Jokes about myopia in life

1 stuttering (stuttering).

Once, a brother ran out of pen water, so he went to borrow pen water from brother Zhang. After entering the room, Lao Yu said, "Brother, I have run out of pen water. Lend me yours and I'll pay you back when I buy it. " Brother Zhang stammered, "Now ... now ... then ... then, you take ... take ... and use it". Before the word "use" could be said, Lao Yu came out with a pen and a water bottle.

(2) myopia and pockmarked face.

Lao Li is highly nearsighted and wears a pair of nearsighted glasses of nearly a thousand degrees. On a train trip, a pockmarked man sat opposite him. Lao Li put his face together and looked at it carefully and said, "Why is there still a sieve?" Pockmarked face looked at Lao Li and felt funny. Snow, he smiled and spat in Lao Li's face. Lao Li added, "Well, it's not a sieve, it's a watering can mouth! Funny and angry, Asako got up and moved to another seat. Then Lao Li said, "Why do people take watering cans? "? Then he shouted, "Police, someone is stealing, ..." 。

Well, there's nothing to say.

Once, my wife and I went to the hospital. I happened to meet my colleague Lao Li and went to see a doctor with his wife.

Lao Li's wife has a boil on her foot, which hurts when she walks. So every time I change places, Lao Li carries her back.

After returning home, my wife often complains to me that Lao Li is good to her daughter-in-law, and her daughter-in-law is sick, so that others can not be too tired. Can you do it?

No choice, I have to say: who doesn't want to recite such a beautiful little wife, but can Lao Li agree?

There is another ridiculous thing.

One night more than twenty years ago, several colleagues invited me to the Red Star Factory to see a movie. After dinner, I grabbed a vest and left.

My arm went in when I went out to wear it, but I couldn't find a place to drill it. I thought, what kind of broken vest is this? Why can't I find the drill for a long time?

When I took off my vest, it was not a vest, but a pair of white underwear.

The story happened in senior three. A group of warm-blooded young people with military complex made up all kinds of lies about headache and brain fever, and went to the class teacher for leave. Basically, most of them have succeeded in asking for leave, because in the sprint stage of high school, the general physical discomfort will be valued and understood by teachers. Only a few people who have been kicked in the head by donkeys have not asked for leave, because their reasons for asking for leave are too exaggerated and frequent, such as:

Written application for leave

Teacher XX:

Because my cows are born prematurely, my parents are not at home, and my grandparents are old and need to go home to take care of them. I hereby take three days off. Hope to agree!

Student: Don't be silly.

Ni Xiding's daughter-in-law didn't see her husband coming home, so she went to her mother-in-law's house to find him. Seeing my father-in-law washing his face, he asked, Dad, I am happy, but my father-in-law is not happy. Go on washing his face. The daughter-in-law thought her father-in-law was deaf and asked loudly, Dad, where is Ni Xiding? Father-in-law is furious: I am washing my face! ! !