Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Are there any celebrity allusions of about 20 words?
Are there any celebrity allusions of about 20 words?
Mr. Lu Xun studied hard since he was a child. When I was a teenager, I attended Jiangnan Naval Academy and got excellent results in the first semester. This school won a gold medal. He immediately took it to the street of Nanjing Gulou and sold it. Then he bought some books and a bunch of red peppers. Whenever it's cold at night and he can't stand reading at night, he picks a pepper and chews it in his mouth, making his forehead sweat. In this way, he insisted on studying. After studying hard, he finally became a famous writer in China.
Wang Yanan studied hard to become a success.
Wang Yanan sleeps in a three-legged bed. When Wang Yanan was a child, he was ambitious and loved reading. When he was in middle school, in order to gain more time to study, he deliberately sawed off one foot of his wooden bed and turned it into a three-legged bed. I read until late at night every day. I went to bed when I was tired, and then I turned over in a daze. The bed leans in the direction of short feet. He woke up suddenly, got out of bed at once and read at night. Every day, without interruption. As a result, he achieved excellent results every year and was regarded as one of the three outstanding figures in his class. Because he studied hard as a teenager, he eventually became an outstanding economist in China.
◎ Su Dongpo, one of the eight masters in Tang and Song Dynasties, thought that he had no books to read when he was young, so he wrote a book: "I know all the words in the world; Read all the books on the earth. " After an old man pointed out it, he changed it to: "Make great efforts to govern and know all the people in the world; Determined to read all the books on earth. "
◎ Guo Moruo once wrote a pair of reading couplets: "Reading is not in the middle of the night and five drums, but it is cold in ten miles." This means that you should study hard at ordinary times and not work overtime on a whim. If you want to succeed, you must persevere, never be diligent and slack, and fish for three days and dry the net for two days.
◎ Hua attributed the reading process to two stages: from thick to thin and from thin to thick. When you really have a thorough understanding of the content of the book, grasp the main points of the book, and master the spiritual essence of the book, reading will change from thick to thin, and the more you read, the more you feel thin. If in the process of reading, you discuss each chapter in depth, add notes on each page and supplement the reference materials, then the book will become thicker and thicker. So reading is a two-way process from thick to thin and from thin to thick.
Hou copied the book.
Hou, the master of crosstalk language, only attended primary school for three years. Because he is diligent and studious, his artistic level has reached a perfect level and he has become a famous language expert. On one occasion, in order to buy the joke book "The Waves" of Amin Dynasty that he wanted to buy, he went to all the second-hand book stalls in Beijing but failed to buy it. Later, he learned that Beijing Library had this book, so he decided to copy it back. In winter, he braved the heavy wind and snow and ran to the library to copy books for 18 days in a row. A book of more than 100,000 words was finally copied by him.
Zhang Guanghou eats books.
Mathematician Zhang Guanghou once saw a paper about deficient value, and thought it was very useful for his research work, so he read it again and again. This paper has more than 20 pages, and he has read it repeatedly for more than half a year. Because of repeated groping, clear black marks were left on the white pages. His wife joked with him that it was not reading, but eating books.
Gorky kept the book.
Gorky, a world writer, has a deep affection for books and loves them like life. Once, his room caught fire. The first thing he picked up was a book, and nothing else was considered. He almost burned to death to save the book. He said: "Books enlighten my wisdom and soul and help me stand up in the muddy pond. If it weren't for books, I would sink in this muddy pond, and I would be drowned by stupidity and filth. "
Take my heart back to my motherland.
Chopin 19 was already famous when he graduated from the Conservatory of Music. Later, he went abroad for further study. At the farewell party, friends gave him a silver bottle filled with the soil of the motherland. This silver bottle has been with him 19 years. /kloc-in the autumn of 0/849, Chopin was seriously ill and dying. He told his sister who came from Warsaw: "The reactionary Polish government will not allow my body to be transported back to Warsaw, but will bring my soul back to the motherland."
Wu upholds national dignity.
