The tragedy of having a second child in this contradictory era

My best friend in Beijing gave birth to her second child, and she confided to me on the phone the helplessness of life. My best friend originally worked for a Fortune 500 foreign company, and her husband’s salary was also good. The young couple could basically earn 30,000 to 40,000 yuan a month. The two “Beijing drifters” bought a 90-square-meter second-hand house with their own efforts. A cute little girl who has just turned three years old and has a relatively comfortable life. The arrival of the second child suddenly disrupted the normal rhythm of life. My best friend's company is an American company, which has been greatly affected by the epidemic. Her department was split up and the company began to lay off employees. She escaped layoffs because of her maternity leave, but when the one-year breastfeeding protection period is over, where will she go? The eldest child needs someone to take him to and from kindergarten. The second child is still young and needs someone to take care of him. The parents are too old and in poor health. It is inconvenient to go up the stairs, so they can only ask someone to help take care of the child. Childcare nannies are expensive and hard to find; It’s too big. The house is too small to live in, so we need to move to a bigger house as soon as possible. My husband is always traveling for work and often can’t help the family. . . . . . The arrival of the second child seems to put life into trouble all of a sudden.

The two-child policy is like a tornado, and every household is considering whether to have another child. I believe that my best friend also made a decision after giving full consideration and balance. There is also a happy mother who has given birth to a second child and enjoys a happy life as a family of four. She advises me every day to have the baby as soon as possible and not to regret it after the baby fails. Many times I ask myself, should I give birth? In order to prevent children from having to face the painful decision of "pulling out" the oxygen tube alone a hundred years later; in order to have something to rely on in the face of loss that they may face in case of misfortune; or for the so-called continuation of the family bloodline, etc. wait. However, if you want to wear the crown, you must bear its weight. When I think about repeating the painful three years that I couldn't sleep at night, I think about the problems I may face: bulging breasts, no one to look at my dick, my boss will be short of love, not enough housing, and my future children will go to school and have various tutoring services. Classes, all kinds of troubles, I felt that I might not be able to bear the pressure that a second child would bring to me.

I sympathize with my bestie’s situation, but at the same time I feel helpless. Every time I was encouraged to have a second child, I refused on the grounds that I did not meet the three requirements for having a second child: money, time, and someone to take care of me. It was a joke at the time, but now we are really facing the reality. Unfortunately, my best friend was caught in the joke. It is said that fewer and fewer children are giving birth to second children in Beijing. The original intention was to provide companionship to the children and hope that the children would not be too lonely. The reality is that the cost is too high and cannot be afforded.

Maybe you want to say that our parents had several children at home and their financial conditions were not good, so they were still stretched. However, times have changed. In the past, everyone just ate pickles, but now the class divisions are clear; it used to be just two steps to go to school in front of your home, but now it takes half an hour to go to school by car. Do you dare to let your children go to school alone? In the past, you didn't care about what you had to eat and drink. Now there are various training courses and various bibles on raising children. Can you watch other children's children become dragons and phoenixes, and your own children can play freely? . . . . . . In this age of anxiety, we are all in danger of ourselves.

In this era, due to the rapid development of smart technology, everyone is tensing up every nerve in their body, for fear of being abandoned by the times accidentally. Office workers are panicking and studying hard after get off work, hoping that reading can alleviate the overwhelming panic a little, but they find that the more they study, the more panic they get; parents are anxious, taking their children to various training classes every day, and the increasing class barriers are spreading everywhere. The thicker it is, the negative theory is that it will be difficult to make a fortune no matter how poor the family is; large and small companies are nervous, consumption is downgraded, users are shrinking, and the confusing epidemic situation is putting greater pressure on companies.

In this era, due to the rapid development of the Internet and communication technology, dreams have been given wings. As long as you dare to think and venture, you will have a different life. Side businesses seem to be booming overnight, and people who were once taciturn in the circle of friends are also selling goods; slash youth are not unique to this era, but they are the vane and direction of efforts of this era; Internet celebrities are in this information age products have also begun to occupy a place in social life.

In this contradictory era, everything is full of uncertainty, and everyone is struggling to survive.

In such an era of uncertainty, uncertainty, full of variables, and in which everyone is in danger, I am also struggling. I also hope that I can not be eliminated. I hope that I can use the conditions to realize my dreams. I hope that I can cultivate a Excellent children, running a happy family. Having a second child is wonderful, but the cost is too high. I must be able to accept the decline in the family's consumption level, give up the time to develop my own hobbies and take care of the children, sacrifice the fullest love for my boss, and bear to watch my parents dragging their bodies that are not intact after a lifetime of hard work to take care of my children. . . . . . I'm not willing to give up these, so I won't ask for it anymore.

Remember that Switzerland encourages families with highly educated parents to have more children. Perhaps it is because these families have good congenital conditions, their parents are highly educated, their income is relatively stable, and they have a certain social status. Raising more children will not put too much pressure on the family. It is said that the government will also provide various economic support, educational support, medical care benefits, etc. However, these families still have no children. The more parents are like this, the more they understand. As a parent, you have to bear corresponding responsibilities. If you want to have children, you have to give them a stable family and a better tomorrow, and you have to bear the costs that must be given up. If you can't achieve it, you might as well not have it.

Therefore, whether or not to have a second child is really not a matter of whim. Instead, you need to consider whether you have the conditions to have a second child, and don’t put yourself in a dilemma. Maybe one day, all the costs will no longer be a burden to me, and maybe I will have a second child.