Who has some ancient and modern jokes or humorous stories or humorous classical Chinese? The more, the better.

Once married, the bride farted and the scene became awkward. One person said, "The bride farted, which is very lucky." After a while, I farted two times and the scene became awkward. The man said, "The bride released two, and one was the first two." After a while, she farted and the scene became awkward. Only the man said, "run, the bride wants to pull!" " "

Beer in the ladies' room

One day, Qian, who was too drunk in the wine field, mistakenly entered the ladies' room and vomited in the carriage. At this time, a lady went to the toilet to pee. When Qian heard her urinating, he mistakenly thought that someone was pouring beer and said angrily, "I told you not to drink." Who is falling? " The lady was shocked, so she held back her urine and wanted to wait until the money was gone. Unexpectedly, she farted. Hearing this, Mr. Qian was furious, patted the partition with his hand and shouted, "I said I wouldn't drink it, but who opened another bottle?" Who starts drinking first! "

name

When the school began to call the roll, a class teacher was ingenious and said to the students, "I'll read the student number, so you can give your own names and get to know each other, okay?"

"No.0065438 +0!"

"Teacher, my name is Jiao and my name is Jiao Pei." The teacher was a little dizzy and asked, "Who gave this to you?"

"My dad." "What does your father do?"

"Open a pig farm!"

"No.002!"

A girl stood up and said, "Teacher, my name is Zhang and my name is Zhang Dekai."

"No.003!"

"Teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother. My name is Zhang. "Who gave you this name?"

"It's my dad. He sells pliers. " The teacher quickly took a sip of water.

"No.004!"

"Report teacher, my name is Qu (pronounced" ou "), and my name is Qu Ye (oh yeah). This is the name my mother gave me. She said that when she gave birth to me, a computer game exploded. " The teacher felt a little uncomfortable.

"No.005!"

"Report to the teacher, foster mother!" "How do you call names? ! "

"no! Teacher, I mean my last name is Gan, and my name is foster mother. My father makes wine. " The teacher took a pill.

006! "

"Teacher, my surname is Gou, and I am told to ignore it."

"Your dad is a steamed stuffed bun shop? ! "

"Teacher, you are so smart!" The teacher has been a little shaken.

"No.007!"

"My name is Kuai (read fast, send the third sound. ) This is called goods. "

"Don't tell me your father runs a warehouse."

"Teacher, you are too old-fashioned. My father is a pimp. " Blood oozed from the teacher's mouth.

"No.008!"

"Teacher, go to hell!" "What? what did you say ? /Excuse me? ! "

"I mean, my name is Ni, and I'm going to the temple. My mother is a Buddhist. Is my name interesting? "

"Interesting, interesting." The teacher is about to cry.

"No.009!"

"Teacher, let's talk about it next time." "Why do you want to say it next time, you say it now!"

"no! Teacher, my surname is Xia, and my name is Xia Huishuo. My father is a storyteller. " The teacher felt dizzy.

"0 10! "

"Teacher, my last name is Gao."

"My name is Mei, and my name is Mei Conscience."

"My name is Wu, and my name is Kate."

"My surname is Mao, and my name is Mao Rongrong." …………

The teacher turned to the sky and growled, "God, I met a group of students!" " "The teacher spurted blood and fell to the ground.

Star joke

Jay Chou took Jolin Tsai to Stephen Chow to drink water. Suddenly Nicholas Tse blew and an Nicky Wu emerged from the water. Nicky Wu and Ekin Cheng rode Ka Kui Wong together and took Jolin Tsai. Jay Chou held Emil Wakin Chau, stepped on Deric Wan, crossed Zhao Benshan, crossed Rosamund Kwan, leaped over Pan Changjiang, grabbed Jolin Tsai and returned to Aaron Kwok. He also hung a flag in a city called Richie Jen!