Wu, an old revolutionary, went to Japan to study when he was young. 1On New Year's Day in 904, due to the poverty and weakness of China in the late Qing Dynasty, the Japanese Empire looked down on China and deliberately did not fly the China flag among all the flags. In order to safeguard the dignity of the country and the nation, Wu stepped forward and solemnly proposed to the school on behalf of the students studying in China that they must apologize to the Japanese students immediately and correct their mistakes, otherwise they would hold a strike and hunger strike.
Wen Tianxiang would rather die than surrender.
Wen Tianxiang, a national hero in the Southern Song Dynasty, was defeated and captured, and spent three years in a dungeon, repeatedly refusing to discuss with the enemy. One day, Kublai Khan personally persuaded him to surrender, and Xu served as prime minister. He did not waver, but said firmly, "I just want to die for my country."
Chen Tianhua sent a bloody book from afar.
When Chen Tianhua, a revolutionary, was studying in Japan, he heard that the Russian army invaded Manchuria, and the corrupt and incompetent Qing government wanted to sign a private treaty with Russia, humiliating the country. Deeply saddened, he immediately held an anti-Russian meeting among international students, organized volunteers to exclude Russia, and prepared to return to China to participate in the war.
After returning to the dormitory, he bit his finger, wrote a bloody book of saving the country with his bloody finger, and stated the tragedy of national subjugation in the bloody book. When the suffering of the conquered nation inspired his compatriots to fight ... he wrote dozens of articles in a row and finally fainted because of excessive blood loss, but his mouth was still salty: "save the country!" Save the country! "
Andersen broke up with his old friend.
Andersen, a famous Danish fairy tale writer, and Augustinburg, Germany turned out to be good old friends.
1848 Prussia invaded Denmark, which caused great anger of Andersen. Four years later, he went to Germany. Many German friends rushed to the station to meet him. A friend said, "The Duke and Duchess of Augustburg are waiting for you at home. I hope you can meet them. " "I don't want to see them. Four years ago, Augustinburg participated in Prussia's invasion of Denmark. How can I meet this family? " Andersen said angrily. From then on, two old friends broke up.
Li Shizhen stayed in the ancient temple all night, eating dry food, drinking spring water and tasting herbs until the evening.
During the period of China, there was a man named Su Qin. Because he couldn't get an official position in the State of Qin, he was looked down upon by his family after returning home, so he studied the art of war books such as Six Towers and Yin Fu day and night. Whenever I feel dizzy and sleepy in the dead of night, I stab myself in the thigh with an awl to wake myself up and read again.
Wen Yiduo loves reading. On his wedding day, all the sedan chairs arrived, but he couldn't find the groom. It turned out that he was in the study with a book in his hand.
Lenin was a child who studied hard when he was a child.
Lenin did well in every subject at school. The teacher gave a lecture and he listened carefully. He did the homework left by the teacher carefully.
Lenin finished his studies and read many extracurricular books. He often tells stories in books to others. He loves the hardworking and brave people in the book and follows their example.
Lenin took great care of books. He never gets his books dirty or litters them.
This is how Lenin studied when he was a child.
2.funny Rola Chen
In the early days of the People's Republic of China, Chen Yi was the mayor of Shanghai. I once gave a speech to a business person. There were precious flowers and exquisite tea sets on the podium. As soon as Chen Yi came to power, he said, "I am easily excited when I speak, and I easily dance when I am excited. If these things on the lecture table are damaged by me, the mayor of my supply system really can't afford to pay for them. Therefore, it is best to get rid of these things first when requesting the support of the host of the conference. " The participants immediately gave a relaxed laugh.
At a meeting in the 1960s, Chen Yi shouted loudly for the implementation of the intellectual policy: "You can't put the hat of bourgeois intellectuals who have been reformed and tested for decades on all intellectuals!" Speaking of this, Chen Yi took off his hat, bowed to the delegates attending the meeting, and then said loudly: "Today, I took off my hat for you!" This sincere feeling and just right sense of humor moved the participants.
