What is the funniest joke (funny video)? . .

A: It is said that Zhuge Liang, Liu Bei, Sun Quan and Cao Cao once flew together and suddenly encountered an emergency and needed to parachute to escape. Only then did I find that there were only three parachute bags left on the plane. Everyone is nervous. At this time, Zhuge Liang shook his feather fan and cleared his throat. He said, "I'll tell you something. If I can answer a few questions, I will skydive. If I can't answer them, I have to jump myself. " . Others have no choice but to agree.

Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "How many suns are there in the sky?" Liu Bei thought it was very simple, answered "one", took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many moons are there in the sky?" Sun Quan replied, "One" and went down with an umbrella bag. Finally, it was Cao Cao's turn. Zhuge Liang asked, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Cao Zheng was puzzled and had to jump by himself. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea and saved his life. Cao Cao secretly rejoiced.

The second time, four people met an emergency by plane, but there were still only three parachutes. After four discussions, it is better to do it the old way. Zhuge Liang shook the feather fan again and asked Liu Bei, "What was the battle for Zhou Wuwang to defeat the crepe king?" ? "Liu Bei thought simply and answered" Makino War ". Zhuge Liang nodded, and Liu Bei took an umbrella bag and went down. Zhuge Liang asked Sun Quan again, "How many people died in that battle?" Sun Quan thought for a moment and said, "About 30,000 to 40,000." Zhuge nodded, and Sun Quan took an umbrella bag and went down. Cao Cao couldn't help laughing and thinking, "Zhuge Liang, I know everything from ancient times to the present, especially the military." You fell this time! Ha ha. "I saw Zhuge Liang ask,' What are their names? Cao Cao almost fainted and had to jump by himself. Unexpectedly, he jumped into the sea again to save his life. Cao Cao chuckled, "Lao tze is really deadly. What can you do with me, old Zhuge? " !"

The third time, the same four people flew, and the plane encountered an emergency. Cao Cao thought about it, and Zhuge tried to fool me again, so I jumped myself to avoid being insulted. So I jumped into the air at high speed. I heard Zhuge Liang's laughter from above. "Cao Cao, you are so smart. Haha, there are four parachutes on the plane today!" " \"

Cao Cao "Ah!"

Magpie comes, and mother says it looks like a bird or a guest; The swallow came, and my mother said it was a good bird or a guest. The crow came, and the child asked, are you a guest? Yes, I am a hacker, cried the crow.

China is strong, will he be the only one? Ask foreigners to take CET-4 and CET-6! Classical Chinese is so simple that all the questions are answered with a brush, which is cheap for them. If we are in a hurry, each of us will carve Oracle Bone Inscriptions with a knife and tortoise shell! The title of the thesis is: On Theory of Three Represents! ~ Speaking of listening test, Jay Chou's song "Nunchaku" can be heard twice, and "Chrysanthemum Terrace" can only be heard once! Tell them that this is the normal speaking speed of China people! Reading comprehension is all about the government work report, the oral test requires singing Beijing opera, and the experiment includes zongzi! Test them foreigners to death ~ ~!

Once upon a time, a man named "Shuang" died. On the day of the funeral, the family cried and shouted: Shuang Shuang ~ Shuang Shuang ~! Passers-by saw this scene very strange ~ so they went forward to ask the reason: what are you enjoying! The cool family cried and said, cool! It's cool! ~~

A China man suddenly had loose bowels while visiting Britain. He ran into the public toilet and finally solved it. He came out triumphantly humming a song, only to find a large group of people looking at him in surprise. Only then did he realize that he had entered the ladies' room in a panic.

"What should I do? I can't make a fool of myself. I can't embarrass the people of China. "He immediately put on a smile, made a 90-degree bow and shouted:

"by lesbian, byebye~~~" and then walked away. A crowd watching from behind

Frowning and muttering in disgust: "Oh ~ ~ ~ Japanese! ! ! "

A student was caught climbing over the wall. The headmaster asked, "Why did you climb over the wall? \"

The student pointed to his coat and said, "Mi Bang Wei, don't take the usual road! \"

The headmaster asked again, "How did you get over such a high wall? \"

The student pointed to his trousers and said, "Li Ning, anything is possible! \"

The headmaster said angrily, "What's it like to climb over the wall? \"

The student pointed to the shoes and said, "Xtep, it feels like flying!" " \"

The next day, the students went out from the main entrance. The headmaster asked in surprise, "Why don't you climb over the wall today?" \r%A The student pointed to the whole body and said, "Anta, I choose, I like it! \"

The headmaster was furious and said, "I remember you better than I do." \"

The student was dissatisfied and asked, "Why? Did I do something wrong? \"

The headmaster sneered: "M-Zone, my site listens to me! \"!

