German customs

German custom: the way of choosing a spouse in Germany

Today, young men and women in Germany have all kinds of opportunities to get in touch. They were introduced by relatives, friends, classmates and colleagues, or met in cultural activities such as dances and trips, and then decided to get married after a period of love. They enjoy full freedom of love, which is no different from modern western countries. However, in terms of mate selection, Germany has some interesting customs.

1. Old oak tree

In Bridgelam, there is a famous old oak tree in Dudao Forest. People call it "Old Oak Moon". There is a beautiful legend about this old oak tree. Legend has it that more than 600 years ago, a prince was in distress in an encounter with the enemy and was saved by a beautiful girl. The prince and the girl fell in love at first sight and got married. In order to repay the girl for saving her life, the prince planted this oak tree in the forest. Later generations envy the prince's adventure and come here to watch it in succession, hoping to know the right person skillfully. There are indeed some men and women who send love waves through oak trees and hold weddings under trees. Over time, the old oak tree played the role of "elder". Every day, a love letter with the words "D-2420, Bridgegram Oak District, Doudao Forest" is dropped into the hole of the old oak by the postman. These letters are public and everyone can open them. Young men and women waiting around "Yue Lao" read them to find their Mr Right. If you find a soul mate, you can communicate and make an appointment to meet. It is said that more than 5000 young men and women got married through oak trees. Now the story of the old oak tree is spreading farther and farther, so that young people in other countries send love letters to the old oak tree in order to find a spouse. There are as many as 800 such love letters every year.

2. Chess is for life.

In the southwest of Berlin, there is a small town called Hichobeck. For hundreds of years, people here have been very keen on chess activities, and even the hat badge of the police on duty has been designed as a chessboard pattern, and a chessboard has been installed on the spire of the church to indicate the wind direction. When people get up in the morning, they can see local officials carrying official documents to work on their chessboards. People here have learned to play chess since childhood, and the school has a "chess class" to help children learn to play chess since childhood. It is precisely because of this chess custom that when a girl chooses a spouse, the level of the man's chess skill becomes the main condition. A young man must compete with the girl's father before proposing to her. If the young man wins, he will be warmly treated by the girl's family, and his marriage will be guaranteed; I'm sorry if the young people lose, but marriage will wait until the chess skills improve.

3. Birch trees send affection

In Bonn, Germany, the young man expressed his affection for his beloved girl by giving away the white duster tree as a poetic form. Every year in the spring season, the young man will cut down a small birch tree with tender branches and leaves at midnight on April 30 or May 1 and put it on the balcony or yard of his aunt's house to express his deep love through the small green tree. In this season, small white willows can be seen on the streets, courtyards and balconies in Bonn. Some beautiful girls will plant several birch trees in the yard at the same time. In this case, the girl will be overjoyed, while the boy who sent the birch tree can only wait patiently for the girl's reply, not rush it. Once the girl's approval is obtained, the young man can give her another gem ring, and the girl will thank her by kissing and accept the proposal ring. After a while, the two sides were convinced that they loved each other and gave each other silver rings to show their engagement. Giving each other gold rings when they get married shows that their love is as pure as gold.

4. Movie mate selection

In Germany, the marriage management department helps young people solve their marriage problems in various ways, one of which is to help some "unmarried" girls solve their marriage problems in the form of movie advertisements. Girls can fully display their talents in all aspects in the film, especially in cooking, sewing, cleaning the room and other domestic specialties. A very ordinary girl, through the superb treatment of photographers and directors, is often a very lovely and perfect girl. These films are taken to the Lonely Heart Association, which is composed of lonely men and several women. Single men can choose their beloved spouses from the films. Good movies often leave a good first impression, but many people feel that they are not as ideal as the characters in the movies after seeing the real people.

German custom: German-born custom.

