My girlfriend asked me to tell her jokes. I can't remember them at the moment. I can only rely on netizens to help me think of some jokes.

Wife calls: Husband, something is wrong. Today, several thieves entered our community and our house was patronized!

I quickly asked: Did you lose something?

Wife: The house was turned upside down, and the 1000 yuan in the closet was gone. What else is missing? I'm cleaning up. The police came to see it this afternoon. Fortunately, those thieves have been caught by the police, and they are checking the stolen list.

Me: Go and look at the wedding photos hanging on the bedside. There is a red envelope stuck with double-sided tape behind the photo frame, which contains 20 thousand yuan!

Wife put the phone down. In two minutes. ....

The wife asked, I took down the photo frame and looked at it. There's nothing.

I thought you could find such an unpredictable place. It seems that what you met today is no ordinary stupid thief. I quickly asked my wife to go to the bathroom again and said that there was a crack on the side of the toilet tank against the wall and a black plastic bag was stuffed. See if there are any more.

Five minutes later, my wife called: No way, did you remember the wrong place?

I said anxiously: impossible. I checked before my business trip. A total of 40 thousand yuan, all of which are continuous hundred-dollar bills. That was deducted from the bonus that the company gave me last year.

The wife asked: Is that all? Have you forgotten something?

Me: No, just this 60,000 yuan.

I reminded my wife that I must tell the police about the money.

The wife relaxed and calmly replied: OK. Thank you for your excellent performance in this family burglar drill. ....

I immediately fainted and screamed at the sky: Woman, what's the matter with you?