A and B flew, broke down and landed on a desert island.

The chief of the cannibal on the desert island said, "You can let you go with the same piece of fruit as 100!" ! ! "\r%A After a while, A brought 100 strawberries first.

Chief: "put them all in your ass and let you go!" " ! ! \"

A started cramming ... 98, nothing. ...

When he memorized 99, he smiled and said, "Hey, hey ..." All the strawberries came out. ...

A was killed by the chief. ...

In heaven, the angel asked armour, "You only need one to avoid death, but why are you laughing?" ? \"

A said, "Because I saw B bring back 100 durians." \r%A Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

The sky is blue, the sea is deep, and nothing a person says is true; Love is eternal, blood is bright red, and it is impossible for a man not to fight; When a man has money, he is destined for everyone. If a person can rely on it, pigs can climb trees.

A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but were knocked down by the earthquake. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, it's fucking backwards!

The child stole a parrot from a prostitute's house. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called, Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!

Long life, who is not bad! Family to take care of, lovers to get along! There is a cook at home, a kind-hearted person outside, a nice table and a missing person in the distance! Keep two, keep one, develop three, four, five, six, seven!

A little dog climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. As a result, the dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said, look who is cruel.

Legend has it that tonight, ghosts wander, death rays reappear, and ghosts turn around! May the ghost hear my call, come to your head in the middle of the night, touch your face with pale face, green eyes and dry hands and say good night to you for me!

Men, always smiling, eyes discharging, either disgusting and mean, or cheating! A woman with breast enhancement and thin waist is dissolute and coquettish, either taking out her pocket or letting you have a black knife! These days, freaks and banshees, look out!

When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!

The mouse is particularly depressed because he has no girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.

A friend asked the bat how he married a mouse. The bat has tears in his eyes, which is meaningful: alas! That day, he ate Brother Wei, with strong firepower, and jumped on the ceiling to let him succeed.

I sent you this message for ten cents to tell you that I am not a penniless person. For example, this dime message is my birthday present to you.

The ant lay lazily in the soil and stretched out a leg. A friend asked you why. Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.

A beautiful woman found lipstick too heavy, wiped it with a wet tissue and threw it on the road. An old man picked it up, looked at it for a long time and suddenly woke up. He caught up and said, girl, this ultra-thin one is easy to fall off!

Cucumber was lovelorn and cried, and eggplant comforted her: love is not only sweet, but also intoxicated, heartbroken and tearful. Alas! Who made you fall in love with onions?

Yesterday, I dreamed that God said I could grant a wish. I took out a globe and said I wanted world peace. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I want this person to look good. On reflection, he said that I would take another look at the globe.

The woman is ugly, can't get married, and wants to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car.

Twenty years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. \"

On the plane, a parrot said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water." The pig followed the parrot's example and said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water." The stewardess was furious and threw the parrot and pig off the plane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig, "You are stupid, I can fly."

An old farmer was hoeing in the field, and a crow flew over and took a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Cao, you mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "Cao! You shit and wear underpants! " v

Xiao Ming told his mother that my brother put a thumbtack on the guest's chair when he came home to play today, and I saw it. Mom said, "Then how did you do it? Xiao Ming said, "I stood by, and when the guest wanted to sit down, I took the chair away from behind him." \"

One day on a crowded bus, a conversation went like this: a standing pregnant woman said to a man sitting next to him, "Don't you know I'm pregnant?" (I want him to give up his seat ...) I saw the man nervously say, "The child is not mine! 』

Just a gust of wind, so eternal, just a dream, so real, you bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally can't help telling you, let me know the next time you fart!

A couple of lovers were caught by a savage in the mountains and said that you would let you go if you ate each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly, you don't love me, otherwise you won't pull so much!

One day, the wife of a gentleman gave birth to a baby. He hurried to visit the hospital. After waiting for n hours, there was crying in the delivery room. He shouted happily, I'm dad! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born deformed. A gentleman stayed there and didn't understand why. Suddenly, his wife's crying came from the delivery room: it was all because of the murder that day.

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