The annual birth rate in Germany is always the lowest in the world, and the post-war population growth mainly depends on immigrants. In such a country with a low birth rate, it is really a big deal for a family to import more children. In fact, as early as when a woman is pregnant, she will be protected in all aspects. There are many customs and habits to protect the health of pregnant women and the healthy growth of the fetus. In rural areas of Wü rttemberg, Germany, pregnant women are very respected guests. She can go into other people's orchards to pick fruits and taste them, and she can eat at the next table. People there think that the arrival of pregnant women symbolizes new life and bumper harvest. There are also some customs: pregnant women should not go out at night for fear that witches and ghosts in the dark will harm the fetus; Pregnant women can't look at ugly things, for fear that the baby will grow ugly in the future; Pregnant women can't walk through the cross door or under the clothesline, otherwise it will cause dystocia and hurt the fetus. Although these customs are full of feudal superstitions, we can also see people's concern for pregnant women. In Germany, which is dominated by Christianity, parents have found a godfather godmother for the newborn before he was born. As soon as the child was born, the family made an appointment with the church to have the child baptized by the priest or priest.

Godfather and godmother

In Germany, parents of newborns will look for godparents among relatives and friends long before their children are born. Because the godfather godmother is closely related to the child's life, the baby's parents are very cautious in their choice. Parents of children don't have to choose a couple when choosing a godfather and godmother for their children, but they should be honest, reliable, respected and reputable. Of course, you have to get your own consent first. Generally, people who are invited to be godfathers and godmothers of their children will think that this is a trust in themselves and an honor, and they are willing to take this responsibility. The original intention of recognizing the godfather godmother is to help children in their religious beliefs. Nowadays, the responsibility of the godfather godmother is not limited to religion. They can let a child be born with many elders who care about his growth and take care of him when he is in trouble. If both parents die young when the child is underage, the godfather and godmother must bear the obligation to bring him up.

(2) Neonatal baptism

Baptism is an important ceremony when accepting Christianity. Christianity believes that people who are born guilty must be baptized to remove dirt and become pure before they can be accepted as Christians and qualified to enter heaven. People who are baptized are not necessarily babies. As an adult, Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist. But in Christian countries, most people are baptized by their parents in infancy. The formal naming and baptism of babies are carried out at the same time, so baptism is also called "naming ceremony". After the baby's parents set a date in the church, they will send invitations to invite relatives and friends to attend. Generally, only close friends are invited, and the number will not be too large. When the baby was baptized, the godmother held it and stood beside the "holy basin" in front of the altar in the church. Parents and others of the children gathered around, and the priest or priest read the relevant chapters in the Bible, recited the prescribed etiquette, took the child with him, dipped his hand in holy water and dropped it on his head, saying, "I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit." Then, say a few more words to wish the children love mankind and serve God when they grow up, and the baptism will be over. After the baptism, it is natural to celebrate. Babies' parents will hold luncheons or tea parties, and invite priests or priests, children's godparents, relatives and friends to attend. The invitee should bring some gifts to the children, such as toys, clothes, children's picture books and so on. Godfather's godmother's gift is more expensive as usual. In Bavaria, on the day of baptism, the godfather not only wears rosemary on his chest, but also puts rosemary in the baby's cradle. Accordingly, this fragrant herb can ward off diseases and evil spirits, and the godfather uses it to express his love. At the same time, he will put some money in his godson's diaper or pillow as the principal of his child's future marriage. Some godfathers send books and pens to their children, hoping that they will be smart and diligent. Nowadays, the popular gift is to give a boy a small silver beer cup and a girl a necklace or a silver coffee cup engraved with the child's name and the date of baptism. In rural Bavaria, there is a child's habit of baptizing dinner, that is, there should be leftover bread on the table after dinner, and some food should be packed for guests to take away after dinner. It is more than enough to bring sausages and spirits to male guests, cakes and sweets to female guests and gifts to godfather to show that life is rich. In Germany, candles for baptism should be carefully collected, which is of special significance to children's life. It is said that lighting the baptism candle can turn evil into good and eliminate all diseases. In some rural areas of Germany, this ancient custom is still religiously followed. In Germany, women can get a year's leave after giving birth, but they can take time off by themselves, or both husband and wife can take time off for six months, so that they can share the responsibility of raising children.

