Here are some YELLOW jokes

1. There was a man in the hotel lobby. He wanted to ask the waiter a question. When he turned around and walked towards the counter, he accidentally bumped into a woman next to him, and touched his elbow. Her breasts. The man turned around and said, Madam, if your heart was as soft as your breasts, you would forgive me." The lady replied, "If your job was as soft as your elbows, If it’s just as hard, I’ll be in room 1221”

2. After a businessman boarded the plane, he found that he was lucky enough to sit next to a beautiful woman. After exchanging brief greetings, he noticed that she was looking at A handbook of sex statistics, so he asked her about that book, and she replied: "It's an interesting book on sex statistics. It points out that American Indians have the longest average penis, and that Polish people have the longest average penis." The thickest on average, oh, by the way, my name is Jill, what about you?" His cool reply: "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you" (the first name is an Indian name, the second name is a Polish surname)

3. One night, when a couple was lying down to go to bed, the husband gently patted his wife on the shoulder and began to rub her arms.

The wife turned around and said :

I'm sorry, honey, but I have an appointment with the gynecologist tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."

After being rejected, the husband turned away and tried to sleep.< /p>

A few minutes later, he turned around and patted his wife again,

This time he whispered in her ear:

You also have to see a dentist tomorrow. ”

4. A man walked into a bar with his pet crocodile.

He put the crocodile on the bar, then turned and said to the surprised drinkers :

"Let me make a deal with you. I will open the crocodile's mouth and put my dick in.

Then it will close its mouth for a minute and then open it again. I I will take out my dick unscathed,

At that time, each of you will buy me a drink in return for witnessing this spectacle."

The crowd murmured a promise The man stood in front of the bar and took off his pants.

Put his penis into the crocodile's open mouth. The crocodile closed its mouth while the audience held their breath.

After a minute, the man hit the crocodile on the head with a beer bottle.

The crocodile opened its mouth, and the man took out his dick unharmed. The crowd cheered and gave it to Give the man a drink.

Soon the man stood up and made another proposal: "I will give one hundred yuan to anyone who dares to give it a try."

There was a silence among the crowd. After a while, a blond girl from behind the bar raised a hand and said shyly:

"I can give it a try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with a beer bottle."

5. Condoms say to sanitary napkins: Sister, don’t go to work. Once you go to work, I will have no business for seven days! Sanitary napkin vs. condom: Brother, just be content with yourselves. If you leak, I will be out of work for ten months!

6. Once, Ge You invited a friend to dinner and went to the toilet in the middle. When he came back, his pants were wet.

Friend: "Why are your pants wet?"

Ge You: "This happens often since I became famous.

"

Friend: "Does this happen often? "

Ge You: "No! Often the person next to him will suddenly turn around and shout, "Isn't this Ge You!" '

7. Skill

One day, a woodcutter met an ascetic in the mountains and started chatting with him...

The woodcutter: "I don't know. How long has the master been practicing here?"

Monk: "It's been about thirty years..."

The woodcutter: "Master has been practicing like this for I don't know a month. How many times will he still fall in love? "

Monk: "My poor monk's skills are still shallow, but he will still fall in love three times a month..."

Woodcutter: "Master is indeed an extraordinary person. I admire you so much!!"

Monk: "There, there!! Just ten days at a time..."

8. Be baptized

One day a church held a new training During the female baptism ceremony, the old nun who presided over said: You new girls must repent before God. There is a basin of holy water here. Come over one by one and look at the places where you have touched men. : Just wash it with holy water! : The first one came in and washed his hands with holy water... : The old nun said: Well, it's okay, it's just with hands... : The second one came in , washed her eyes with holy water...: The old nun thought for a moment and said: Oh, so you only need to look, very good, very good...: After the third one came in, suddenly the fourth one also grabbed it came in and stood in front of her... : The old nun asked: Child, why did you jump in line? : The fourth girl said: I... I... : I don't want to use her to wash my butt. Please use some water to rinse your mouth!