Most women in their forties don’t talk about their husbands. Why is this?

Recently I discovered a very interesting phenomenon. Most of the women who gather together and always talk about their boyfriends or husbands are women in their twenties and thirties. Women in their forties often remain silent about their husbands. Even when the conversation has begun, it's a different place for a 40-year-old woman. Do women this age not want to talk, or are they too old to talk about men all the time? Several people around my sister and I went to understand this discovery, but it turned out that it was not the case.

Sister Ding is 42 years old this year and is well-maintained. People who don’t know her would think she is still single. Besides having a baby face, there is another important reason. She never shares her happiness in her circle of friends, and rarely talks about her husband with colleagues and friends. I knew she was married because of her job, but she never told me about her husband and family in seven years. I had thought she might have been in an unhappy marriage and divorced a long time ago. She didn't do it voluntarily and I was embarrassed to ask her. Until one day, I got off work with her, and she said goodbye to me at the door of the company, "I want to go first, and my husband will pick me up." Then I found a car parked not far away, and she was walking very slowly. Later, when I went out to eat with Sister Ting and the atmosphere was good, she said: "You know what? I thought you were divorced because I have never met your husband and you rarely talk about our man." "What's there to talk about?" "I've been married for decades, and I've seen both good and bad." Maybe this is the magic of marriage.

For women in love and newly married women, life is full of excitement and freshness. However, as the two people get along day and night, these things are gradually replaced by ordinary life. As Sister Ting said, people have already shown off when they are in love. This joke is also a joke when the relationship between two people tends to become dull. Women in their 40s tend to be calm and rational when it comes to relationships. Men are very kind to themselves, as long as they know enough, telling others will only increase their admiration, and will not gain the slightest gain in the relationship between two people. If a man treats himself badly, there is no need to tell others. As long as he has not made up his mind to leave this person, all the sorrow and grief can only be borne by himself. It is useless to tell others.

If I have to name one or two reasons why women over 40 don’t talk to their husbands, I would like to summarize the following two reasons. First of all, his advantages are not worth mentioning. In love, men will work hard to win women's hearts, so women can easily feel happy. But for those women who are in marital exhaustion, men now think they are better than before. Since there is nothing to show off, there is no need to keep talking about men. Secondly, he doesn’t want to talk about his bad side. The truth is, there is no real empathy in this world. When you tell your colleagues and friends about a man's "inaction", when you type "love you" on the screen, you are just satisfying his desire to pry. If that's the case, why open the scar again and again for others to see? You might as well think about how to live your life.

To find out why women in their 40s don't talk about their husbands, take a look at what women are talking about when they talk about their men. What's the attraction when a woman talks to her friends about her man? The first is to satisfy a woman’s vanity. For example, when most women are in a relationship, if they are satisfied with a man, they can’t wait to show off their affection in WeChat Moments. The purpose of this is to show that she has found her happiness and wants more from this man and this relationship. At this time, when women talk to their friends about men, their eyes are full of happiness and attentiveness. What women want to hear most from their friends is "beauty, a match made in heaven", "your boyfriend is so handsome", etc.

Second, get recognition. When a woman talks about her husband, it's usually either to show off or to make fun of men. Women think that only women understand women. Therefore, when a woman is emotionally wronged, most women can't help but laugh at the female friends around them. A man should tell his friends about his behavior and let them comment. The purpose is to get everyone to criticize the man's behavior and gain a sense of recognition. This is more of a way for women to vent their emotions. As women get older, they have more control over their emotions, so even if a man annoys her at age 40, it's common for a woman to vent her emotions in other ways, such as being alone.

By understanding what women want, we can discover why men disappear among women over 40. This is partly because women tend to be rational and not easily moved by emotions. Second, because women think men have nothing to show off. Third, because no one will really care about who your husband is and how to deal with the problems between you, bystanders will listen to you with a more "eating melon" mentality. When it's over, it's gone. Why let yourself become someone else's talking point? Just because a woman keeps silent about a man does not mean that she is not happy. In the same way, those couples who show off their love in WeChat Moments every day may not be truly happy.

Emotional matters are like people knowing whether drinking water is warm or cold.