Chapter 05 Summer Solstice. March on a sunny day (2) _3000 words

Always comfort yourself not to cry. Don't cry, even if it's so cold that tears won't freeze on your face. I keep telling myself that these storms and irresistible cold will eventually pass. There is a warm room in front. Although no one is waiting for me, there is still warm air and evergreen potted plants on the windowsill.

I strode up the stairs, two or three steps at a time, one layer at a time, and then I took out my key and opened the door. A cold wind swept out of the room.

The valve is blocked again.

Recently, the heating valve is always out of order, and the hot water is often blocked. The whole room whistled like an ice room. I took off my coat, took out wrenches and pliers from the dusty toolbox in the corner of the room, knelt on the cold concrete floor and began to repair the pipes and valves. It broke down once a few days ago, and it can still be used after knocking, and now it is blocked again. I thought to myself when I met him, damn it.

Depression and sadness are piling up in my heart like a tide. Like a pond in a school summer rainstorm, the buoy put down by the geography team slowly rises.

After a long time, it finally opened. Before I could close the valve, a stream of hot water came out. Even if I run away quickly, my hands are still red.

It hurts badly.

When I turned on the tap, the tap water was bitterly cold in winter. It's like countless sharp thorns stuck in the skin and deeply penetrated into the flesh and blood. I was stunned in front of the faucet, so I washed my hand under cold water until I was numb and my whole hand turned red, and then I came to my senses.

Turn off the tap and two lines of tears brush down.

Curled up in the quilt in the corner. With the recovery of heating, the temperature in the room gradually rises. A layer of water vapor quickly condenses on the glass window because the temperature changes too fast, and then condenses more and more, and one or two large water droplets flow down the glass window along the messy traces.

What the fuck is today?

There was no sound in my throat, as if I had been strangled.

When I close my eyes, I feel my eyes hurt, my hands are red, and I have blisters and it hurts. There was a sound of broken glass in the chest, like a boulder smashing the French window. Messy debris scattered all over the floor, deeply and shallowly tied to the softest part of the heart, and blood gurgled out.

What kind of day is this? Almost completely lost the meaning of leaving Asakawa.

After I came to Beijing, I met the agent of that record company on the recommendation of that boss. In fact, that record company is very famous in China. Although she is not famous at all and has no vocal training, she signed it anyway. The agent told her that I decided to sign you, not because of your good singing, but because of your feeling.

After that, it didn't go smoothly as expected. The company didn't spend too much energy to meet her, and many artists in her agent's hands stayed in the company after meeting her. When some big-name stars change clothes at the concert, they can sing on stage with several other newcomers, and all of them sing other people's songs. Some large-scale activities, such as the opening ceremony or small fashion parties, can also be present to sing and entertain.

Later, her agent helped her find a job singing in a five-star hotel, but when she met a voice used to rock and sing those canary songs, she always looked embarrassed and uncomfortable, and she felt uncomfortable in an evening dress. So she gave up. When she gave up her job, so did her agent.

I remember the agent saying to himself, "No new person can be choosy. You chose to give up. Don't blame me. "

I kept thinking when I met you. Did you really give up on yourself? Did I really give up my dream for so long? After thinking about it for a long time, I still don't understand it, and I feel very wronged, but because I have a strong personality since I was a child, I still have no compromise.

From then on, as soon as we met, there was no job, no notice, and no chance to show up. She came here with these. But you need money. Finally, I got a job in a convenience store with a low salary. There happened to be a newspaper delivery job in the community, so I was very tired and went to pick it up. I got a job singing in a bar at night.

Then I began to live in the big city of Beijing.

Living in a crack in the stone forest, flies catch dogs.

I used to think that the time spent on the train from Asakawa to Beijing on Christmas Eve was the loneliest moment in my life. When I arrived in Beijing, I found that every day was more lonely than that moment.

But lonely, lonely, such words will not appear in the dictionary you meet. Walking on the dusty road in Beijing, I still firmly believe that one day, I will become the best female singer in China. Although the sky is cloudy, it will still be blue. Clouds will still come and go smartly. Time will eventually feather into a gorgeous butterfly, scattering dazzling scales in the world.

