Looking for interesting English essays. Thank you.

English Jokes

1 A little boy asked his father: Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?The father replied: I don 't know son. I 'm still paying!! A little boy asked his father, how much does it cost to get married? Dad said: I don't know because I'm still paying the bills.

2 A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. "Now, children," said she, "has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?"

"Please, teacher," said a small boy, "I've made someone glad yesterday."

"Well done. Who was that?"

"My granny."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."

"Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, 'Granny, I'm going home,' and she said, 'Well, I'm glad'!"

A Sunday school (Christian church in order to instill religious ideas in children, A teacher in a Sunday children's class talks to students about the importance of making others happy. "Now, children," she said, "has any of you made anyone happy?"

"I, the teacher," said a little boy, "yesterday I made someone happy."

"Well done, who is it?"

"My grandma."

"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandma happy ”

“That’s right, teacher. I went to see her yesterday and stayed at her place for three hours. Then I said to her: ‘Grandma, I’m going home.

’ She said, ‘Ah, I’m so happy!

3 Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mother took them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

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The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her, "Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".

Dick is seven years old and his sister Catherine is five. One day, my mother took them to her aunt's house to play, and then she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour. At half past four, Auntie led Dick into the kitchen. She handed Dick a beautiful cake and a knife, and said to him: "Here, Dick, give you the knife, cut this cake in two, and give one piece to your sister. But you must remember to make it like Like a gentleman."

Dick asked: "Like a gentleman?"

His aunt replied immediately: "A gentleman always gives the big piece to others. "

Dick said "Oh." He thought about it for a while, then he took the cake to his sister and said to her: "Catherine, come and cut this cake in two."

4 Stan: I won 92 goldfish.

Fred: Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom.

Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?

Stan: Blindfold them!

Stan: I won 92 goldfish .

Fred: Where do you want to raise them?

Stan: Bathroom.

Fred: But what do you do when you want to take a shower?

Stan: Blindfold them!

5 George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When his friend's mother answered he asked, "can Albert come out to play?"

" No," said the mother, "it's too cold."

"Well, then," said George, "can his football come out to play?"

George knocked on the door of his friend's house. When the friend's mother answered the door, he asked, "Can Albert come out to play?"

"No," the mother said, "it's too cold."

“Oh, then,” Qiao Ye, “can his football come out to play?

Essential English daily phrases for going abroad

▲Potluck Party is a way to have a dinner together, prepared by the host Venue and tableware, attendees must bring a dish and prepare drinks, it is best to ask the host in advance

▲Pull over!

▲Drop. me a line!

▲Give me a ring. = Call me!

▲For here or to go?

▲cool; Thats cool! is equivalent to the commonly used saying among young people in China, "Cool!" ", it means not bad! It can be used for people or things.

▲Whats up? = Whats happening? = Whats new? A casual greeting when meeting, "What have you been busy with recently? What's new? "The general answer is "Nothing much!" or "Nothing new!"

▲Cut it out! = Knock it out! = Stop it! Stop doing this! It's a joke between classmates.

▲Dont give me a hard time!

▲Get yourself together!

▲Do you have the time? What time is it now?

▲Hang in there. = Dont give up. = Keep trying.

▲Give. me a break! Please spare me! (Just kidding)