Do you have any funnier jokes?

Students are required to dictate an ancient poem by Lu You titled "Wo Chun".

The Chinese teacher read the following and a student dictated the following

"Wouchun" | "I am stupid"

The dark plum blossoms smell the flowers, | I have no education< /p>

I am lying on a branch with deep sorrow, | My IQ is very low,

I hear from a distance that I am lying like water, | If you want to ask me who I am,

Yi Tou Da Spring Green . | A big stupid donkey.

The shore looks green, | I am a donkey,

The shore looks green, | I am a donkey,

The shore looks green. | I'm a stupid donkey

One day in class, the teacher was teaching how much four times four equals, but Xiaomeng didn't even listen!

The teacher said angrily: "Let me ask you, what is four times four?"

Xiaomeng replied: "I...I don't know."

< p>"Go home and ask your parents!" The teacher severely criticized Xiao Meng.

After school, Xiaomeng came home and asked her mother (Ott’s mother): “Mom, what is four times four?”

My mother didn’t hear it and said: “ Make a bowl of rice."

Xiaomeng then asked his father (Ott's father): "Dad, how much is four times four?"

Dad just woke up. Said: "It's so comfortable!"

Xiaomeng went to ask his brother, who happened to be answering the phone and said: "You made me mad!"

The next day, Xiao Meng goes to school. The teacher asked him the same question as yesterday, and Xiaomeng said: "Cook a bowl of rice."

The teacher hit him with a cane, and Xiaomeng said: "It feels so comfortable!"

Teacher Dragging him outside and forcing him to stand, Xiao Meng said: "You made me mad!"

One day, the teacher walked into the classroom, and the students stood up and shouted: "Good morning, teacher!" The teacher angrily said Said: "Why only say good morning? What about me in the afternoon? Isn't it bad?" So the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher!" The teacher said angrily: "What about me in the evening?" The students They shouted again: "Teacher, good morning, good afternoon, and evening!" The teacher nodded and said, "That's enough, let's shout it again!" The students shouted together: "Teacher, good morning, good afternoon, and good evening!" The teacher said, "Sit down. Next! Today we are going to review antonyms. We will practice like this. Let me say something and you will say the antonyms loudly. "Teacher: "The weather is very good today."

: "The weather is very bad today."

Teacher: "The sun is shining everywhere."

Student: "It is cloudy everywhere."

Teacher: "On the road There are a lot of people.”

The street is empty.

Teacher: “Young.”

Student: “Old.”

Teacher: "Stand."

Student: "Lie down"

Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road."

Student: "There was a young man lying down on the road."

Teacher: "I picked up a dollar."

Student: "I lost a dollar."

< p>Teacher: "I picked up one yuan and gave it to the teacher."

Student: "I lost one yuan and stole it from the teacher."

Teacher: "Wrong, you can't Say it like this!”

Student: “That’s right!”

Teacher: “Wrong”

Student: “That’s right.”

Teacher: "This is not okay, this is illegal!"

Student: "This is okay, this is legal!"

Teacher: "I said it was wrong."

Students: "What we say is correct."

Teacher: "Listen to the teacher, what the teacher says is correct!"

Students: "Listen to us , what the teacher said is wrong!”

Teacher: “You are stupid”

Student: “We are smart.

"

Teacher: "Stop! ”

Student: “Continue!” ”

Teacher: “Stop now!” Stop talking! ”

Student: “Let’s continue now! More to say! ”

Teacher: “You stupid pigs, I say stop!”

Student: "We are all geniuses, we say continue!"

Teacher: "You listen to the teacher!"

Student: "Teacher listen to us !”

Teacher: “Students must listen to teachers!”

Students: “Teachers must listen to students!”

Teacher: “Now you Stop practicing!"

Student: "Let's continue practicing!"

Teacher: "Are you done?"

Student: "We have a beginning and an end." Yeah!"

Teacher: "Stop it! Stupid pig!"

Student: "Then we should continue!"

. . . . . The teacher panted and walked out of the classroom holding the handout.

A colleague went on a business trip to other places. The local colleagues were very hospitable and held a banquet in a private room of a special hotel that night. More than a dozen men and women chatted non-stop after they sat down, and only one person was ordering food. After ordering, everyone is asked for their opinions: "The dishes are ordered, is there anything you want to add?" In this case, we in Beijing usually ask the lady to tell the names of the dishes that have been ordered. So a friend from Beijing said: "Miss, please report me."

The lady glanced at him but made no move.

"Miss, please report me!" The brother was a little anxious.

The lady’s face turned red, but she still didn’t move.

"What's the matter? I want you to report that you didn't hear me?" My brother is really anxious.

A female colleague quickly smoothed things over: "Miss, please report everyone one by one, ah."

The lady mumbled and asked: "Then, then... just hug the girl "Yes, can you not hug a man?"