Chang Xia's hotel is an old villa on an old street in Shanghai. It's near the small company competition examination room. The whole street is full of exotic buildings, ancient villas and houses with iron bars. The red walls are covered with vines, and most of them wither into light yellow in winter, with a deeper gray light on the back of leaves.

The white window opens under the triangular roof, which is a standard attic window. There is a tall French phoenix tree in the yard. Its leaves have fallen to the ground, and its bare branches are struggling to stab into the air.

Twilight is in full swing. There are fuzzy clouds moving fast in the sky, casting even more blurred shadows on the ground.

Is this Shanghai? Is this the bustling ten-mile foreign exchange described by Zhang Ailing? Chang Xia patted his ear. It seems that the tinnitus on the plane is not over yet, and my brain is still a little unclear. How did he get to Shanghai from Asakawa? It's too exaggerated.

Take down your luggage from the taxi and walk into the gate of the hotel. Because it has just rained, the ground is wet under the light of street lamps. This suitcase is not easy to drag on the ground. Fu Xiaosi took the box in Chang Xia's hand, and Chang Xia quickly said that I don't have to do it myself. Then they argued and argued. Finally, Chang Xia was shouted by Fu Xiaosi, "Don't be brave!" Scared, and then looked at Fu Xiaosi and Lu Zhiang goes to the front, two people talking in a low voice, also didn't pay attention to yourself.

It was not until they were about to disappear into the distant twilight that Fu Xiaosi turned around. "What's the matter?" Fu Xiaosi's eyes shimmered in the twilight. "Come on."

Live in two separate rooms. The room is on the third floor. Take the wooden stairs. When you go upstairs, you will hear the sound of tapping your feet. Wooden doors, spacious rooms, white sheets and big soft pillows. It looks nice, but the price is very cheap and there are few people. Fu Xiaosi is a little suspicious of a black shop, but Lu Zhiang keeps patting his chest and says it's no problem. He had already looked it up on the Internet when he came. This is a very nice small hotel.

After putting away the luggage, Fu Xiaosi looked up at the window. It was completely dark. By the light of the street lamp, you can see the rain slanting past, flashing the silver light of the street lamp. "Ah, it's raining again," Fu Xiaosi looked back at Lu Zhiang, who was pouring water into the cup with a thermos. "Do you still want to go out?"

"Well, no," Lu Zhiang covered the cork. "Go to bed early today. You're tired anyway. You have a game tomorrow. Go after the game. "

Fu Xiaosi nodded, then said, "Then I'll tell Chang Xia."

"It's freezing," Fu Xiaosi said suddenly, sitting on the windowsill with a straight face. "Shanghai is colder than the north. It's a mess. " I still can't get rid of the habit of sitting on the windowsill, just like meeting someone. I always like to sit cross-legged on the windowsill and stare blankly out of the window.

Lu Zhiang showed white teeth and a nice and quiet smile. "Because Shanghai doesn't have heating like our north."

Fu Xiaosi looked back at Lu Zhiang with a smile, cocked his mouth, scoffed and said, "Why do you laugh like me?"? If you dare, you can grin and show your gums as before, and you are a cool handsome guy who has turned halfway. "

After that, I was hit in the head by a thrown pillow. Then the two men started fighting.

Tired of playing, two people sat on the bed, wrapped in quilts and chatting with each other.

"Hey, Xiao Si, do you remember one time we went out to travel like this and chatted in sleeping bags? I remember you also said that we are like two talking zongzi. "

"Well, I remember, and I remember that a good place to sleep was chosen by a certain * *, and the next day I got up and was surrounded by the wheels of a big truck that drove past. Immortality really doesn't make sense. "

"... but this is not the past. Ha ... "

"Don't shut up! Zongzi! "

"Hey ..."

"Why?"

"Are you nervous about tomorrow's game?"

"We don't talk about it."

"It doesn't matter, I don't have other skills, but I am very good at making a very serious and nervous thing very easy."

"I know this. Didn't you perform this kind of drama when you were a freshman? The headmaster told us the heroic deeds of the firemen in the class, saying that a team member jumped down from the third floor with his baby in his arms, and the baby was unscathed, but the uncle's arm was broken into several pieces! You didn't listen to the principal's exclamatory sentence as an inquiry sentence, and then blindly followed the words "three paragraphs", which made the whole school laugh. You are very skilled ... "

"... when did your memory become so good? "

"It has always been. So I will never get 17 in history. "

"You! Go and see chemistry! "

Outside the window is the continuous rain in Shanghai in winter.

