Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Humorous stories from campus radio scripts for primary school students
Humorous stories from campus radio scripts for primary school students
1 A soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine during combat? The company commander was very angry: *, what can we do? If you step on it, you will be compensated according to the price. 2. It’s been a long time since I received your message. I’m very distressed. When I think about death, I cut my veins with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, jumped over the building with a parachute, and hung myself with noodles. But if I die, please treat me to a meal to support me to death. Forget it 3. If you feel your heart is broken, please call me! If you want to talk about love, please press 1, if you want to talk about work, please press 2, if you want to talk about life, please press 3, if you want to introduce someone to me, please press 5, if you want to ask me to eat, please say so, if you want to borrow money from me, please hang up. 4. A giraffe married a monkey. One year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I don’t want to live this kind of life anymore! The monkey was furious: Just leave! Who has ever seen someone climb a tree to get a kiss? 5. The fish said: "I keep my eyes open all the time so that I can't leave you." The water said: "I flow tirelessly all day long just to surround you and hold you tightly." The pot said: "Everything. It’s almost time to talk so much nonsense.” 6. Have you eaten? Please receive text message. The elephant defecated in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak and couldn't help but sing: Ya La Suo, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~ 7. You have grown up, and there are some things you should know: the sky is used to make wind and rain; the earth is used to grow flowers and grass; I am used to prove that human beings are How great; you are used to stew vermicelli. 8. When you check in at the railway station but don’t have any paper, don’t worry, the train will remind you: Wipe your pants, wipe your pants, wipe your pants! When you are playing tuba by the river but don’t have any paper, don’t worry, the frog will tell you: stick scrape, stick scrape, stick scrape! 9. Money can buy a house but not a home. It can buy marriage but not love. It can buy a clock but not time. Money is not everything, but the source of pain. Give me your money and let me Bear the pain alone! 10. God, it’s so blue! The sea is too salty! Life is so difficult! Work is so boring! I am destined to be with you! Miss you, sleepless! It’s too far to see you! Alas, what can I do? I miss you so much that I can’t eat with my chopsticks or swallow my bowl! 11. I give you the 12 zodiac signs. I wish you are as smart as a mouse, as strong as an ox, as bold as a tiger, as cute as a rabbit, as confident as a dragon, as charming as a snake, as romantic as a horse, as docile as a sheep, as naughty as a monkey, as beautiful as a chicken, and as loyal as a chicken. Like a dog, looks like a pig! 12. The chimpanzee accidentally stepped on the poop of the gibbon. The gibbon gently and carefully cleaned it and they fell in love. Others asked how they got together? The chimpanzee said with emotion: Ape dung! It’s all ape dung! 13. The lion and the bear defecated next to a tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his defecation was stronger than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes of life - lion poop is better than bear poop! 14. Think of a number in your mind, add 52.8 to it, multiply it by 5, then subtract 3.9343, divide it by 0.5, and finally subtract ten times the number in your mind. The answer is very romantic! 15. You keep farting loudly in the office, and your colleagues can’t help but ask you if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shaking and shaking, and asked you what you were doing. You replied that I had set it to vibrate! 16. Dear God, please bless those friends who do not call me, do not send me text messages, and do not miss me: May the Lord drop their mobile phones in the toilet, Amen! 17. Legend has it that you were so ruthless that you lay down across four seats in the theater. When someone asked you to get up, you just grunted and didn't move. The security guard came and said: My friend is ruthless, which street are you on? You gritted your teeth and said, "I fell down from the aisle upstairs!" 18. I miss you, think of you, find a painter to draw you, stick you in a cup, drink water and look at you all day long - are you happy? Pour a cup of boiling water and burn you to death! 19. Dear user, at this time we have deducted 20 yuan from your phone bill and dedicated it to the cause of Palestinian national liberation. For this reason, the Palestinian Autonomy *** has decided to award you the lofty title: Ben Shaleba in the name of the entire Arab world. base! 20. The beauty of knowledge lies in making people confused; the beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; the beauty of women lies in being so stupid that they have no regrets; the beauty of men lies in lying so that they can see ghosts in daylight.
