How much is a joke?

I was not confident about my appearance, so I asked my mother, "Mom, do you think I am ugly?" ? Mom said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said, "I have no girlfriend." Mom said, "This is the answer."

2. Several students said to buy the same shoes. After visiting several stores, I finally took a fancy to a pair and wanted the boss to lower the price. One of them said, "Boss, make it cheaper. There are many of us." Hearing this, the boss stood up and said, "What? There are so many people, I am still afraid of you! "

Urban management arrested people at the school gate, and vendors fled everywhere. Only one uncle was super calm and didn't run. He ate his walnuts and raisins and said that he pushed a car just to stutter at the school gate.

Once I killed a chicken, and my 5-year-old son watched. The son is very close. When he was bleeding, the rooster was so strong that his son fell on his face with blood, and he was scared to run and cry. I was afraid that he would fall, so I ran after him and forgot to have a bloody kitchen knife in my hand. Then the 80-year-old grandmother next door fainted.

5. I have been working in the field since graduation. Later, my parents moved and changed rooms, in the new development zone. When I came home for the New Year, I called in the taxi and asked my mother where her home was. My mother said for a long time that I didn't know, so I just put the driver on the phone. After putting down the phone, the driver asked me, "Were you trafficked since childhood?"

6. Watching TV series with my daughter-in-law. The woman was pregnant for two months. The doctor came out and asked the man, "Adults and children can only keep one. Which one should I choose?" Lying in the trough, how can two-month-old children be protected without adults? Where should I put it if it is guaranteed?

A long time ago, a dragon threatened people in the town to give it gold and virgins every day until a brave man killed it. Then, the brave man looked at money and beautiful women everywhere, and scales gradually grew on his body.

8. I quarreled with my daughter-in-law, who called me stupid and was heard by my mother. Mom said, "I just want to interrupt." His stupidity has nothing to do with us. It's not genetic, but the longer he grows, the more stupid he becomes. " Me: ...

9. As soon as Xiaoming got home, his father asked, "Are you punished by the teacher for coming back so late today?" Xiao Ming nodded. Dad asked, "Why?" Xiaoming: "The teacher asked me what 2+3 was, and I said it was 5." Dad: "Right?" Xiaoming: "Later, the teacher asked, what is 3+2?" Dad: "Isn't this fucking the same?" Xiao Ming said, "That's what I said ..."10. Xiong Haizi said, "Dad, when I have money, I will buy a plane and take you to work every day." Dad: "You can afford a plane, and you want me to work?"