I will share humorous jokes early.

Jokes are very popular among people. In today's society, there are many jokes every day. If you put your mind on them, I think they will be very valuable and enrich the treasure house of jokes in the future.

1. You have intensive phobia because those things are not beautiful. What you are afraid of is not secrecy, but ugliness. If you don't believe me, think about the pile of 100 RMB in front of you. You're not dense enough, and you're afraid of a wool!

2, a white cover three ugliness, a fat ruin everything! I finally know the meaning of clothes size: s=s figure; M= beauty; L= rotten; Xl= rotten; Xxl= powder!

3, cauliflower: I am like a small tree.

Mushroom: I am like an umbrella.

Walnut: I am like a brain.

Banana: Me. . . .

Litchi: Let's change the subject. .

4. Most of the four classic novels are inspirational novels, and the protagonists of three of the four novels are all X-rays. ...

Song Jiang's black charcoal,

Liu Bei, who sells straw sandals,

And the Monkey King, he's not even human. ...

The only protagonist is Jia Baoyu of Gao Fushuai, who is still a sissy. ...

5. Thief A: "I can't see my fingers tonight. Let's buy tickets!"

Thief B: "I like to do it on a starry night."

Thief A: "You are so special!"

Thief B: "To tell you the truth, my nickname is Starlight Thief." (Thief A immediately threw thief B away. )

Thief B got a fright: "What do you want?"

Thief A said excitedly, "My greatest wish in my life is to be a star thief."

6. The new headmaster, with a rigorous style of study, calls himself a psychological counselor.

You are welcome to ask him to enlighten you. One or two students went to the headmaster and said, "headmaster, I fell in love early." What should I do? "

The headmaster said kindly, classmate, don't worry, speak slowly. Come on, write down your name and class.

The next day, the idiot was punished. . .

7. A lady is going to try her luck by buying a lottery ticket. She said to a waiter selling lottery tickets, "I want to buy a lottery ticket, but I don't know what number to choose." Can you help me choose? "

"Of course." The waiter readily agreed.

"Can you tell me how many times you have been abroad?"

"Four times."

"Well, let's choose 4 as the first number."

"How many children do you have?"

"Two."

"OK, the second number is 2."

"How many books have you read this year?"

"Five books."

The waiter wrote down the number 5 and asked, "How many times do you have sex with your husband every month?"

"Don't you think this question is personal?" This lady is a little unhappy.

"yes. But do you want to win the prize or not? "

"All right, then. Twice. " This lady is helpless.

"Very well. Now that we trust each other very much, please tell me how many times have you betrayed your husband in your life? "

"What are you talking about? I am not that kind of frivolous and dissolute woman! " The lady's face turned sour.

"good! Don't be angry, even once, then the last number is 0. Now the lucky lottery number you choose is 42520. "

A few days later, the lady bought a newspaper and checked the lottery results on it. She found that the lottery winning number she bought turned out to be 42527. The lady couldn't help thinking to herself in frustration: "My mother is right, lying won't have a good result!" " "

8. "Sometimes I suddenly hear the news that someone is in love with someone, just like hearing the news that Meng Po and Rebecca are in love."

"What do you mean?"

"God knows how they got together."

3. The psychological lecture expert called a person when explaining human potential and asked him, "Can you do a hundred push-ups?"

"can't"

"What if a gangster points a gun at you?"

"can't"

"What if you don't do it and kill your wife?"

"I can't do any of them!"

There are two big mountains in front of Gong Yu's house, and he is determined to level them. Another wise man laughed at him and thought he could not do it. Yu Gong said, "I have a son when I die, and a grandson when my son dies. There are endless descendants, so why worry about digging rough? "

Zhicuo smiled. If you dig mountains, who will marry you and have a son?

Finally, one day, Gong Yu dug up two big coal mines. Then the illegitimate child spread all over the entertainment circle. ...

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