21. I only care about you. What I care about is whether I care about you. I care about you as much as I care about you. I care about you as much as I care about you. Baby, I’m going to make you dizzy! 22. Have you heard of it? Five hundred times of looking back in the past life are only exchanged for one brush with each other in this life. For close friends like you and me, it seems that we didn’t do anything in our previous lives except to look back! 23. Two banknote counterfeiters accidentally made fake banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan. They decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they took a 15 yuan banknote and bought 1 yuan of candied haws, they cried. The farmer asked They got two new 7-dollar tortoise and hare. Since the hare lost to the tortoise, he was very angry. Once, he met the tortoise and asked to race with him. The tortoise agreed. The rabbit lost the first game. It turned out that he was too impatient and ran in the wrong direction. When he came to the end, the tortoise had already won, and the rabbit refused to admit defeat. In the second race, the hare found the right direction and ran. When he was about to reach the end, he wanted to see where the tortoise was, so he turned his head to look. When he saw that the tortoise was not there, he was secretly happy and thought: I will definitely win this time. Okay, who is the turtle? When he turned around, the turtle was already at the finish line. The rabbit was very strange and asked the tortoise: "How did you beat me?" The tortoise said to the rabbit: "I kept biting your tail, and when you turned your head, you threw me here!" The rabbit was angry: "No, no, the tortoise cheated!" In the last game, the hare was extra careful, for fear that the tortoise would take advantage of him again. When the hare was approaching the finish line, it looked like a tortoise in front of him from a distance. When he walked in, he saw that it was really a tortoise. Rabbit gave in. It asked the turtle: "Brother turtle, I give up, but you have to tell me, how did you defeat me?" The turtle said to him: "Brother rabbit, what age are we now? I came here by taxi!" Buying bread A little white rabbit happily went to the bakery and said: Uncle, do you have 100 buns? The uncle replied: Sorry, we don’t have that many. The next day, the little white rabbit came to the bakery again and said: Uncle, do you have 100 buns? The uncle replied: Sorry, we don’t have that many. On the third day, the little white rabbit came to the bakery again and said: Uncle, do you have 100 buns? The uncle replied: Great~! We worked overtime overnight and made 100 buns~~! The little white rabbit happily took out the money and said: Great, I want two! An American, a Japanese, and a Chinese are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all captured by the cannibal tribe. But the tribal chief said: "I am in a good mood today and I will not eat you, but you will all have to suffer a hundred blows, but before you get a blow, you can have a wish come true." The Americans were the first to suffer the blow. He said: "Before you get on the board, please give me a cushion first." After putting it on, the boards fell like raindrops; at first, 70 boards were okay, but after 70 boards, the cushions were smashed, and then the boards were bloody... After the fight, America Lao left with his hands full. After seeing this, the Japanese asked for 10 mattresses. After 1, 2, 3...100, the Japanese stood up, patted their ***, everything was fine; then they boasted about their ability to imitate and recreate, and wanted to sit back and watch the Chinese show. . The Chinese slowly lay down and said leisurely: "Here, put the Japanese on my bed."... Funny jokes, the longer one is a campus broadcast script, preferably 300~500 words. Please help. Me! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Number of views: 54 Reward points: 0 | There are 5 days and 18 hours left before the end of the question | Questioner: ホ Bangホ Bang 餹 123 Protect Mother Earth and purify the campus environment. As we all know, due to human beings’ excessive demands from nature, it has led to Nature's ruthless revenge: hurricanes, heavy rains, blizzards, floods, droughts, insect pests, intense heat, forest fires, earthquakes and other disasters come unexpectedly. The number of migratory refugees caused by drought and other reasons around the world is expected to reach 1 by 2025. billion people. The painful ecological lessons have attracted the attention of all countries around the world and all mankind. When the International Olympic Committee evaluation team inspected the cities bidding for the Olympic Games, the improvement of the ecological environment was listed as an important part. Our country attaches great importance to the environmental protection workbench, has introduced many policies and regulations to protect the environment, and carried out many environmental protection tasks and activities.
Our country also attaches great importance to environmental protection education. "Green School Creation Activity" is one of the important contents. Our school's environmental protection and greening work has achieved fruitful results. We often see many students picking up confetti in every corner of the campus; using their own hands to protect the beauty of the campus environment. However, we still have some shortcomings: there are still people littering with paper scraps and food bag waste; there are still people trampling on the lawn; in the green belt of the school, deep footprints are found from time to time, and some places even have Trail. Students, we are the masters of the 21st century, and environmental awareness is an important symbol of modern people. We should effectively establish a sense of responsibility for the times. Think about the world, focus on those around you, and stay on campus. Bend over more often to pick up peel and paper scraps. First of all, don't throw them everywhere; walk more steps and don't cross the green belt or trample on the green space. "Don't do good deeds because they are small, and don't do evil deeds because they are small." Start with me, start from a young age, start from around you, and start from now. Protect Mother Earth and purify the green campus. Let's make our campus more beautiful!
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