"? Studio owner 194. What do you really want to know and regret it when you see it? Answer 195. What music do soldiers like best? The horn is 196. What happens when people are beheaded? Short 1, there is a place to teach bad guys, but no police dare to take action against them. What is this place? Detention center 2. Please put nine horses in ten stables evenly, and make the number of horses in each stable the same. How to divide it? Put nine horses in a circle, and then put nine circles outside the circle. Xiao Wang is a good soldier. One day when he was on duty, he clearly saw an enemy touching him quietly. Why did he turn a blind eye? His goal is 4. When will the clock in Times Square ring 13? It's time to repair. 6. There is a truck full of goods. One person pushes in front and one person pulls behind. Is it possible for the truck to move forward? Maybe, when the truck goes downhill, 13: What is the product with the same production date and effective date? Newspaper 15: Xiao Wang whistled leisurely while brushing his teeth. How did he do it? Brush false teeth 16: An old lady got on the bus. Why didn't anyone give up her seat? 2 1 Free ride: A major earthquake occurred in a certain place with heavy casualties, and the disaster situation was constantly reported on the radio. In the process of looking for you, an old man has been listening to the radio report. Someone asked him: Did you hear about your grandson on the radio? He replied: No. Then he added: But I know my grandson must be safe. Excuse me, how did he know? His grandson is a radio announcer. 23: Xiaoming sets the alarm clock to six in the morning. He woke up after five o'clock, but he didn't know where the alarm clock was stuck. Can you help? Wait until six o'clock, and you will find it when the alarm rings. 24: What door can never be closed? Football Gate 25: Why do geese fly to the south in autumn? If you go, it's too slow. 26: What can you type effortlessly? Dozing off 27: There is a ladder hanging by the boat, 2 meters away from the sea surface, and the sea water rises by half a meter every hour. How many hours can seawater submerge the ladder? A rising tide lifts all boats. Water won't drown the ladder. Two people from south to north, one carrying a burden and the other carrying a backpack, crossed the wooden bridge smoothly, without quarreling, making noise and making way. Why? South to north is the same direction, of course, you can cross the wooden bridge smoothly. 29: Have aliens been to the moon? Earth astronaut landing on the moon 3 1: Xiaoming is always careless. He wrote ten letters at the same time. After packing the envelope, he checked it and found that a letter was wrongly packed. Dad said he was careless again. Why? If you are wrong, you should make two mistakes at the same time, not one. Xiao Ming was careless when checking. I can't do light work. I put one foot on the egg, but the egg won't break. Why? Stand on the ground with the other foot. Xiao Wang went to a meeting at noon. Why doesn't he see anyone? Not a shadow. 39: When eating an apple, eating a bug makes you feel sick, so how many bugs are the most disgusting? Half bug 45: Who is sick and never sees a doctor? Blind man 46: You can destroy it by calling its name. What is this? Silence 47: What comes often, but never really comes? Tomorrow at 49: the car turns right, which tire doesn't turn? Spare tire 50: There is a natural black marble. What will happen if it is thrown into Qiantang River on September 7th? Sink into the bottom of the river 5 1: Under what circumstances do people pull out their hair? Cremation 52: foxes are best at confusing men, so which best men and women are fascinated together? Alcohol 54: There is one thing that you can only hold with your left hand, but not with your right hand. What is this? Right hand 55: There is a sheep that eats half the grass on the grassland in one year. How many years does it take to eat all the grass? It will never eat up the grass, because the grass will always grow. 56: How to have a bottom drink when the glass is full? Suck 57 through a straw: Jack should have sailed to the Red Sea on a yacht, but he went to the Black Sea. Why? He suffers from color blindness. 60: What is the thing that only one person can do? Dreaming 6 1: What animal stays up late every day? Panda, can't you see its eyes are black? 66: When can children meet side by side? Good 68: What kind of gun will shoot people away without hurting them? Water gun, starting gun 70: What has five heads, but people don't think it's strange? Hands and feet 7 1: What gives birth to a tail at night? Meteor 72: What English letters do most people like to listen to? The plane flew in the sky and suddenly ran out of gas. What fell first? Oil gauge pointer 74: The angrier, the bigger the thing. Temper 78: A hungry cat walks past a fat mouse. Why did the hungry old cat leave without looking at the mouse? A blind cat meets a dead mouse 80: There are two people, one facing south and the other facing north. They are not allowed to look back, walk or look in the mirror. Can they see each other's faces? Of course, they are standing face to face. 82: If someone asks for directions, which sentence are you most afraid of hearing? Is this the earth? 83: Is black-bone chicken stronger or white chicken stronger? Why? Black-bone chicken, black-bone chicken can lay white eggs, white chicken can't lay black eggs. 84: I went home in the middle of the night and found that I forgot my key and there was no one else at home. What is your greatest wish at this time? Forgot to lock the door 85: What are the benefits of black hair? Not afraid of tanning 86: If tomorrow is the end of the world, why should someone commit suicide today? Heaven takes a seat 88: Why is a bottle of medicine marked highly toxic harmless to people? As long as you don't drink, 9 1: What's the difference between being bitten by a crocodile and being bitten by a shark? No one knows when the clock will stop running. This clock doesn't work. 93: Innate refers to the inheritance of parents, so what is acquired? The day after tomorrow 97: Why does the Statue of Liberty always stand in new york Harbor? She can't sit down 106: What's not afraid of rain when it rains? Raincoat or umbrella 1 12: There is a truck driving fast on the dark road without any lighting. It's still raining, no lightning, no moonlight, no street lamps. Just then, a blind man in black crossed the road! At this critical juncture, the driver braked suddenly, avoiding a vicious accident. Why is this happening? The dark road is the color of the road. It was daytime 1 18: A man committed suicide by jumping from a 50-meter-high building and fell heavily to the ground. Why isn't he dead? He was scared to death in midair. 1 19: Once upon a time, there was a master with strong martial arts. On rainy days, he went out without any rainproof items, and he was soaked through, but his hair was not wet at all. What happened? He is a monk without hair.