Kneel for a few hilarious jokes that can make you laugh! ! !

1. In the hospital, an electrician walked into the operating room and said to a dying patient wearing an oxygen mask, "Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!"

2. My son did something wrong and was scolded by his father and cried for a long time. His father ignored him. When he stopped crying, his father asked him, "You stopped crying?" The son replied, "No, I want to have a rest!" "

My deskmate has a cold and a runny nose, but I forgot to bring my handkerchief, so I have been sniffing hard. The Chinese teacher writing on the blackboard suddenly turned around and shouted, "That's enough! Stop it! So noisy! " The whole class is quiet. Then, to be honest, he went on to say, "Who steals noodles in class and makes a noise?"

I met an awesome person in the subway in the morning. On the subway, a buddy's doorbell rang loudly, and all the passengers heard it: "Grandpa, that grandson called you again ... Grandpa, that grandson called you again ..." I saw that buddy slowly took out his mobile phone and answered it, saying, "Hey! Dad, what is it ... "

The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, "I thought there was something in my shoes, so I shook my shoes with a telephone pole." Who knows that a fucking bastard passed by and thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and gave me two rolls. "

6. The elephant accidentally stepped on the ant's nest, and the ants climbed onto the elephant one by one. The elephant ran around and the ants fell down. At this time, an ant was wrapped around the elephant's neck, and the fallen ant shouted, "strangle him ... strangle him ..."

7. The blind man stuttered while riding a bicycle and sat in front to watch the road. Suddenly, he saw a deep ditch between Israel and Australia and stammered in a panic, "ditch ditch ditch!" " Hearing this, the blind man sang back: "Oh, oh, oh, oh!" " So they fell into a deep ditch to pull.

8. In the race between the tortoise and the hare, the hare ran to the front and the tortoise crawled behind. Seeing a snail crawling slowly, he said to the snail, "Come on up, I'll carry you." Then the snail climbed up. After a while, the tortoise saw another ant and said to him, "Come up, too!" " Even ants can crawl; When the ants go up, they see the snails on it and say hello to them. Do you know what the snail said? He said, "Hurry up, this turtle is so fast."

9. I drank with my friends two days ago and went to the restaurant bathroom to pee. When I saw a sentence written on the wall, I took a closer look. It said, "Stop looking and concentrate on peeing". After reading this sentence, I found that I peed my shoes.

10. A farmer drove his carriage to the market and met a hooligan at the market. The rogue said, "Hello!" The farmer replied, "Hello!" The rogue went on to say, "I said it to your horse." Then he smiled. Suddenly the farmer turned and patted his horse and said, "Bastard, don't tell me if you have relatives in the city!" "

1 1. Tortoise and snail live together. Once the tortoise was injured, he asked the snail to buy medicine for him. Two hours later, the snail didn't come back. The tortoise was in a hurry and shouted, "Shit, I'll die if I don't come back!" " At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: "You fucking said I wouldn't go!" " Ha ha laugh ... this snail is too slow.

12. Husband: "Why is the landline phone bill so high this month?" Wife: "Mrs. Wang next door once borrowed the phone." Husband: "Even once, not much!" Wife: "She has a stutter."

13. A group of students are training under the tree. The instructor said, "Count off in the first row." No one responded. The instructor said loudly, "Count off in the first row!" I saw a man in the first row, reluctantly turned around, walked to the tree and hugged it.

14. The teacher told a parent: "Your son copied the neighbor's test paper because they were all wrong." The disgruntled parent replied, "Maybe his neighbor peeked at him." Teacher: "No. I asked, "When did Napoleon die?" The neighbor answered' I don't know' and your son answered' I don't know'.

15. A psychopath sang in bed, turned over and continued to sing on the pillow. The attending doctor asked, "Just sing, why turn it over?" Neuropathy said: "Fool, of course, after singing A side, you will change to B side."

16. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Say, where are you from?" I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! "College students answered the enemy's words and were electrocuted. He said, "I'm from TV University. "

17. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over to him and said, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby!"