"Pfft!" A female colleague next to me sprayed a big sip of tea on the person in front of me. More than a dozen people laughed together, and the lady was even more at a loss.

It’s time to serve. Let’s serve the mixed noodles first. A large plate of rapi was served, followed by several plates of toppings, sauces and the like. The lady was not paying attention when serving the food, and a drop of sauce spilled on a buddy's pants. The buddy also deliberately teased Mengzi, pretending to be gloomy and asked the lady: "What should I do?"

The lady said calmly: "Whatever you do will do."

"Then what do you say we should do?"

"You can do whatever you want?"

"Then what do you usually do here?"

"How about I help you do it?"

"Okay."

I saw the lady quickly pouring several plates of ingredients and sauces onto the lapier. Take the chopsticks in one hand and the spoon in the other, brush it a few times and mix it. Then he said to the guy: "Sir, it's mixed and ready to eat."

The guy stared at the plate and didn't say anything for a long time. Another colleague spoke to the lady for him. Said "thank you".

The main course is served - roasted lamb leg, a large plate of meat bones, and a plate of salt and pepper. A fellow from Beijing loved this dish so much that he grabbed a leg of lamb without any ceremony, took a bite, and started eating it. When the young lady saw it, she said:

"Sir, this should be eaten with dipping."

The buddy looked at the lady doubtfully, and then at his local colleagues. A local colleague said: "It tastes better when dipped in it." So the buddy stood up with the leg of lamb and took another bite.

The lady hurried over and asked: "Sir, do you need anything?"

"Ah? No."

"Please sit down and eat ."

The buddy murmured and sat down, looking at everyone in a daze. Carefully, he brought the leg of lamb to his mouth and carefully took a bite.

The lady said again: "Sir, you have to eat this with dipping."

The man stood up suddenly, waved the leg of lamb and shouted angrily: "We have to stand again." You have to sit down to eat, how can you eat?”

The table is full of food and wine, and the leader stumbles over.

The whole audience stood up to greet him, and there was a roar of greetings.

The lady serving the banquet next to me is very beautiful. She is new, inexperienced and a little nervous.

Everyone sat down, and someone called out: "Miss, tea!"

The lady hurriedly approached and pointed with her finger: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, ** *Seven!"

Everyone laughed, and the leader added: "Pour the tea!"

The lady checked again: "7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, or seven."

Someone asked: "What are you counting?"

The lady hesitated and replied softly: "I am a dog."< /p>

Everyone was angry and shouted: "Call your manager!" The manager came in, lowered his hands and sneered, and asked: "Everyone, what do you want to tell me?"

The leader said: "Don't ask too many questions. , go check the age and zodiac sign of this young lady."

The manager was puzzled, and he followed the order and replied: "18 years old, she is a dog!"

The leader laughed, and everyone laughed. laugh. The leaders are too generous to hold people accountable, but the general public is too generous to hold them accountable.

The lady and manager seemed to be in a cloud.

After thirty years of drinking, a dish was served: "Stewed Bastard!"

Everyone was happy, but they did not forget the rules. Someone poked Bastard's head with chopsticks and said, "Brother, move!" Leader, move!" The leader looked at the trembling turtle's head and felt displeased. He didn't want to mess up the meaning of his words and didn't want to violate everyone's wishes, so he drank the soup with a spoon and said, "Okay. Okay! Please feel free to do so.”

Someone said, “Yes, you should drink soup!” The leader was so angry that he almost spit out his rice.

Not long after, when the soup was almost gone, something round appeared and asked: "Miss, what is this?"

The lady hurriedly replied: "It's a bastard." Surprise: "The leader eats first, the leader eats first!"

This leader did not hear the "unlucky" words, he was very happy, and called the lady: "Give everyone a share!"

For a long time, the lady didn't move, and the leader asked angrily: "Why, can't you tell the difference?"

The lady said in embarrassment: "Seven people, six bastards, how do you want me to separate them?" "

After everyone heard this, they all stretched their necks and stared. Their mouths were full of delicious food and it was difficult to swallow. `

A 70-year-old aunt drove a car slowly on the provincial highway carrying three aunt-level elderly people.

The traffic police stopped her and said: "Aunt, you drive so slowly, it will affect the traffic."

The aunt who was driving said: "Isn't that sign saying 20? "

The traffic police said: "That's Route 20!"

The aunt who was driving said: "Oh! That's Route 20, not the speed limit! "

The traffic police officer said: "Yeah, hey, why are the other three aunts behind you looking so ugly?"

The driving aunt replied: "We just left on Route 245. Come here!”

Teacher: “The composition you write is mostly in white.”

Student: “Teacher, I write in vernacular.”

The teacher said to a student who had just woken up from sleep: "I lectured loudly on purpose, but you fell asleep on purpose."

"I slept on purpose, but you made noise on purpose." The student replied.