Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - More than 5 classic funny sentences!
More than 5 classic funny sentences!
1. A male deer, it walked faster and faster, and finally it became a highway (deer)! ! ! !
2. Two tomatoes crossed the road, and a car sped by. One of them couldn't avoid being squashed, and the other tomato pointed to the squashed tomato and laughed loudly: dig hahaha, ketchup ...
3. There was a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, he was hit by a car, and he shouted, "Quack! "From then on, he became a cucumber! !
4. The matchstick suddenly felt itchy, so it stretched out its hand and scratched itself and burned itself to death ...
5. Once upon a time, there was a bird who passed by a cornfield every day, but unfortunately
one day there was a fire in that cornfield and all the corn turned into popcorn.
After the bird flew over ... it thought it was snowing, so it died of cold ..
When buying instant noodles,
7. Asun and appa have nothing to chat about and tell each other that time and tide wait for no man.
A Song: "Recalling my childhood, I enjoyed Children's Day the most."
appa: "Youth Day will be in ten years."
A Song: "Father's Day is in ten years."
appa: "it will be the festival for the elderly in a few decades."
A Song: "In a few decades."
A Bo: "Tomb-Sweeping Day."
8. What did mung bean commit suicide by jumping off the fifth floor? -Red beans, because it's bleeding
9. A person riding a motorcycle likes to put on his clothes backwards, that is, button it at the back to keep out the wind.
one day, he was driving under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road.
After the police arrived ...
Policeman A: What a terrible car accident.
Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back.
Policeman A: Well, he is still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back.
Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push hard, and turn back.
Policeman A: Well, I didn't breathe ...
1. What did the cucumber become when it fell from the upstairs? -Eggplant
11. The doctor asked the patient how he broke his bone. The patient said, I felt there was sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes by holding the telephone pole. A fucking * * * passed by, thinking I was electrocuted, so he grabbed a stick and gave me two sticks!
12. The tortoise is injured. Let the snail buy medicine. After two hours, the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise scolded in a hurry: I'll die if I don't fucking come back! Then came the voice of a snail outside the door: * * * Besides, I'm not going!
13. A couple quarreled. Woman: "You can't compare with anyone in everything!" "
M: "Yes, especially girlfriends!"
14. A Yue wants to cook and ask her mother who is playing mahjong, how many meters should she get?
Mom didn't hear Ah Yue's question. She played the cards in her hand and said, "Nine barrels".
As a result, the pot of rice kept them eating for a whole week.
15. You said: I love you 521
+and you said: 365
----------every day. < p
the passenger replied, "I'm Scorpio, and you?"
"I'm Scorpio, I mean which seat do you take? . . .
17. People are having a meeting: the doctor said, "I am a doctor." The monk said, "I am a monk." The warrior said, "I am a warrior." The swordsman said, "You talk first, and I'll go first."
18. A woman is ugly and can't get married, hoping to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent it back, and she insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his foot: Go, don't want the car!
19. One day A picked out a mirror and looked at it. The people here are so familiar.
B said; Is it? Let me see (taking the mirror), me! You don't even know me?
2. Teacher: "Xiao Ming, please come up and do this quadratic equation."
Xiao Ming: "Teacher ~ ~ ~ I only have one dollar ..."
21. A caterpillar on the tree, having nothing to do, plucked its own hair and pulled it out. It found that its panel was so smooth. When it was about to say this feeling, it was kicked off the tree by another caterpillar, and the caterpillar that kicked it off the tree said angrily, you dead caterpillar. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, Say, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I am from RTVU!
23. Once upon a time, there was a steamed bread that turned into a steamed bun after eating a meatball.
1. Paddle well when you get on the boat, but who knows it is refueling!
2. When someone asks you what you are doing, you simply say "I am living"
3. The pie in the sky is for those who know how to open their mouths.
4. Don't argue with a NB, because he will bring your IQ to the same level as him, and then beat you with rich experience.
5. I feel depressed because of my heart waves.
6. Be nice to others when you climb up, because you will meet them when you go down.
7. When we were young, we cried and laughed. When we grew up, we laughed and cried.
8. Although godfather and boyfriend have different meanings these days, they do similar things.
9. Today, for the first birthday of MM, I picked up my mobile phone on time and sent a message: sofa.
1. Many people come into your life just to teach you a lesson, and then turn around and leave.
11. Passengers who get on the bus please buy tickets, and passengers who have bought tickets please get off!
12. I just want to live the life I like simply, and life likes to filter me simply.
13. A man felt guilty after cheating and confessed to his wife: I took the bullet train. The wife said: hmm. The man said again: I took the bullet train. The wife said without looking up: Oh. Husband is anxious: cao, I cheated.
14. I hope to lie on the sunflower and face the sunshine even if I am depressed.
15. There is a beautiful spring in everyone's heart, and we always let it snow intentionally or unintentionally.
16. I just wanted to turn gracefully, but I ran into a wall.
17. The boss may not forgive what the teacher can forgive.
18. You are in my heart, but you are not with me.
19. You have to live in a realistic and complicated society, not a university or a paradise.
2. People like you, I forgot that if you don't have anyone's qualification certificate, you should die of old age.
21. Is this important? Is it big news? I don't think it's a big news.
22. Everyone has the right to humiliate himself.
23. If you're not careful, it's autumn again!
24. Be careful of your enthusiasm, you may burn others.
25. Many things are more true than the real ones, just like news and movies.
26. If there is an earthquake, is that ear digger unlucky?
27. Laugh naturally when you are happy, and laugh when you are unhappy.
28. All good beginnings and endings happen in bed. Sleep!
29. There is no permanent interest, only a permanent position.
3. The best proof of maturity is a fake smile.
31.13,13, shiny, the sky is full of big biscuits.