Most of Chen Yi's speeches don't have to be written. However, he is eloquent, and Kan Kan also talked about this point, often convincing the audience with clever and interesting words. At a meeting, someone saw him holding a manuscript paper and looked down from time to time, only to find that it was a blank piece of paper. "Manager Chen, how can you use a blank speech?" He was asked after the meeting. He replied, "I don't need a manuscript. People will say I'm not serious and talk nonsense."
Premier Zhou's simple living
Premier Zhou Enlai lives in the West Flower Hall of Zhongnanhai and leads a simple life. This can be seen from the house and yard where he lives. He has not been allowed to decorate and renovate his house and yard since he moved in.
In the early 1960s, the staff around Zhou Enlai took advantage of Premier's overseas visit to protect and strengthen the building. They only did some simple interior decoration and replaced curtains, washbasins and bathtubs. Zhou Enlai was very angry when he came home and severely criticized them. Afterwards, he earnestly said to the people around him: "As the Prime Minister, I made a good start and had a great influence; Bad head also affects a large area. Therefore, I must be strict with myself ... What do the people think of you spending so much money to repair my house so well? Once everyone learns to build a house, what kind of influence will it have in the crowd? " Zhou Enlai's remarks are thought-provoking. Since then, no one has dared to mention the decoration of the house.
Deng said in his memorial to: In the early days of liberation, you happened to see this blooming courtyard of begonia and fell in love with it. You chose this yard, and you have lived in this yard where begonia is in full bloom for 26 years. It has always maintained a serious view on wood diseases. What are you talking about?
As Marshal Chen Yi said, "A clean and honest Zhou Enlai also runs the country with integrity."
* * * and General Luo Ruiqing.
Luo Ruiqing is a famous strategist in China. 1906 was born in Nanchong county, Sichuan province. 1926 joined the China Youth League and studied at the Whampoa Military Academy Wuhan Branch in the same year. 1928, transferred from * * * Youth League to China * * * Production Party. 1929 Join the Chinese Red Army of Workers and Peasants. During the War of Resistance against Japanese Aggression period, he served as the director and vice president of education of China People's Anti-Japanese Military and Political University, and the director of the Eighth Route Army Political Department. During the war of liberation, he held various positions. After the founding of People's Republic of China (PRC), he served as Minister of Public Security of the Central People's Government, Commander and Political Commissar of the Public Security Army, Vice Premier the State Council, Secretary-General of the Central Military Commission, Chief of Staff of the China People's Liberation Army, Deputy Minister of National Defense and Director of the National Defense Industry Office, and Secretary-General of the Central Military Commission.
Luo Ruiqing was awarded the rank of General 1955 for his outstanding military contributions over the years.
5.
Liu Bocheng, the army god.
Liu Bocheng (1892- 1986), * * * and Guo yuanshuai. Formerly known as Liu, he was born in Kaixian County, Sichuan Province. 19 1 1 Revolution of 1911 broke out 10 In June, he joined the student army in Wanxian, Sichuan. Thus began a 70-year military career.
19 12 Spring, Liu Bocheng was admitted to Chongqing Army General School. He graduated ahead of schedule at the end of the year, joined the 5th Division of Sichuan Army as a trainee platoon leader, and joined the "second revolution" against Yuan Shikai with the Ministry. During the war, Liu Bocheng was promoted to company commander for meritorious service.
19 15 12 in Fuling, Sichuan, Liu Bocheng formed the fourth detachment of the Sichuan national defense army and participated in the second anti-yuan war, that is, the national defense war. 1965438+In March, 2006, Liu Bocheng was shot twice in the head and seriously injured in his right eye when he led the troops to attack Fengdu. Due to the limited medical conditions at that time, Dr. Dejiwo did not use any anesthetic to protect his cranial nerves when he removed his right eyeball. At the beginning of the operation, Liu Bocheng was holding his post, sweating profusely and saying nothing, and the operation was successfully completed. Dr. Wo couldn't help but say with emotion: "You are not a soldier, but a military god! Army god! There is really the spirit of scraping bones and healing in Guan Yunchang, the Three Kingdoms! " .
