Witty classic quotations

1. I like making friends, especially girlfriends.

2. If women are not cruel to themselves, men will be cruel to women.

3. It's going to rain, and Mother wants to get married. Let him go!

4. If the sky is affectionate, it will be old, and if people are affectionate, they will die early!

5. My life is up to me, not the sky. If the sky wants to destroy me, I will destroy the sky.

6. Fall in love no matter how ugly you are, and talk about the world full of love.

7. The Internet is like a glass of beer. It's best to drink when there is foam.

8. The proud fox is as fierce as a tiger, and the down-and-out phoenix is not as good as a chicken.

9. Have a health check before marriage and an intelligence test when you are in love!

1. We agreed to grow old together, but you secretly baked oil.

11. Spring is a period of mental illness, so everyone should pay attention.

12. Are you tired? Just be tired. Comfort is reserved for the dead.

13. God said: Don't forget to take an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers later.

14. The quality of military quilts is good, and the mobile phone has no signal when hiding in the quilt!

15. Sometimes I feel inexplicably annoyed, but I can't tell you why.

16. How can I get married without going through scum? No one can be a mother casually.

17. Can you say these two simple words good night to me all your life?

18. Summer is just not good. When you are poor, you don't even have to drink the northwest wind.

19. The real fate is not the arrangement of heaven, but your initiative.

2. Be careful and careful when dealing with people, but don't be narrow-minded!

21. People who don't smoke or drink are selfish. Generally, you can't trust for life.

22. Don't test Einstein with relativity, just like don't barbecue with charcoal.

23, you normal people are standing and talking without lumbar disc herniation.

24. I am trying to lose weight every day except during meals, and you still say that I have no perseverance?

25. I know that all things must come to an end, but at least, I want to eat well at the banquet!

26, high-profile sun happiness, the picture is envied; If you are wronged, you will be blocked again.

27. Youth is like toilet paper. You look at a lot, but it is not enough to use it.

28. I was just about to jump off a building when you turned around. You changed your mind. I just fucking landed.

29. The pig hit the tree. Did you hit the pig and rear-end it?

3. I don't count the stars every day after work, but sometimes I can watch the sunrise.

31. Hold the child by the hand and drag it away. If the child doesn't leave, he will continue to be towed away if he is dizzy.

32. Suddenly, I found that as long as I am happy, the world will become beautiful in a fucking moment.

33. Young girls are precious, while young women are more expensive. If there is a rich woman, you can throw both.

34. When I was a child, the thickest letter was a love letter; When I grow up, the thickest letter is the bank bill.

35. Simplicity means that those with wings are angels, and those without wings are idiots.

36. Is money really that important to you? I've been talking for over an hour and I haven't dropped a penny.

37. Life is like an electrocardiogram. You want smooth sailing without ups and downs unless you die.

38. Marriage is the grave of love, so without marriage, it would be come to a bad end.

39. A good meal can't last three meals, a good hanger can't last half a month, but a good book can last a lifetime.

4. Say it out loud if you love me! Hate me and hide it in your heart all your life!

41. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I accompany you to spend time in the world?

42. I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, but I lived by the rules for so many years.

43, a rising voice can't be held back, and the house price has passed 1, yuan; The mortgage will not be exhausted until the death, and the property rights will be dry until the tears come!

44. Please stop dressing up and leave some confidence for other women!

45, people, born in bed, die in bed, want to live and die, but also in bed.

46. If it is sunny, you will be fine. It seems that you are gone in this weather!

47. Shit! The world is so crazy, mice are given to cats as mothers!

48. You don't look like a girl except when you have your period!

49. Many girls got Han Hong's disease, but Han Hong didn't die.

5, how far is the thought, how far you roll; You can roll as fast as the speed of light.