German customs and habits: German dying comfort and funeral arrangements

In the Rhine region of Germany, there is still an ancient custom handed down from the Middle Ages: drinking deathbed wine. When a person is dying, he must take a sip of old wine. It is said that this wine is holy wine, which can awaken the dead, dispel the evocation demons around the hospital bed, and let the dying people get peace. Before a person dies, his family members will light the baptism candle, the Eucharist candle and the holy light candle, and at the same time light a big red candle and put it beside the deceased. First, they will bless the dead by candlelight. The second is to illuminate the road to heaven for the dead.

In German folklore, the mirror is regarded as the tool of the devil and the hiding place of death. The devil uses the reflection ability of the mirror to disturb people. Therefore, people should cover the mirror with cloth before they die, so that the deceased can get rid of earthly sins peacefully and ascend to the western paradise. In the mountains of southern Germany, when people die, their families have to open the windows and uncover the bricks on the roof. The purpose of doing this is to open a passage to another world for the dead, because they believe that people will live in another world after leaving the mortal world. Through these dying comforts, people can let the dead leave peacefully.

funeral

In western Christian countries, funerals are usually held in churches. If someone in the family dies, we must first agree with the church on the date of the funeral and inform our relatives and friends in an appropriate way. In addition, the body should be washed with clean water, which they think has infinite power. It can purify people's body, mind and soul and drive away evil spirits. When people come to the world to be baptized, they have to wash their bodies and wash away all the evils in the world when they leave the world.

On the day of the church funeral, relatives and friends came to the church one after another with flowers or wreaths. First of all, the priest or priest presides over the memorial service, and the people attending the funeral sing hymns, play funeral music, pray and read out the life of the deceased provided by the funeral home according to the prior arrangement. The church funeral is only the first half of the whole funeral, and the second half is held in the cemetery. Only family members, close relatives and close friends of the deceased attended. -friends can leave after attending the church funeral without going to the cemetery. In Germany, burial is the main funeral, and relatives and friends watch the coffin buried in a pre-designated grave. People gathered around the tomb to pray for the dead, hoping that he would rest in peace and his soul would ascend to heaven. When invited to the funeral of relatives and friends, the only gift that can be given is flowers. You can send bunches of flowers or wreaths made of flowers (Germans don't use paper flowers to make wreaths). Write the names of the dead and mourners and the inscriptions "Rest in Peace" and "Farewell" on the ribbon of the flower.

In Germany (even the whole western countries), the most important thing to pay attention to when attending a funeral is to wear black clothes as much as possible. A man should wear a black tie without flowers. If there are no black clothes, they should wear dark clothes and avoid bright clothes. At the same time, we should keep solemn and quiet at the funeral, and never make noise or laugh loudly, otherwise it will be regarded as disrespectful to the funeral, and at the same time it will show our lack of education. The whole funeral was immersed in a solemn atmosphere from beginning to end, and there were no scenes of beating one's chest, wailing on pottery and crying. Except for the quiet sobs, most people were meditating and silently seeing the dead off. Contrary to people's solemn expressions and dim clothes, Deyu's cemetery is full of colorful flowers. The cemetery is surrounded by lush trees, mainly evergreen pine and cypress. In the warm season, a hundred flowers blossom, and flowers not only represent people's memory of the dead, but also comfort the living. Whenever people think of the dead, they will go to the cemetery to sweep graves, offer flowers, stay quietly for a while and express their grief.

After the funeral, there is still a period of mourning. Although the requirements in this respect have not been so strict in recent years, as a newly widowed woman, it is inevitable that she will not be criticized for dressing up and socializing frequently after her husband's death. Generally speaking, women who have just lost their spouses are required to wear simple and elegant colors. Except for small parties, you are not allowed to participate in dances, banquets and large-scale entertainment activities with lively scenes. Relatives and friends should also pay attention not to invite her to the festive party and live a quiet life in mourning. Men with value-added couples are not as strict as widows, but they are also required to dress appropriately for a certain period of time and avoid attending parties and socializing.

It is very important for people who go to Germany to study, work or travel to know and understand German customs. If you don't know anything in advance, you will inevitably make a joke or bring inconvenience to yourself. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. This is the truth. But how can we get along? This needs to be understood in advance.