Suddenly caught a cold. Tightly wrapped around all the air in the room.

But in this ancient building, it is still full of warm heat.

Like a legendary teenager. Slowly spread the wings behind you.

You know, many years later, when I think back to the winter of 1997, I feel that you have become the Lu Zhiang of 1995 again. You are still the teenager who has never experienced tragedy and pain, and you will still show your gums and laugh happily. The nervousness of the day before the game really disappeared in the process of bickering with you. Sometimes I think it is really a happy thing to have you with me all my life, so I always thank God for letting you accompany me for so long. From children to teenagers to the complex world of adulthood, you have always been by my side, like a transparent young god who will never change because of the secular.

Thank you, whether you like to laugh or Lu Zhiang who likes to be silent.

-Fu Xiaosi in 2003

"Ah," Lu Zhiang suddenly jumped out of bed. "It's snowing!"

Fu Xiaosi took off the quilt and got up, climbed onto the windowsill and looked out against the window. "Really, does it snow in the south?"

Lu Zhiang also jumped up and sat on the windowsill.

Fu Xiaosi looked out in the thick night. Although the ground was still wet against the white light of street lamps, there was no snow like Asakawa's, but there were indeed large snowflakes in the chaotic rain in the air. Although it is not heavy snow, it is really heavy snow.

"Oh, it's rare," Lu Zhiang knocked irregularly on the glass with his finger. "It will snow in Shanghai. I think this should be a good sign. You will definitely win the first prize tomorrow. "

"Where is this? Completely irrelevant. " Although the tone is lukewarm, Fu Xiaosi's eyes looking at Lu Zhiang are full of thanks.

Lu Zhiang smiled happily. I was about to speak when I heard a scream in Chang Xia's room.

When Fu Xiaosi and Lu Zhiang unscrewed Chang Xia's unlocked door, Chang Xia jumped on the TV cabinet and shouted. Long Xia heard the door open, turned around and saw two big boys standing at the door. He stood on tiptoe on the TV cabinet, and his movements stopped instantly.

Fu Xiaosi looked "what the hell" with his mouth open, while Lu Zhiang leaned against the wall, clutching his stomach and laughing like he was dying.

"What are you doing," Fu Xiaosi stretched out his hand and pointed to the long summer, "come down. Why are you standing so high? "

"And ... and so loud," Lu Zhiang said with a smile. "It's like a girl being perverted."

"There are cockroaches!" Chang Xia looked at the ground, sure not, just a little embarrassed.

Fu Xiaosi pointed to Lu Zhiang and said, "You blame him. He booked a hotel. He has always said that this hotel is very good, and I suspect that the people in this hotel secretly gave him an agency fee. "

Lu Zhiang clasped his thumb and thumb together, extended his index finger, middle finger and ring finger upward, and made an oath, saying, "As God is my witness, this hotel is close to where you played. I am a good man."

Xiao Si said, "Why don't we stay with you for a while?"

Lu Zhiang took the message and said, "We also found Go in the room. Our company is very good at playing Go. He began to learn Go from primary school. Ask him to teach you. "

Long Xia opened his mouth in surprise. People who listen to rock music go from elementary school to college ... is this a joke? But looking at Fu Xiaosi's serious questioning expression doesn't feel like a joke.

"Nothing, you go back first." Chang Xia's face was a little red, too. He didn't dare to ask them to stay, otherwise it would be even more embarrassing.

Fu Xiaosi sighed, and Lu Zhiang put his hand on Fu Xiaosi's shoulder and hooked it. He smiled at Chang Xia and said, "Either, Xiao Si will sleep with you."

The door slammed and nearly hit Lu Zhiang's nose.

Fu Xiaosi looked at him and said, "Your cold joke can be a little colder. It doesn't matter. "

Lu Zhiang said: "I didn't tell a joke, but she thought of something that made the girl dare not say in her dreams."

Just then the door suddenly opened and a pillow hit Lu Zhiang directly on the head.

"Lu Zhiang here is the third floor! Talk nonsense again and I'll throw you down! Freeze to death if you don't die! " The roar of long summer came from the vicious closed door.