Zhu De —— From saving the country through education to joining the army.
Marshal Zhu De, 1886, 1 was born in Li Jiawan, Yilong County, Sichuan Province in February. For generations, they lived by renting out the land of landlords, and worked hard all the year round to make ends meet. A few hours before Zhu De was born, Zhu De's mother was still working. Zhu Desheng was born in such a family that he began to do what he could from an early age. When I was five years old, I went up the mountain to cut wood and grass.
Zhu De was able to go to school because he adopted his childless uncle Zhu Shilin, who liked him very much and changed his fate. At the age of six, Zhu De entered a private school. At the age of twenty, he entered Nanchong County Middle School. A year later, he was admitted to the sports school affiliated to Sichuan higher education institutions. Because of the influence of bourgeois democratic thought here, the consciousness of saving the country through education has emerged. After graduation, on 1908, several classmates and friends were invited back to Yilong County to organize a higher primary school, and Zhu Deren was appointed as the school's physical education teaching and general affairs. The number of students has increased rapidly from a few to more than 70. Although schools were established, local tyrants and evil gentry opposed new ideas and suppressed education. The darkness of society, the sufferings of the people and the decay of the ruling class made Zhu De realize that education could not save the country. He resolutely abandoned religion to join the army and embarked on a tortuous and great revolutionary road.
Once, Socrates was walking in the street, and someone hit him on the back with a stick, which made him unable to stand up and squatted down, but soon, he stood up casually. Seeing that he didn't respond, others who witnessed the whole process asked him curiously: You were beaten, why didn't you fight back? Socrates replied with a smile: the wild donkey kicked you, did you return it?
* Bernard Shaw loved riding a bike when he was young. Once he broke his leg bone, his female classmates took good care of him. Bernard Shaw was worried that he was weak-willed and would propose to this female classmate, so he decided to slip away. But he accidentally fell down the stairs and broke his legs. As a result, he really asked her if she would marry him. Bernard Shaw fainted when the female classmate nodded.
A lady said to Mao Mu, I've been with a man for a long time, but I'm not sure if I'm in love with him. This famous writer has a very unique view on the test of love. He said: there is only one way to test whether you really love him. Would you like to brush your teeth with his toothbrush?
Someone asked Dumas: Why can you enter your old age with great composure? He retorted disapprovingly: It took me all my life to live today.
* Fang Lingxuan, a famous figure in the Tang Dynasty, was seriously ill when he was not an official. He said to his wife Lu: If I die of illness, don't be widowed and remarry. Lushi went to the room and dug out an eye to show that he would never change his mind. Later, Fang recovered from illness and rose to the high position of prime minister, always showing great respect for his wife.
Agatha christie's husband is an archaeologist. Once, at a party, a friend asked him: How do you feel when an imaginative woman like you marries an antique player? Detective novelists say: archaeologists are ideal husbands. You see, the older things get, the more he likes them.
Voltaire visited England on 1727. He found that the British hated the French very much. A group of Englishmen shouted at him: Kill him and hang the Frenchman! Voltaire said: English! You want to kill me because I'm French. Isn't it hard enough to be punished because I'm not English? The Englishman smiled and sent him all the way back to the apartment.
Chaplin is a rare all-round filmmaker who can compose music, direct and act. Once, he held a film production meeting and a fly flew around him. At first, he hit it several times with his hand, but he missed it, so he asked for a fly swatter. During the dinner, he took a fly swatter, posed as a fly swatter and looked at the flies viciously. But he called three times. The comedian shrugged his shoulders and said, this is not the one just now!
* After Li Bai's death, his body was buried at the head of the quarrying river, and poets from all walks of life wrote poems in front of his grave. Someone wrote a quatrain: the stone quarrying river is a piece of rotten soil, and Li Bai's poems are famous throughout the ages; Come and go to write two lines, and drop a big axe in front of Lu Ban.
