A couple of goats are joking.

Dad asked me: Why do you always smoke? ! I said, I'm not happy that Taiwan Province Province hasn't paid it back yet!

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I thought there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole. A fucking asshole passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two!

It's about breakfast

A man woke up in the morning and found his wife dead in bed. he

Jumped up, ran down the stairs with a pale face and shouted, "Mei! 155

May! "

The maid promised, "sir! What is it? "

"It is enough to boil an egg for breakfast."

1. You want to kiss me?

One night, a young girl and a handsome male employee walked side by side on a secluded country road. The employee has a big bucket on his shoulder, a roast chicken in one hand, a cane in the other and a goat. They walked into a long and quiet dark alley.

"I dare not walk here with you," said the girl. "Maybe you want to kiss me!"

"I brought so many things," the man asked. "How is that possible?" "hmm." The girl said, "What if you put a crutch in the mud, tie the sheep to it and put the chicken in the bucket?"

2. The temptation of beauty

English gentlemen and French women share a box, and the woman takes off her coat and lies down to complain.

It's cold in bed. Mr. Wang gave her his quilt, but she kept saying it was cold.

"How else can I help you?" Mr. Wang asked in dismay.

"When I was a child, my mother always used her body to keep me warm."

"Young lady, I can't help you. Where can I find your mother? "

gamble

A young man walked behind a girl and covered her eyes with his hand.

The eyes said, "If you can't guess who I am, let me kiss you. quick

Say three names! "

"Louis XVI? ..... wrong? Victor hugo? ..... take it.

Broken LUN? Still wrong? Then you win! "

4. Couplets

In the evening, several college students wandered around the campus. At the fork in the road, the man suddenly saw a couplet on the street sign.

One of them: the north-south passage of Nantong Road connects the north and the south.

So he said to his girlfriend, I'll write you a couplet. Nantong road .....

The woman glanced at the street sign and said, boys, girls, boys and girls, boys and girls.

Slow response

On the park bench, a pair of lovers snuggled up.

The man asked, "May I kiss you?"

The woman did not answer.

The man asked again, "Can you let me kiss you?"

The woman still doesn't answer.

The man is angry: "Hey, are you deaf?" "

The woman was angry: "Hey, are you dead?" "

1. A mental patient is writing a letter. The nurse asked, who are you writing to? Patient: myself. The nurse asked again, what should I write? The patient jumped up and cried, "You are mentally ill. I haven't received it. How do I know what to write! "

The new director of a mental hospital approached a patient and asked him why he was in a mental hospital.

"Doctor, it is like this. I married a widow with an adult daughter. My father married my daughter, so my wife became my father-in-law's mother-in-law, and my daughter became my stepdaughter and stepmother. My stepmother gave birth to a son, who became the grandson of my brother and my wife. I also have a son who became his grandfather's brother-in-law and his uncle's uncle. On the other hand, when the father mentioned his grandson, he said he was a brother-in-law, and the son called his sister grandma. Now I think I am my mother's father, my grandson's brother, my wife is the daughter of her son-in-law and her grandson's sister. Now I don't know if I am my grandfather, my brother's father or my son's nephew, because my son is my father's brother-in-law. Dean, that's why I'm here. I think it is calmer here than at home.

Patients in mental hospitals usually have a worship complex for doctors or nurses.

One day, a female patient came to see a male doctor. ...

Female patient: Dr. Lan, do you love me?

Dr. Lan pondered for a long time (in order not to hurt the patient and avoid the deterioration of his condition)

Dr. Lan: We have a doctor-patient relationship. Because you are ill, I must take good care of you. ...

In order not to hurt the patient, Dr. Lan explained for a long time and finally finished. )

Female patient: Dr. Lan, you mean you don't love me anymore?

Dr. Lan (brooding): Hmm … hmm … hmm …

Female patient: Nothing … I love Dr. Chen …

Because of the economic crisis, the number of mental patients has increased sharply recently.

The mental hospital is full. In order to reserve a place for those patients with serious illness, the dean has to send those patients with less serious illness out of the hospital. To this end, he thought of a way:

The doctor asked the first patient, "What is 3 times 3? . "

"274"

The doctor asked the second patient again, "It's your turn. What is 3 times 3? "

"Tuesday."

The doctor turned to the third patient again: "well, now it's your turn." What is 3 times 3? "

"9。"

"Very good!"

The doctor praised, "How did you work it out?"

"You are so stupid, this is not simple? Just divide Tuesday by 274! ? "

5. Two psychiatrists are chatting together.

"What is the most difficult case you have ever encountered?" One asked. "I once met a patient," replied another. "He always believed that he had a rich uncle in South America and would leave him a large fortune, so he did nothing every day, just waiting for a letter informing him to collect it."

"What was the result?"

"It took me eight years to cure him, but the damn letter came!"