Embarrassed situation, silence yourself.

when you are with people around you, you accidentally put yourself in an awkward position. For example: I fell and farted. Encounter such a thing, people around you are actually very embarrassed, might as well laugh at yourself and let everyone out of this state!

embarrassed, quiet and silent.

Humor is an excellent and healthy personality, which can help you interact well with others, relieve the tension and rigidity in your interpersonal relationship like a lubricant, and make your interpersonal relationship lively.

Every time I talk about humor, I think of a friend. At that time, several of our friends were walking on the road together. In public, the buddy actually tripped over a stone. We all froze and looked at him straight. I always thought he was quite tall, but at the moment when he fell to the ground with a splash, I found him quite long for the first time. It was embarrassing at that time, but this buddy actually turned over and lay on his back, very relieved: "Hey, I owe this stone, and now I have finally paid it off!" " We couldn't help laughing and quickly pulled him up, and the onlookers laughed away.

When embarrassing things happen, a little humor will show a rare sense of happiness and charm. We always complain in our hearts that the air around us is too dull, the relationship between people is too tense, and there are always embarrassing accidents in our lives. To change all this, there is an immediate way: 3354 is quiet if nothing happens! Humor is an excellent and healthy personality, which can help you interact well with others, relieve the tension and rigidity in your interpersonal relationship like a lubricant, and make your interpersonal relationship lively.

In fact, there is an unconscious energy field in every event, which restricts everyone's role and makes everyone's energy in it point to a fixed point, such as quarreling. Sometimes I feel wronged, and sometimes I feel that I represent justice. This feeling comes from the unconscious energy field at the time of the event. When unhappiness happens, energy is frozen, and you will find it difficult to calm down, while others are also imprisoned by negative energy. At this time, you will find it difficult to convince each other for a while, no matter how correct the reason is. But humor, which can break this frozen energy, is a rapid process of "breaking the state 3354 and arousing happiness", which makes the energy of the whole field flow again. This requires not only intellectual inspiration, but more importantly, courage to change roles in an instant, or even completely deny one's inherent role and gain one's own humor.

it's always a safe way to make fun of yourself. After all, how can others be embarrassed to make things difficult for you, because you are taking things yourself and showing a low profile? A female colleague, with dark skin, is always teased by her vitriolic office colleagues, and she is very unhappy every time. Later, she found a wonderful way to actively open the topic. For example, "Oh, my husband and I went to Hainan and came back to compare their arms. This is the difference between milk and coffee! " Colleagues scoffed at this, but kindly comforted them: "It's okay. Just apply more sunscreen next time. " For a long time, in fact, few people joked about her dark skin, and everyone's relationship was relatively harmonious.

some people say that people who dare to laugh at themselves are not trying to please others, but because they are confident in themselves and accept their own shortcomings. Those who "can't joke" actually don't mind the words themselves, but others take off the cover or disguise without permission. But what he doesn't know is that it is this mentality that makes his inner fragility and defects more exposed to others. Most of us like honest and generous people. After all, we all have our own shortcomings and some embarrassing things. What are you pretending to be, aren't you?

teach you how to speak dialogue.

More and more people find it not difficult to "speak". The real difficulty lies in how to "speak" properly. Since ancient times, China culture has been reserved and restrained. Generally speaking, people only say half a sentence and like to leave room until they get to the point. Obviously, a simple thing is that they won't explain it thoroughly and let you guess for yourself. Not only that, but also many words have different meanings in different contexts. Therefore, foreigners often find it difficult to learn Chinese well, and the ancient culture behind Chinese characters is even more mysterious.

Take the word "meaning" as an example, there is a very classic joke. Some people don't understand the meaning of the leader and ask others for help. And the superior tells you what you mean. If the leader is embarrassed, just say something is wrong.

what do the "meanings" in the previous paragraph mean? Of course, this is a bridge, and I don't need you to answer me, just let us Chinese people who speak Chinese every day experience the profoundness of Chinese again. If we take the CET-4-6 in China, we may really be stumped by many people.

One of the arts of speaking

Title: Dear, who is your "dear"?