* In his later years, Ouyang Xiu painstakingly revised the words written in his life every day. His wife told him not to modify them, saying, why do you torture yourself like this? Are you still afraid of being scolded by the teacher? Ouyang Xiu said with a smile: I am not afraid of being scolded by the teacher, but I am afraid of being laughed at by future generations.
Lincoln once dreamed that he was attending a meeting. When he walked, everyone made way for Lincoln. At this time, in a large group of people, one whispered: He is just an ordinary-looking person. Lincoln listened and said, friend, God likes ordinary people, so he gave birth to many ordinary people.
Carnegie, the American steel magnate, talks about the secret of his success: I think my greatest advantage is that I can arouse people's enthusiasm. The best way for people to do their best is to appreciate him and praise him. The boss's criticism is the easiest way to destroy the confidence of deployment. I have never seen a person do things better when he is blown on cloud nine than when he is praised.
* Eliot, president of Harvard University in the United States, said: I think Harvard can really be called a treasure house of knowledge now. But I'm thinking that Harvard can become a treasure house of knowledge because freshmen bring knowledge, while senior students leave school with only a little knowledge.
* Curtis, a famous German doctor, once gave a banquet and stood on the host's side. He wanted to cut the roast pig on the table and give it to the guests. He cut the pig's chest straight with a knife, then cut it horizontally, and then pulled the cut mushrooms and other fillings into the pig's stomach in a quick and unique way. Then he took out a suitcase from his pocket, a surgical needle and thread from the suitcase, and sewed up the cut chest.
Kate Ritchie, a famous professor at Harvard University in the United States, is an authority on Shakespeare studies. Once, when he was teaching Shakespeare on the pulpit, he accidentally stepped into the air and fell under the pulpit. He stood up and said to the students with great momentum: I have been teaching for forty years, and for the first time I fell to the same level as the audience!
Once, a performance competition imitating Chaplin was held in a certain place, with as many as thirty or forty participants. Chaplin himself participated anonymously and won the third place. Chaplin thinks this is the biggest joke of his life!
* A female student of Smith Women's University in the United States once dated her boyfriend and returned to the dormitory very late, so she had to climb in through the window. But the window is too heavy for her to lift. Suddenly someone came to help her at the window and whispered to her, don't let others see it. When she climbed in, it was President Wilson smiling.
* Dr. Johnson, whose father runs a big second-hand bookstall. Once, there was a program not far away, and everyone went to the market. It is raining. His father wants Dr. John to distribute some books and transport them to the market. His father called him three times, but Dr. Johnson was absorbed in reading a thick and big book at this moment, but he pretended not to hear him and ignored him. His father sighed. Dr Johnson is eighteen years old. Fifty years later, one day at eleven o'clock at noon, the local people saw the bloated old man kneeling in the street. He put his hat under his arm, put his crutch aside, bowed his head in the sun and burst into tears. At this time, Dr. Johnson became famous and everyone came to see him. He said to everyone: Fifty years ago, on the same day and at the same time, I did not listen to my father, and now I am kneeling here to confess!
A bartender in Paris said: I can tell the nationality of a customer after drinking two double martinis. The French fall in love, the Spanish dance, the Germans brag, the Italians sing, the Irish fight, and the Americans stand up and give speeches.
Joey Brown traveled to the East during the Pacific War and met with General MacArthur. They took a picture together. The famous movie star Lian said: I am very lucky to take a photo with you! But General MacArthur said: This photo was taken for my youngest son. He often hoped that his father could take photos with celebrities.
* In his later years, Ouyang Xiu painstakingly revised the words written in his life every day. His wife told him not to modify them, saying, why do you torture yourself like this? Are you still afraid of being scolded by the teacher? Ouyang Xiu said with a smile: I am not afraid of being scolded by the teacher, but I am afraid of being laughed at by future generations.
Mark Twain worked in a newspaper when he was young. Six months later, the editor told him not to come back tomorrow. Mark Twain asked why. The editor-in-chief said: Because you are too lazy. Mark Twain smiled and replied: It will take you six months to find out that I am lazy, but I knew it the first day I entered the newspaper.
