Tell a joke you haven't heard.

A farmer went to a car sales center and saw him take out 2000 yuan and pat it on the table: "Give me a Santana!" " "

The salesman was surprised: "You don't have enough money!"

The farmer is puzzled: "Isn't Santana 2000 written outside?"

Shop assistant: "Oh … then go out and turn right. The Mercedes-Benz of that company is only 600~ "

An administrative official said indignantly after reading the newspaper: "There are so many extramarital affairs, what society!"

The official's wife replied, "Yes, everyone should be arrested and shot!" "

The official stared thoughtfully at his wife. "Tell me honestly, we have been married for so many years?"

"How can you ask such a question?" The police officer's wife asked in surprise.

"Don't run, answer my question!"

"Well," Mrs. Guan was obviously afraid, "promise me that you won't hit me first."

"I haven't hit my wife for a long time." He said with emotion.

"All right," said Mrs. Guan with a cross heart and a gnashing of teeth, "just three times."

"Three times? ! "The official is very anxious. "Which three times?"

"For the first time, do you remember your doctoral exam at the University of Chicago, and an examiner made things difficult for you in every way, just not letting you pass? If you don't get a doctorate, your family will be humiliated and our future will be ruined. Later, the difficult professor personally came to our house to congratulate you on passing, because I ... "

"No wonder you did it for me ... the second time?"

"The second time, do you remember when you were an ambassador in South America, and the king of that country threatened to break diplomatic relations with China? If you break off diplomatic relations, you will become a diplomatic ambassador and your political future will be over. Later, the king suddenly changed his mind and stopped talking about breaking diplomatic relations because I ... "

"Oh, you still did it for me ... the third time?"

"The third time, do you remember that you were nominated as the Premier, and when the Legislative Yuan voted, you were still short of 72 1 vote? ………"

In a remote mountainous area, a woman is naturally fond of showing off. Shortly after the marriage, her man went out to do business, and the woman was having an affair with her lover in the house. Halfway through, listening to the footsteps outside, the woman hurriedly put on her lover's sheepskin coat and hid in the backyard sheepfold.

The man came back to pull the woman to have sex, and the woman refused. The man was so hungry that he went to the backyard to catch a sheep. It happened that this sheep was faked by that woman's lover. After sex, the man went back to his room and got up in the middle of the night to catch sheep to vent.

In the morning, the man got up, thinking back to last night, thinking that the sheep smelled, went to the backyard, grabbed the sheep and was about to act. The sheep suddenly stood up and said, "Are you fucking crazy? Am I the only sheep in the sheepfold? "

One day three ghosts met God when they were shopping! They told God that they died miserably and hoped to send them to heaven! God said helplessly, there are too many residents in the sky now, and they are all full. But there's another place! You said, whoever dies the worst will go to heaven! So, the first ghost began to say ...

I was a cleaner before I died. Work is very hard! Busy from morning till night! One day, I was cleaning windows outside a building! It's the kind of dangerous work hanging outside at high altitude! On the 30th floor! Suddenly, my foot slipped and fell! I think it's over! I'm dying! But the survival instinct makes me scratch unconsciously! Luckily, I grabbed the railing of a balcony on 13 floor. I feel saved! So I want to climb up after I recover! Who knows, suddenly someone patted my hand and I fell down again! I think I'm really finished now! However, my life should not be doomed. A tent blocked me. I am glad that I must have accumulated virtue in my last life! I want to wait for my physical strength to recover before I go down. Who knows, a refrigerator fell from it and killed me!

The second ghost said … I was a clerk before my death. Everything is fine. I have a beautiful wife. Great figure! But it's just a little dishonest. I have a slight heart attack. One day I forgot to bring my medicine to work, so I went home to get it. As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife's hair disheveled and disheveled. There must be something fishy in this. So I looked everywhere in the house, kitchen and toilet, but I couldn't find it. When I got to the balcony, I found two hands on the railing, and I thought, Where are you going? So he patted his hand. I think, 13 floor! See if I can fall to my death! As a result, I didn't die when I looked at it! Caught by the tent! I was in a hurry, so I searched all over the house and went into the kitchen. I found that the refrigerator was big enough and threw it away. Finally smashed him to death! I'm so happy! Laughing a lot. Who knows, laughing so hard, laughing so hard!

The third ghost said ... I'm a punk, but I didn't do anything wrong! One day I went to a female friend's house to hang out! Just finished, her husband suddenly came back! I have to find a place to hide. So I searched the kitchen and toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in it! I don't understand how her husband knew I was in the refrigerator and threw it from the 13 floor! I just fell to my death in my refrigerator.

Two tomatoes went shopping. The first tomato suddenly walked very fast. The second tomato asked, "Where are we going?"

The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again.

The first tomato didn't answer, and the second tomato asked again.

The first tomato finally turned slowly and said, "Aren't we tomatoes?" Can we talk?

When Ron came out of the bathhouse, he met Hermione, whom he had longed for for for a long time. He tried to be friendly, but he didn't speak for a long time. "Are there many men taking a bath?"

Once upon a time, there was a Snape in a mental hospital, dressed in black and wearing a black umbrella every day, sitting at the door of the hospital.

Madam Pomfrey believes that "to cure him, we should start by understanding him."

So Pomfrey also squatted at the door in black with a black umbrella.

They spent a month in silence. ...

Finally, Snape spoke ...

"Excuse me ... are you ... a mushroom?"