German jokes and English food

Three shipwreck victims, a Frenchman, a Dutchman and a German, swam to an isolated island. They were rescued by the local people and taken to the leader. He looked at them and said in a stern voice, "If you want to stay, you must go to the Woods and get two fruits each ..."

The three men rushed into the Woods without thinking. The first one who came back was the Frenchman, with a grape and a strawberry in his hand, and returned to the leader. The leader said, put these two fruits in your ass. Laugh and you're dead! "

France couldn't help giggling when she stuffed grapes and was caught. The leader hit him hard on the head with a wooden stick. The bodies of the French have just been cleaned up, and the Germans came back with an apple and a pear without warning. The leader also ordered, "Put these fruits in your ass, and if you dare to laugh, you will die!" "

The Germans did as he ordered. Just as he stuffed the apple deep and was struggling to arch the sinking pear inside, the German suddenly burst out laughing and burst into tears. The leader was furious and killed him.

At the gate of heaven, the souls of two people met. The German asked the French, What's the matter? What are you laughing at?

"Yes, it's a pity that grapes make me itch, I can't control it. What about you? What are you laughing at? "

"Apple is not a problem. I just saw the Dutch coming around the corner with melons and pineapples. ...

It is said that a prisoner escaped from prison and then broke into a house and robbed some money. Then he found a couple on the bed. So he made him stand up and tied him to a chair. Then he climbed onto the woman and kissed her neck. Then he went into the bathroom.

At this moment, the man said to his wife, honey, I can see that the man came out of prison. Look at his clothes. I saw him kissing your neck. You know how sad I am. The prisoner must have been out of touch with the girl for years. Honey, whatever the rape is, you have to satisfy him. That guy is a very dangerous man. You must be strong, you must hold back, and you must satisfy him. Then the man looked at his wife affectionately and cried.

At this time, his wife said to him, honey, she didn't kiss me. He just whispered in my ear, your husband is so cute. Ask me where vaseline is. I said vaseline is in the bathroom. Honey, he is gay. Then the wife said to her husband, honey, you must be strong. ....