Yang Xiu was a trusted minister of Cao Cao in the later Han Dynasty. He was very clever when he was nine years old. One day, his father visited Kong Ping and was received by him. He prepared bayberry to entertain him. Kong Ping saw him and jokingly asked, Is this the fruit of your family? Yang Xiu immediately replied: I have never heard that peacocks are your poultry!
* When Su Shi was the magistrate of Hangzhou in the Song Dynasty, there was a villager who made a living by fans, but it was cold, so he owed taxes. Dongpo asked him to draw dead wood and bamboo stones with fans, and drew more than 20 fans. Only when the county headquarters walked out of the county gate, someone came to buy it. So all the taxes owed were paid off.
Raphael, an Italian Renaissance painter, painted a portrait of Maria holding her son Jesus. On her right is an old man and on her left is a maid. But there is a big blank below, and he is thinking about what to fill. At this time, he saw two children from the window of a nearby bakery. The older one is about four or five years old, holding his chin up, looking up at the sky and talking to his younger brother. The younger brother leaned his head on his arm, looked at the sky and listened to his brother.
Someone asked Raphael how he could paint such beautiful works. He replied: I had many dreams, and then I painted around them. Fantasy can make people see intangible things, while will can turn intangible things into tangible entities.
* Einstein put forward his views on success in life at the press conference. He used a mathematical formula to express it: assuming that A represents a person's success, I can write the following formula: A = X+Y+Z, X represents work, and Y represents games. The reporter asked: What does Z stand for? Einstein smiled and replied: Z is to keep your mouth shut.
* Finnish conductor Boris Sebo and his wife came to the United States to perform. It is said that the house where they live is often haunted. One day, they were really awakened by the sound of a ghost. Mrs. Sebo asked her husband to see it, but the conductor said, No, honey, you'd better go because your English is better than mine.
When Mozart was six years old, he gave his first concert in the palace in Munich, Germany. As soon as the floor in the palace was smooth, he slipped as soon as he entered the palace door. At this moment, a little princess came to help him up and kissed his hand. Mozart was so grateful that he didn't know how to thank him. He said, when I grow up, I must marry you as my bride. Everyone burst into laughter.
* 1948 In the American general election, President Truman rushed to his hometown from the White House to vote. A group of reporters chased him to the president's house, but they didn't see him. Later, when they met the president, a reporter asked him what happened along the way. President Truman replied: A police car stopped us. It seems that an important person will pass through this town today.
Once, a reporter asked Kennedy: How did you become a hero in World War II? Kennedy replied: They sank my ocean patrol boat, and I became famous. We know that Kennedy was sunk by the enemy in the small boat DT-O 8, and he was injured.
Socrates' wife is fierce. Once, she lost her temper and called Socrates. Before Yunu stopped breathing, she took a big bucket of water and poured it on her husband's head. Socrates scratched his wet hair and said with a smile, there will be heavy rain after thunder. This is the law of nature and the truth.
Newton was very absorbed in his studies. Once, a friend treated him. During the dinner, he remembered that there was a bottle of good wine at home, so he told his friends to wait and go home to get the wine himself. Friends were waiting around, but Newton didn't come back, so we had to investigate. It turned out that Newton thought of an experiment on his way home. When he got home, he plunged into the laboratory and started the experiment, completely forgetting about entertaining his friends with wine. On another occasion, when he was hungry, he boiled eggs to eat, but while thinking about the problem, he put the eggs in the pot. The problem was solved. When he wanted to eat eggs, he opened the lid and picked up his pocket watch.
* Sima Guang in the Song Dynasty was born in an official family. Wit and studious since childhood. Just turned 20, admitted to Jinshi. He is an honest official, who often studies in his spare time and is determined to write a general chronicle for people's reference. In order to seize the time to study, he specially made a log pillow. The magical function of the pillow is that when sleeping, the body will roll as soon as it rotates, and people will wake up to continue learning knowledge, so it is called "police pillow". Whenever Sima Guang needs a rest, he puts a "police pillow" on the pillow. As a result of this study, he finally became a knowledgeable person.
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