Lu Zhiang took the pillow and said with a smile, "She imitates me. Oh, ha, throw the pillow. "

Fu Xiaosi didn't intend to ignore him at all, and went back to his room in slippers.

Thick quilt. White clean sheets. Ceramic teacups. There is a wide windowsill where you can sit and look at the deep shadow of the buttonwood outside. Wood floor. Wooden doors and tables and chairs. Big wardrobe. Big dressing table. Everything is like those Shanghainese in the old Shanghai movies. When Changxia was tucked in the quilt, he thought, it's really a nice little hotel, as Lu Zhiang said, and the price is very cheap. I wonder how he found it. Come to think of it, he is no longer the big boy who relies on small companies for everything. On the contrary, he is helping this small company to do many things. It's amazing to think about this world.

I told you, they are all amazing species. Beauty, wisdom, humor, kindness and talent.

"It should be Pluto's people." Long summer want to.

Then I fell asleep. In my dream, Fu Xiaosi won the first prize. Woke up in the middle of the night, really shocked by the argument that "dreams are the opposite" I heard before, and I heard a lot of "bah" sounds.

From 1: 30 pm to 5: 30 pm, the game lasts for four hours. Because it is a live broadcast proposition, every candidate is very nervous. Small company is nothing, it is still a painting in school, adjusting the height of easel, cleaning paint, filling water and so on. Lu Zhiang and Chang Xia stood by and couldn't help. The local players in Shanghai around them are accompanied by their parents, dressing them for a while and pouring water for them for a while, making them look like a patrolling emperor.

"Cut."

"Sniff."

Lu Zhiang and Chang Xia vented their voices from their noses and were heard by Fu Xiaosi. He turned around and laughed and cried at the two people who laughed at him. He said, "Well, you two go outside. I'll call you when I'm done. "

"All right", Lu Zhiang nodded, turned and looked back at the other candidates before leaving, and "cut" again.

The school that entered the exam is a well-known girls' school in Shanghai and even the whole country. Outside the school, there are iron roses on the iron railings, large green spaces and churches. There are nuns in robes walking slowly in the school, and flocks of pigeons circling.

"It's so beautiful," Chang Xia looked at everything in the school. "You must be very happy to go to school here."

"I think it's boring to have classes with a group of nuns all day," Lu Zhiang became lively again at the moment. "The MM in Asakawa No.1 Middle School just corrected it." Say that finish also self-affirmation nodded, like very agree with your opinion.

Two people are sitting on a bench outside the school, in front of which is a four-lane road. There are many cars, pedestrians and cyclists. There are middle-aged men in suits and ties, women with shopping baskets, and many students in various uniforms ride bicycles to school. There are all kinds of noises in the ear, and the huge background sound is the light tone of Shanghai dialect.

Lu Zhiang got up and bought two bottles of green tea and some rice balls. Then they ate and chatted, and they didn't feel that time was hard.

Half past two.

The sun shone directly from the clouds. The bright light penetrated the thick snow-covered clouds last night.

It's a quarter past three.

A handsome boy is riding on the side of the road, and a lovely girl is humming.

Four twenty.

The light began to dim. Dusk spreads in the slightly moist air. People after work shuttle through this huge and busy city. There are many white spots in the air, which emerge like those old mildew spots in movies, but when you reach out and can't catch them, they firmly exist on the retina.

Half past five.

Fu Xiaosi walked out of the high-spirited candidates, deadpan, eyes still foggy. "I'm so hungry," he said to two people standing at the school gate with art supplies. "Let's go to eat."

Ordered a bowl of beef noodles. There are a lot of coriander floating on the thick noodle soup. Fu Xiaosi didn't eat it, so he put it all in Lu Zhiang's bowl. And get back some beef. You can't see his mood from his face, so you can't know the game. Lu Zhiang opened his mouth two or three times, but was forcefully blocked there, and finally swallowed the words back into his stomach.

"Well, that," said Chang Xia, "what did you draw for the final exam?" Uneasy tone, afraid of touching some sensitive nerves.

"Oh, competition," he said vaguely, because he was immersed in noodles, "is a proposition called" Scenery Never Appeared. " Fu Xiaosi looked up and couldn't see whether he was happy or sad.