I remember someone on the Internet adapted the conversation of the traffic police with Taobao headlines. "Dear, please show me your driver's license." "Dear, you will be fined 2 yuan 2 points for this violation." Dear

If traffic police comrades salute you while driving, you will be scared to death. Nowadays, in the society of "pretending to be acquaintances", we are just strangers who know each other, and most of our real relatives are strangers. No relatives, Michelle Platini dear dad.

It is said that Taobao's title of "pro" is-,which can be widely used in Taobao, and can be changed from Wangwang in Taobao to the daily title of ordinary people. There is still a reason why it can be widely circulated. The greater the radius of a city's life, the less familiar the citizens are. Big cities are more like a stranger society, so among the top ten indifferent cities in China, Beishangguang naturally ranks among them. In these cold cities, you may live in the same building for several years. It's normal that the next-door neighbor's name is not clear. Some relatives are in the same city, so they are probably too busy to walk around, and strangers on Taobao take the opportunity to become your "relatives".

relatives, relatives within the family, but outside the Qiyan family. Of course, the word "dear" in Taobao can also be understood as the omission of "dear". However, no matter how you understand it, calling a stranger a "kiss" on Taobao will instantly bring the two sides closer. Some people will feel a little disgusted, but at least you won't be scared to run away, and you won't be so angry that you won't patronize this small shop any more.

There is an old saying that "people who reach out and don't smile" means this. There is nothing wrong with being polite, especially the appellation. How to address colleagues and bosses, I believe many people in the workplace have thought about it. Proper addressing will make everyone comfortable, and improper addressing may lead to the other party's disgust.

Therefore, it is better to shout at everyone than to whisper. A small supervisor will laugh when he is called the director, and the attending physician in the hospital will not blame you too much when he is called the director. But if things reverse, it will be fatal.

a small name is a big deal. It is nothing more than a little vanity and status, which are all reflected in it.

The second art of speaking

People are lazy rather than stupid.

I talked about "love" with a relative's nephew. He is a freshman in Beijing and his girlfriend is a senior in his hometown. I asked him if he would have a sense of crisis if he was in a long-distance relationship. He said that he hadn't thought about it carefully, but he often said that the other person was fat or stupid. I wonder if this is an inner insecurity? Because he clearly knows that his girlfriend is good in appearance and intelligence.

I think people in love are often insincere, but they clearly like but deny their feelings. In fact, not only lovers, but also many parents. It's just that parents who often say their children are stupid have different emotions from lovers. They complain that they hate iron and don't produce steel, and hope that their children can wake up and become smarter in this way.

have you ever said "stupid" words to people around you? Is that inappropriate?

If a person fails, whether it is your boyfriend, girlfriend, children or friends, even if it is impossible to meet again, don't call him stupid. If anything, he is a bit lazy.

Because stupidity is a problem of ability, laziness is a problem of attitude, which is obviously different in nature. No one wants to be considered incompetent or capable in any way. Stupidity is an unchangeable internal cause that will make everyone lose hope; Laziness is a variable internal cause, which will give people hope for progress.

think about getting married again. When many women's emotions come, they will call a spade a spade and say that their children are stupid and their husbands are stupid. This can only make them happy for a while, and the subsequent impact on parent-child relationship and husband-wife relationship will make you feel uncomfortable ten times and one hundred times.

There are also some women who have suffered from domestic violence. They have been complaining about their husbands' tyranny. In fact, after exploring the mode of getting along with such families, we will find that although most violent families are beaten by husbands, verbal violence by wives is also common. In other words, the wife's mouth is aggressive, and the husband's mouth raises his fist when he can't speak to her.

Many people will ask psychologists how to make others accept themselves more easily. I will advise you to treat others as you want them to treat you.

The third art of speaking

The more repetitions, the lower the weight.

China people's highest attitude towards speeches is forgetting words, which is difficult to do. Secondly, be cautious, taciturn and speak slowly. Caution means speaking carefully, and speaking carefully naturally means talking less, talking less and making fewer mistakes; It is a deep or quiet character or moral character. Nervousness in speech means being speechless, which is a kind of upright character or moral character.

in short, it's best to "speak skillfully and say little", that is, say more and say less.

