Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Why is there nothing to talk about? Because you have little knowledge!
Why is there nothing to talk about? Because you have little knowledge!
What's it like to talk to death?
When I first entered college, I was in this state every day.
I really can't pass because of what my classmates in the big city said.
I come from a small city and have never been anywhere. To tell the truth, the highest brand I knew at that time was Li Ning.
I don't even know the real x and left x slaves.
When I was a sophomore, a girl in our class spent a lot of money to buy her a pair of Li Ning, which caused a sensation in the whole class. She exists almost like Downton Abbey in class.
I remember that at one time, in front of the most luxurious shopping mall in our small town, the biggest advertisement was Ba Jin men's wear, which shocked me. At that time, the brand was D&, in my opinion. g .
I wanted to communicate with my classmates about my dad's joy in buying Ba Jin men's wear. I told my classmates in Tianjin in the dormitory that her father wore Armani.
I'm at a loss.
What is this? Is it more expensive than Ba Jin men's wear?
She said airily, actually, it's ok, 1 10,000 yuan a set.
1 10,000 yuan or more ...
At that time, the best pies in our university canteen were only 1 cent, and 1 000 pieces of pies could be bought 1 000 pieces!
I dropped my chin at that time, but it hasn't been attached yet.
Maybe my shock shocked my classmates in the big city at that time. Over time, they don't talk to me much. Occasionally, they forget, at first, did you listen to bjork's new album ... Then they gave me a look, and before I could answer, they said, "Forget it, you don't understand ..." Then they turned to ask other students.
I am really angry. How can you acquiesce that I don't know?
Although I really didn't know at the time.
Once, a brother in Beijing invited me to eat western food. I was so scared that I went to the library to check the etiquette of eating western food, fearing that I would be embarrassed.
It was delicious and smooth, but it was embarrassing when chatting.
He said that he had just gone to Europe and was not used to blue cheese at first. It stinks, but he's getting hooked on it.
I can't answer the phone because all I know is that stinky tofu is delicious.
He said it was convenient to buy things in Hong Kong. Many brands that can't be bought in Chinese mainland are there. ...
I didn't answer the phone.
In order to break the embarrassment, he asked me what brand you like and I can bring it to you next time I go to Hong Kong. ...
To tell the truth, when it comes to brands, my first reaction at that time turned out to be the seven wolves and Aileen. ...
Finally, this embarrassing meal is finally finished. I want to say, at least have a decent ending.
The coffee came, and I drank it spoonfuls by spoonfuls, feeling that my posture was quite elegant.
Brother smiled.
I think I was conquered by my elegance.
Later, I learned that spoons are not used for scooping and drinking, but for stirring.
I really knelt down for myself.
02
Working for many years, I once met someone from a public relations company. She told me that I meet many people every day, but you are really the most interesting person I have ever met. You've talked to everyone. You know a lot. Listening to your chat is particularly interesting, and you can learn something (knock on the blackboard and praise your own tricks by borrowing others' words, you should learn).
I replied modestly, where is it? Then can you elaborate on how interesting I am?
Maybe she was shocked by my impudence and she cooperated.
She said that I said two things that impressed her deeply.
The first thing I told was a joke that happened when I went to Japan to play.
A boy who went with me, his girlfriend heard that liquid sanitary napkins in Japan are particularly easy to use, and asked him to go to a convenience store to buy them for himself.
The boy, like me, has poor English. How can I let the waiter know that he wants liquid sanitary napkins?
He had a brainwave and used body language.
He pointed to his own * * *, paddling with his hand, and kept saying "water, water" ...
The effect is obvious. The salesman almost called the police.
He looked at me for help and asked me to help him in English. As his friend, it is my duty to ... leave.
The second thing is that when I was visiting the United States, I heard a conversation between a mother and her child.
In our China, when we meet beggars on the road, our mother will definitely say to our children:
Look, if you don't study hard, you will become like him in the future.
At that time, I was in new york. A group of homeless people were lying on the side of the road. A white mother walked by with a little girl. The white mother said to the little girl:
I see. You should study hard and help them in the future.
The girl said, I talked about it at that time and discussed the gap between Chinese and American education with her. We are all deeply impressed. The pattern of American children is really high, and they know that they want to change the world from an early age.
God, have I ever been this deep?
I can't believe it.
The girl also said that when I first met, I actually thought I was ugly (is it necessary for my mother to be so honest? ), but after talking to me, I really admire me and hope to be like me in the future.
She asked me, chatting is so interesting, how do you do it?
I think it makes me cry roast meat.
That's great.
The moment of legal compulsion has finally arrived.
I've thought it over. There may be several reasons. First of all, I have read many books. Second, I have been to many places; Third, everywhere I go, I observe attentively, and when I come back, I write articles to express my experiences and ideas.
These are summed up in the simplest words, that is, I have seen too much.
03
I just found myself different.
When I was in college, I was afraid to chat with knowledgeable people because it would highlight my ignorance.
Now I can't be cold when chatting with anyone, because I can always find a topic and always pick it up.
When others say that Taipei is really literary, I will say, yes, in a shabby dessert shop, the messages on the wall are poetic, all of which are "I have no money, can I mortgage my shadow here?" I was infected at that time and decided to take out my own cultural heritage and write: I have no money. Can I mortgage my fat here?
When people say Niagara Falls is super beautiful, I will say, I have been there, and once I get there, I can't walk, because there is a hot dog stand near the waterfall, where there are the best hot dogs in the world. I ate four at a time, but I always had a stomachache and almost went to the hospital.
Speaking of which, I'm a little confused. Are these stories really my opinions?
Just pretend you didn't see it.
I used to chat with knowledgeable people and heard many strange terms, but I didn't understand them, but I didn't dare to ask or say them.
Now, if I don't understand anything, I have the cheek to ask, what is this? I don't know.
I can admit and accept my ignorance.
Because I no longer feel inferior.
Because I have full confidence and know what I know and what I don't know.
I don't understand, it doesn't matter, as long as I understand.
More importantly, because I have seen the bigger world, all kinds of lifestyles, extreme luxury and extreme poverty, people who are extremely happy and open-minded, and I have become a man and then a woman, my biggest change is to learn to accept differences.
The beauty of the world lies in its diversity.
The beauty of life lies in its various lifestyles.
Therefore, in life, when chatting with anyone, I will not judge others' lifestyles at will, nor will I impose certain values on others.
For example, I would never tell a 30-year-old single person that your life is incomplete without marriage;
I would never tell a 35-year-old childless person that you will regret not having children.
I would never tell a 40-year-old who is going to learn skateboarding that you don't want to think about how old you are.
What is the meaning of traveling? Probably I have seen a lot of scenery and a lot of life, so I no longer regard myself as the standard to measure everything.
Look at the world from different angles. This is a cool attitude! Share it!
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