51. There are only two things I can't do in my life: neither this nor that.

52. Would you please not appear in the street often? Otherwise traffic accidents will increase!

53. Some people stick to the end, some people stick to the bottom floor, and some people stick to Detroit.

54. I want to find a man like King Kong to stand in the tallest building in America and jerk me off.

55. Burning incense for one year makes you and me meet, burning incense for 1 years makes you and me meet, and burning incense for 1 years makes you and me know each other.

56. He always sits still before being tempted. He was always unyielding before he was tortured!

57. Please don't call me an otaku. Please tell me to close my house. Please don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie. .

58. Actually, I can't tell jokes, but someone always asks me to tell one, and you laugh before I tell it.

59. These years of experience have taught me a truth, that is, as long as you work hard, there is nothing in the world that you can't screw up.

6. I like you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I want to leave, even longer than a long time.

61. It's easy for artists to compete with each other. It's their business to compete with each other, and we belong to the competition.

62. One must fall in love at first sight at least once in one's life. From this point of view, I have made many people live this life.

63. I always think that happiness is something that happens when people fall apart and fall back!

64. Collapse is when an old lady walks into KFC and says to the waiter, How can McDonald's go?

65. Break the wife's life tenure system and implement the aunt's shareholding system. Introduce miss competition system and promote lover contract system.

66. Boss, is money really that important to you? You've been talking for over three hours, and you haven't dropped a penny?

67. If I become the HR manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to be the boss.

68. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk before eating when all the wine and meat are ready.

69. Reality is like a stone, and spirit is like an egg. Stone is hard, but an egg is life.

7. Tragic causes of love: getting better does not give each other space, while hating does not give each other opportunities.

71. When in love. We promised to get married again in the next life. After marriage, we often suspected that doomed love was built in the previous life.

72. I am poor, so are my servants, my gardener and my driver.

73. My girlfriend is very kind to me. In order to let me celebrate Singles Day, I called her last night and a man answered it!

74. You may not have watery and sparkling eyes, but your eyes should also be affectionate and fascinating.

75. Youth is short, so it's better to make a confession before it's too late. Our slogan is: early confession, early refusal and early peace of mind.

76. If you are rich, you are not satisfied. What is expensive is that you can be refined. Poverty means poor knowledge, and meanness means spineless.

77. You may not have a bunch of lips and two rows of shell teeth, but your speech should also be elegant and refined, and witty.

78. I prayed to Jesus for a solid and stable life. He thought about it and said, let's talk about world peace first!

79. I am a piece of toilet paper, facing my face, touching my ass, and finally throwing myself into the embrace of the trash can.

8. People invented clothes to hide their shame, and then took off their clothes because of fashion. The relationship between civilization and clothes.

81. Toasting is an art, spelling wine is a skill, playing drunken madness is a deception, and not getting drunk for a thousand cups is a self-defense skill.

82. There are two kinds of girls who are the cutest in the world, one is beautiful; One is smart, and you are a smart and beautiful girl.

83. Dear, you must believe me. I feel dizzy even when I take a boat, let alone when I have two feet on both sides.

84. The sun shines on the earth! Welcome everyone to the theatre! If you want to ask me which one I am, I am nicknamed Little Gong Li!

85. Nothing is more painful in life than not seeing a rainbow but catching a cold after experiencing a super storm.

86. Fans are like flowers in a pot, and they are kind to my younger brother. Everyone says that you are a fan, and I think it is better than my own mother.

87. A quarrel can't beat my wife, so after every quarrel, I will secretly raise my wife's electronic weighing scale by one kilogram!

88. I am bold, far-sighted and practical, with excellent taste but diligent introspection. Although I have many shortcomings, I hope everyone will be tolerant!

89. I fell in love at first sight, and then I fell in love with you again. I took pains all day to win my heart, and I took pains to urge my heart. Don't you understand my heart!

9. You come from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I come from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your fluffy hand! Love! Let's walk upright!

91. Water is small in the ocean, but great in the desert. The chicken is small in the crane group, but it is great in the quail!

