The most classic joke in history

1. Eat more bitterness when you are young, and you will get used to it when you are old.

The most disloyal thing in the world is money. We agreed to go out together, and then it wouldn't come back with me. The most loyal thing is meat, you can't get rid of it!

The Chinese teacher is reading "Eternal Happiness in Jingkou, Nostalgia in Gu Beiting" on the platform. I said to my deskmate, "Is this word written by Xin Qiji?" My deskmate gave me a look and interrupted me: "How should I know? Maybe it's Sunday! "

When I went to school in the morning, I only wore a long sleeve. My mother handed me a coat and said, put it on quickly, or I will be frozen in class. Absolutely mom, no problem!

5. blind date, the woman asked me if I had ever been in love before? I went there. I must have talked about it. Narcissism is dominant, supplemented by unrequited love.

Six. The three most uncomfortable things about going to college are: watching the results of the academic show, watching couples show their love, and watching local tyrants show off their wealth; Three things that are even more uncomfortable than this are: watching Xueba show love, watching local tyrants show results, and watching couples show off their wealth.

7. I didn't like to eat when I was a child, which led to my short stature; I love eating now, which makes me fat and short. Embrace your chubby self in danger.

Eight. Twenty is not confused, only thirty, I am stuck in the middle, confused.

Nine. Compare grades when I was a child. Compare wages when you grow up. Now you have to compare your steps when you walk. Leave me alone, I just want to be an undisputed garbage, but I really did it before I found out that even garbage should be classified!

10. Self-cultivation of girls taking photos: take only one selfie out of 3,000.

XI。 Since my parents can play WeChat. I am not sentimental, sad, loving, and take photos without revealing my clothes. The whole person is full of positive energy.

12. It is said that persimmons and crabs will be poisoned when eaten together. It's a little hard to let go. Persimmons are all ready, but now we need crabs. Do you think I don't like it? Send me a few Jin of crabs.

Thirteen. In love, you should let your boyfriend cook, wash dishes, wash clothes and make money everywhere.

Fourteen. Three magic weapons to establish friendship between women: praise each other's clothes; Share hot gossip; Agree that a man is a special scum.

Sometimes, when I say "I'm fine", I just hope someone can look me in the eye, hold me tightly, say "I know you're not good", and then take out a pile of big bills and put them in my arms.

Sixteen years old. "Do you have a cold?" "Well, is my voice a little hoarse?" "No, the first time I saw you smoking, one nostril didn't smoke."

Seventeen. My dad drank too much at night and was helped home by several uncles. They put my dad on the sofa. I gave it a ride when my uncles left. After the delivery, just after I came back and closed the door, my father gave me a big slap in the face: coming back so late!

18. In fact, ancient people were optimistic, and when they had a little leisure time, they pondered how to live forever. Modern people calm down and collapse in bed after a busy day, and there are only four words in their hearts: I don't want to live.

19. Recently, people have always humiliated me. They said, why are you so thin? Don't you have some stinking money? Isn't it great to have a good date? Oh, I am so angry!

Twenty. Do you like small animals? Me: Of course. How much do you like it? Me: I don't know, every meal!

2 1. I went to work for the first time in my sophomore summer vacation. In a Thai restaurant, the supervisor asked us to put our hands together and tell the customers about Sawadika. I was very nervous when I saw a beautiful woman. I put my hands together and said amitabha.

22. Four expectations to support the progress of life: waiting for work, waiting for Friday, waiting for salary, waiting for express delivery!

23. Have you considered each other's feelings every time you curse? Anyway, I do. I try not to use dialect, for fear that the other party will not understand.

I found a wallet on the side of the road. Just when I didn't know what to do, a little man popped up in my head and said, find the owner and return it to the original owner. Then it dawned on me that I packed my wallet and went home, because I couldn't trust the villain.