Are there one or two English jokes?

1. I was helping a friend of mine take care of his roadside farm stall when a man stopped and asked how much the eggs were. "Sixty cents to * * * everyone.

Medium 70 cents

90 cents for the big one and 30 cents for the cracked one.

"I was cheated." good

"He said to give me a dozen big ones. "2. A drunk walks into a lounge. After staring at a beautiful woman sitting at the bar for ten minutes.

He strolled up to her and kissed her on the mouth. She jumped up and slapped him hard. "I'm sorry.

"He said I thought you were my wife. You look like her. ""alas. Get away from me, you useless bastard.

insufferable

Useless drunkard! "She shouted wow.

"He said you even sounded like her. "3." Pour me a double whisky.

I just had a quarrel with my wife.

"Mike told the bartender Charlie." Oh.

Is it? "Charlie said who won? ""let me put it this way.

"Mike said that when all is said, all is done.

She crawled towards me with both hands and feet. ""really? & ampquot Charlie said. "What did she say?" "'Come out from under the bed, you crying coward.' & amp； quot

The drunk staggered along the alley, carrying a box with a hole in the side. He ran into a friend and asked

"What do you have there

Dude? ""a mongoose. " "For what?" "well

You know how drunk I can be. When I was drunk, I saw snakes.

I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose.

For protection. ""but

"said the friend.

"You idiot! Those are imaginary snakes. " "it doesn't matter

"said the drunk.

Show his friends the inside of the box.

"So is the mongoose." John Smith lives on Staten Island.

New york, works in Manhattan. He has to go home by ferry every night. one night

He got off the ferry and found that the next boat was still waiting.

So John decided to stop at a nearby pub. Soon he felt no pain. When he returned to the ferry.

The ferry is only eight feet from the dock. Smith (last name)

Afraid of missing this, afraid of being late for dinner

Jump and land on the deck of the ship. "Do you like to jump like that?

Buddy? "Proud John said to a deck sailor." Great!

"Said the sailor, but why don't you wait? We just pulled into the station! "

Why is it always cold in football matches? Because of those damn. F: Why is this boy sitting on his watch? So that he can arrive on time. Punctuality: punctuality.