92. The three tragedies of the dinner party: the person who wanted to invite didn't come, and the person who came had nothing to do with you, and only you were awake when checking out.

93. The baked sweet potato was originally like an adulterous man and woman in China proverbs. It is better to steal it than not to steal it, and the fragrance is better than the taste.

94. Marry a man like the national football team. They take care of their families and insist on not traveling far in Asia for decades. Such men should be cherished.

95. Shareholders always hear about making money, but they all encounter losses themselves. Don't believe when the bull market comes, and don't admit when the bear market comes.

96. God will regret that he didn't add a wagging dog's tail to people, thus reducing the effect of countless expressions.

97. Find a beautiful one when you are young, a hardworking one when you get married, a rich one after divorce, and a ghost when you die.

98. Dad has the habit of grinding his teeth. When he was a child, he woke up and his mother disappeared. When he saw his father grinding his teeth, he thought he had eaten his mother, and he cried bitterly!

99. The wife said to her husband: You are responsible for making money to support the family, and I am responsible for beauty. My husband thought deeply for two seconds and said, You really look like a flower.

1, contentment is a sweet preservative; Understanding is a panacea for disputes; Freshness is the sensor of life; Touching is an emotional thermos.

1. Everything I can't let go is because I can't have it.

2. Explanation is cover-up, and cover-up is telling stories.

3. I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice it.

4. The boat hit the bridge and sank naturally.

5. Did all the bad things that I could do while I was young?

6. Life is to be born and live

7. You once told me that you would love me forever. I know what love is, but what will it always be

8-and 7-year-old boys are the most terrible creatures on earth. They are curious and destructive, and the Law on the Protection of Minors

9. People are expensive and keep their word-

11. Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe in you.

12. Special people never say that they are special, such as me.

13. There are only two things in my life. 1. This is not going to happen. 2. That is not going to happen. 14. Adults are uncomfortable, but they are not comfortable.

15. I know that all things must come to an end, but at least I want to eat well at the banquet. 16. People can't get along with each other without being polite.

17. Kindness means that I don't eat meat when others are hungry. I wanted to be a problem of juvenile, biaji lived by the rules for so many years.

2, one day your name will appear in my household registration book

21, think about the salary, forget it, don't want to live.

22. After living for more than 2 years, I failed to do anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about this, I feel heartbroken.

23, no matter how ugly you are, you should fall in love. When it comes to the world full of love.

24. When you put on the wedding dress, I put on the cassock.

25. I prayed to Jesus for a steady and stable life. He thought about it and said, let's talk about world peace first.

26. Speak out if you love me! I planted a bunch of boyfriends in the spring, and now it's autumn. Gee, all kinds of witty quotations have failed.

1. Real dinosaurs are luminous when the lights are turned off.

2. Don't think that you are a gourd doll with shit on your head.

3. I wanted to eat my sorrow in one bite, but I became fat in one bite.

4. In what age, I have no sense of hooliganism at all.

5. I can't find it everywhere, but I still sigh at the small waist. Spare hate, a suit of fat.

6. If I talk to you one more word, I feel like a John.

7. I'd rather be fat and delicate than thin.

8. Your sentimental thigh has blocked all my ways!

9. Men hate people who seduce their wives, especially those who give up halfway.

1. In class, someone sent a note. When I saw the content, I really wanted to beat him. What he wrote was: Are you there?

11. Female: What do you think about sex? Male: The view is that there are many practices.

12. There is a kind of crash called incorrect password input, a kind of panic called account login in different places, a kind of feeling called invisibility being visible to it, and a kind of loss that you didn't ask for permission.

13. Yesterday, I went to the city to take part in the pigeon-letting competition, but I went alone.

14. Many people come into your life just to teach you a lesson, and then turn around and leave.

15. I planted a bunch of boyfriends in the spring, and now it's autumn. Gee, nothing has come of it ~~

16. The most romantic thing I can think of is to rob with you.