"oh? Strange name. " Lu Zhiang knocked on the edge of the bowl with chopsticks and tinkled. "What did you draw? Did aliens bomb the earth? Or Sonic Boy vs. bread superman? "

"That's your territory, I can't reach it," Fu Xiaosi took a white Lu Zhiang. "I didn't draw anything, just a man and a woman." The second half sentence is for Chang Xia.

"A man and a woman ..." Long summer repeated in a low voice, also can't figure out what it's like. However, it seems that Xiao Si is not preoccupied, so he put a little snack.

"Originally, it was said that sketches or colors were ok, and there was no rigid requirement," Fu Xiaosi went on to say. "But I think I can draw quickly anyway, so I just choose the color."

Long Xia and Lu Zhiang just swallowed saliva, not everyone dared to say "I draw fast anyway".

"Ah, you know," Fu Xiaosi said suddenly in the gap between bowing his head and eating noodles. "Yan Mo and I are in an examination room today."

"Ah ... the girl who painted reed painting in the last session?" Lu Zhiang smiled. "Is it beautiful?"

Fu Xiaosi looked up and rolled his eyes.

"Er ... I mean," Lu Zhiang scratched his hair. "Really ... talented?"

But Fu Xiaosi wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

A year later, in Xiao Si's first painting collection, I saw for the first time his "scenery never seen before" in the competition. In the picture, a boy is standing in the snow, wearing a long black trench coat and his hair is slightly tilted. He looks up, his whole body is completely reflected in the pure white snow, and his foggy eyes have lost focus. In the heavy snow all over the sky, there is a vague outline of a girl in white, falling slightly from the sky, like an angel with white wings. The outline is not clear, but he has a pair of clear and bright eyes like stars. Two people kissed quietly in the heavy snow.

The world was silent at that moment. This is a landscape that has never appeared before, but it will always exist.

-1999 changxia

The next day, I went to the award ceremony. Many contestants, many painting predecessors, and many staff around me are busy, busy tuning, busy testing microphones, and busy sorting out the positions and name labels of guests.

After the small company three people went in, they found the last row of seats and sat down. They looked up and saw that there was a face in front of them, so they began to get nervous again. That feeling is really wonderful. The painter I have always liked suddenly appeared in front of me. Looking at their appearance and thinking of their photos, I feel as if I have been penetrated by many colors and solidified into a painting in my heart.

There are many people whispering, and there is a boy in front who has been very proud. It seems that the organizing Committee informed him last night that he was one of the first prizes and was naturally envied by many people around him.

Lu Zhiang couldn't help asking Xiao Si, "Did you get the call?"

Xiao Si said, "I didn't leave my mobile phone number. How can I have a phone?"

After that, the award ceremony began. The public address equipment is not very good. In addition, sitting in the last row, the sound is intermittently introduced into the eardrum, and many sentences are scattered in the air in confusion and complexity.

Fu Xiaosi has been holding hands, although don't see any tension on the face, thumb has been picking the palm, and very hard, the whole palm is a little red. Slight heat. Those hit the floor sentences are-

The level of this competition is very high, surpassing the first one.

From all over the country.

The performance of all age groups is extraordinary.

There are various artistic forms. It represents the highest level of artistic creation of the younger generation in China, which is also the goal expected by the organizing committee.

It was not until I heard the sentence "Fu Xiaosi won the first place in the third grade group" that I felt that the world broke through the darkness in an instant, the light shone on the dry land in an instant, the river bed gurgled with water, and reeds grew along the coast.

Thousands of birds suddenly flew over the blood-red sky.

-First place in Senior Three, Fu Xiaosi.

Xiao Si, watching you stand up from the last row and gracefully walk to the podium in people's envious eyes, I suddenly feel a little sad-you have left us who are still naive and ordinary, and rushed to the long future alone. I don't know why, I suddenly thought of Mars for no reason, the dark god who led people to break through the tragedy. Don't laugh at my childish ideas. I don't know why I am so sad at such a moment when I should be happy. I think, maybe under my mature appearance in the past two years, I am a naive heart after all. As naive and ridiculous as a little boy who will never grow up, he stays in the summer of sixteen.

I don't know what you and I will be like in the future What will we be like in ten or twenty years? I can't think of the answer. Slightly sad.

-1998 Lu Zhiang

?

The next day: a thousand years late.