One of my visitors, she has been in love with her boyfriend for more than three years. Recently, she is worried about getting married in a hurry, but the other party always seems to deliberately avoid it. I asked her if she had talked with each other about her thoughts. She said that she often talked about it and would go to the other party for an interview every time she remembered it. If she can't find it, she will call her cell phone. As a result, she didn't answer her cell phone several times and turned it off directly.

Actually, speaking requires skill, not to mention talking about marriage with each other. I would advise women to think it over and make full preparations. Otherwise, what women like the above do is more like venting their anger. If they are unhappy, they want to get married or find each other. The purpose of conversation is not to vent anger, but to solve problems. Can it be solved? Can it be accepted? If you just toss over and over again, you will get more and more angry and the other person will look down on you more and more.

So, why do some women have powerful words? It is because saying the same thing only once in the right place is far more powerful than those women who repeat it endlessly.

In fact, the art of speaking goes far beyond these three points. In detail, writing a book is enough. I just want to share three representative views with you. Whether in the workplace or at home, being able to speak and speak is as important to people as making the right choice.

The highest state of speaking

There is a story. It is said that just after Empress Zhao came to power, the State of Qin attacked Zhao. In times of crisis, Zhao had to ask Qi for help, but Qi put forward a rescue condition, that is, let Chang go to Qi as a hostage. Queen Zhao, who dotes on children and lacks political foresight, refused to agree to this condition, and the minister tried his best to dissuade her, which made her angry. "If you have a confession to keep hostage, the old woman will spit in her face." Faced with this situation, Zuo Gong, who is well versed in the art of speaking, did not make a fuss blindly like other courtiers. Instead, he observes what he says and performs in front of the camera.

The dragon avoided its sharp edge, saying nothing about letting Chang 'e go to Qi as a hostage, but changed the subject. Ask the queen mother about food, clothing, housing and transportation, then talk about Aiko, and finally talk about the succession to the throne.

Zuo said, "From this generation to three generations ago, until the founding of Zhao State, were the descendants of Zhao Wang made heirs to the prince?" Empress Zhao said, "No." Mo Long said, "Not only Zhao, but also descendants of other princes. Are their descendants still there? " Empress Zhao said, "I haven't heard of it." Zuo's family said, "This is because they have high status but have not made meritorious service, and they are well paid but have too much treasure! Now you have elevated Chang's position to a very high level, but you don't take this opportunity to let him contribute to the country. A hundred years later, why do you want to stand on Zhao's side? " The queen mother said, "well, let you appoint him."

Before you know it, the Empress Dowager's anger completely disappeared. She repented, knew how to love her children, and happily arranged to be a hostage in Qi.

No matter how high your speaking skills are, you can't beat the word "reason". The speech must be well-founded, acceptable to others and impeccable. The reason why the words of touching the dragon finally convinced Empress Zhao that she was willing to arrange Chang 'e to be a hostage in the State of Qi was that he could convince people by reasoning on the basis of feelings. If you love children, you should give them a foundation, not just rely on power and parents. There is not a word about hostages in the whole conversation, but a word about hostages. The twists and turns show the mystery of language, and after persuasion, things are inevitable.

the highest state of speaking is "the unity of man and nature". A real master should communicate with you from the perspective of the depths of the soul. This is an emotional communication. The language at this time may be the most common and humble, but it is also the simplest and most touching. As the saying goes, true water has no fragrance, and true love has no trace. It's like a state of returning to nature.

conclusion: humor is not innate. As long as you are willing, you may wish to have a little humor slowly, and you will be handy one day. (The article was originally published in "Warring States Policy" and "Health Magazine", and the release date was June 212. The authors are Ze Ren and He He. Copyright belongs to the author. The purpose of reprinting is to convey more information, which does not mean that 36 Common Sense Network agrees with its views and is responsible for its authenticity. Please contact us as soon as possible, and we will delete the content as soon as possible.