* Be disciplined and tidy *

Germans attach great importance to rules and discipline and take everything very seriously. Where there are express provisions, Germans will consciously abide by them; Germans will never touch anything that is forbidden. In the eyes of some people, many times, Germans are almost inflexible, inflexible and even a little unreasonable. But when you think about it, this "inflexibility" is very beneficial. How can there be order without discipline? No rules, no decency?

Germans attach great importance to cleanliness. They not only pay attention to keeping their small environment clean and tidy, but also attach great importance to keeping the big environment clean and tidy. In Germany, everything is clean and tidy in parks, streets, theaters and other public places. Germans also attach great importance to clothing. Wear work clothes to work. Although you can dress casually when you come home from work, you will definitely dress neatly as long as there are guests visiting or going out for activities. When watching a drama or opera, women should wear long skirts, and men should wear formal clothes, at least dark clothes. This is especially true when attending social activities or formal banquets.

* Punctuality loves silence *

Germans are punctual, make appointments, and never change easily without special circumstances. When Germans are invited to other people's homes or go out to visit friends, they will arrive on time, and will not let the host waste time waiting or have to entertain guests in advance. Otherwise, it is impolite. If you can't keep the appointment on time for special reasons, you will apologize to your friends and ask for forgiveness.

Germans prefer quiet life, but they don't like noise except on special occasions. For example, although many people work in cities, they live in rural areas or small towns near cities, in order to be quiet. Even those who live in cities pay great attention to the noise around their houses. For example, you can't play musical instruments from 8 pm to 8 am the next day, and you can't talk loudly. If you want to get together at night, you should explain the situation to your neighbors in advance, ask them to understand, try to arrange it on weekends and try not to make noise. Otherwise, the disturbed neighbors will be very angry and may protest in person, and some people may even ask the police to intervene.

* Treat people sincerely and pay attention to etiquette *

Generally speaking, there is not much trouble in dealing with Germans. In most cases, they just. No matter what they can do, they will tell you at once that it can be done. Whatever they can't do, they will definitely tell you "no", rarely put on airs or give ambiguous answers. Of course, interpersonal relationships and efforts are by no means without influence.

Like many western countries, Germans pay more attention to etiquette. When we meet, whether we know each other or not, whether we are on the road, or in offices, hotels, elevators and other places, we all say hello to each other and say "hello". When eating in a restaurant, you should also nod to the customers who have already sat down. It is really "courtesy to politeness, courtesy to many people". Friends shake hands to greet each other, and so do they when they say goodbye. Good friends I haven't seen for a long time can hug each other when they meet or leave for a long time. On formal occasions, men still kiss women's hands, but they don't have to kiss the back of their hands. In the process of communication, most people often use "you" and surname beginning with "Mr" or "Ms" (also called "Mrs") as honorifics. Only friends, relatives and young people call each other "you" and names. For women, regardless of marriage and age, they can be called "Ms. XXX", but for married women, they should be called by their husband's surname.

Gifts are also highly valued in Germany. When invited to other people's homes, they usually bring gifts. Most people bring flowers, some male guests bring a bottle of wine, and some people bring a meaningful book (or a book written by themselves) or a picture album. Send more flowers when welcoming guests (such as stations and airports) and visiting patients. When congratulating others on their birthdays, festivals or weddings, you can send cards. If you give a gift, you should take practicality and significance as the principle, not the price. Gifts should be wrapped in gift paper in advance. Many people will open the gift immediately after receiving it and express their gratitude to the giver.

In Germany and other western countries, women are given priority in many occasions such as entering the door, getting into the elevator and getting on the bus. Men should help women open the car door, hang up their clothes and give up their seats. The lady only said "thank you" for this, and she didn't feel embarrassed, nor did she think that the other party was up to no good. Germans pay great attention to respect each other when talking with others. Don't ask other people's private affairs (such as female age, income, etc.). ) and don't make fun of the people present. When talking, don't talk to people sitting far away from the table, for fear of affecting others' emotions.