32. Bury the bullet train in the soil until a new bullet train grows next year.
33. I'm just your symbol, drawing a perfect ending for you and her.
34. The cruelest reality is that the girl you like is someone else's, and the girl you don't like is also someone else's.
35. For an impotent person, "premature ejaculation" is an extravagant hope! Classic funny sentences
1. When I have money, I will buy a bus, take the bus lane and stop at the bus stop. When someone wants to get on the bus, I will say: I'm sorry, this is a private car
2. Are you a guest officer or staying in a hotel
I defecate
3. I was young, and you were old?
4. A gentleman is nothing more than a patient wolf
5. It's not necessarily a good thing that all people stand on one side, for example, they all stand on one side of the boat
6. Relax, I'm not a good person ...
7. You said ... you like me? Actually ... at first ... actually, I also ... well, I told you, actually, I liked myself.
8. As a typical failure, you were really successful.
9. When I was a child, I just learned to ride a bicycle, and I was not good at running into the street. When I saw an old man walking in front of me, I felt like I was going to bump into him, so I shouted, don't move, don't move. The old man stood there for a moment without moving, so I turned around and bumped into him. The old man stood up and said,
You aim at it. 1. If there is 3W, everyone says it is better to buy a Mercedes or a Ferrari.
reply: it's best to buy 3 second-hand Otto, and then hire 3 drivers to drive behind you, in an S-shape for a while and in a B-shape for a while.
11. Smile more, and watch out for emotional colds on cloudy days!
12. I smile at the sky from the horizontal knife, and then I go to sleep!
13. Lu Yao knows that the horsepower is not enough, but people will be ill after a long time.
14. My father expressed his views on my obesity: Han Hong didn't die, but Han Hong got sick.
15. I never hold grudges. Generally, when I have a grudge, I report it on the spot.
16. Don't cry at my grave. Dirty my path of reincarnation.
17. Well, Manager Zhang, you can't press CTRL+C on your home computer and then CTRL+V on your company computer. Not even the same article. No, no, not even an expensive computer.
18. I thought you were just a number between 1 and 3, but I didn't expect you to be a combination of 1 and 3.
2. When a cannibal went to work, the manager repeatedly told him not to eat his colleagues and agreed. A few days later, I couldn't help eating a cleaner
and was immediately found out. The sentiment is: Never eat people who really do things.
21. Now you scold me because you don't know me yet. When you know me later, you will definitely hit me.
22. You never know who casually said goodbye to you and then really disappeared.
23. The road to success is always under construction.
24. If I don't go to hell, whoever loves me will go down
25. Guess an English sentence: "ababbaaaabbaabbaabbaabbaaaaaaaa"? < answer: long time no c >
26. Think of your eyebrows, but think of vagueness. Suddenly, I feel that most of my thoughts are like this, and they are getting weaker and weaker (I vaguely remember that this is the lyrics of Faye Wong's "I don't want this either", don't you know? )
27. After years, I lamented that the two teenagers: one was amazing and the other was gentle.
28. If she (he) says to you, "Forget me." You tell each other, "I never remember."
29. I will always remember your kindness to us, and I will never let you go when I am a ghost.
3. Dear female colleagues, please don't be angry with me. My wife has a caller ID.
31. Smile, wave, goodbye and end.
32, I remember, I once decided to be a fun person
33, think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.
34. Well, just give me an affordable grave.
35. After living for more than 2 years, I have failed to do anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about it, I am heartbroken.
36. Do all the capable bad things while you are young. It's only a few years.
37. Earning money to sell cabbage and selling white powder
38. Seven-year-old boys are the most terrible creatures on earth. They have curiosity, mobility, destructive power and the Law on the Protection of Minors.
39. A man is as good as his word-I won't pay back the money if I say not!
4. Lao Tzu said: I can sleep, very much.
41. Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe in you.
42. God says, don't forget to bring an umbrella when you go out, and I will water the flowers later.
43. Special people never say that they are special, such as I
44. I'm very good, but Tai said that he didn't have time to come.
45. I know, the world.
46. I'll take my sunshine path and you cross your Naihe Bridge.
47. The world belongs to us and the children, but in the end it belongs to the grandchildren!
48. whenever I am in trouble, I read Tibetan scriptures: "oh, moo, coax", which translates into English: All money go my home!
49, the simplest secret of longevity-keep breathing, don't die
5, Confucius said: don't sleep at noon, collapse in the afternoon. Mencius said: Confucius is right!
51. Kindness means that when others are hungry, I don't eat meat.
52. On the long road of life, I always make a few mistakes.
53. I never bully the weak ~ ~ ~ I didn't know he was weaker than me before I bullied him ...
54. You take your overpass and I'll go through my underground passage.
55. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static means sleeping, while dynamic means turning over ...
56. Where I fall, where I get up ... I always fall there. I suspect there is a pit!
57. Alas, this person has to be out of shape, even his headache is partial.
58. I don't know much about music, so sometimes I'm unreliable and sometimes out of tune.
59. When people do good things, they always want to let ghosts and gods know. When they do bad things, they always think that ghosts and gods don't know. We make ghosts and gods too embarrassed.
6. Ask who is the most open-minded in the world, and tell me to do my part.
61. If you can't tolerate me, it means that your mind is either too narrow or my personality is too great.
62, I will walk till the water checks my path, thirsty; Then sit and watch the rising clouds, dizzy.
63. I want to learn from the phoenix nirvana, but I accidentally ... got ripe!
64. Anyway, my life is always different from their calculations. I don't know if they are not right or I am wrong.
65. You smile at the corner of your mouth 3 degrees. Does Baidu search not?
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