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Humorous autobiography
Humorous autobiography 1 just to commemorate my satisfaction after getting up at two o'clock in the morning to eat and drink. ...
Knees are warm, it should be said that they are tightly covered. At that time, it was a kind of clothing called windbreaker, and it was not afraid of wasting cloth when it died. It was once popular in boys' dormitory after 80s. ...
Because I admire a Hong Kong film "Young and Dangerous" and like the people, stories and virtues in it, I changed my name to A B without a father. After graduating from senior one, the "school leaving ceremony" naturally broke my confession of "adult ceremony". On that day, I put on my crazy windbreaker for a long time. Unexpectedly, those two splendid ceremonies and my windbreaker with infinite light were a little worse than expected, because I was kicked out by my uncle. This is also a joke that we will often laugh at in the future. It is said that my uncle's feet are an international biography. Kicked me from campus to society, turned a corner and went to campus again. (Don't explain the eighteen bends of mountain road)
Winter will make me feel a little distressed and a little nostalgic. I think winter will pass faster, especially that year. I am distressed because I will be "kicked out of the house" after the year. That's not the point. I just don't know if there is any homemade bacon outside that has fascinated me all my life. Later, when I was living and studying in Hunan, I was surprised to find another kind of meat, bacon, which was equally beautiful. Miss is because there is a happy festival in winter, which … is not the point, but only in this festival can there be a lot of bacon to eat, and parents will not scold you if you eat too much. So in the mature years, I deeply realized two things: 1, winter is born by my stepmother, and I am looked down upon as urine, so I have always hated "Third Sister" in these years when I grew up. I have successfully endorsed pork and food in obscurity. I am who I am. I represent myself.
I am single-minded. Although a winter has passed, I still have a soft spot for my windbreaker. After the Lantern Festival, I know I can't get through. Anyway, it's a result. Be smart. A suitcase with no bright color at all and that god-like windbreaker took me from Jiangnan to the south with a cruel heart. Later, a friend praised me as "really capable, so I went from the south to the south at such a young age." After listening, I thought about it for almost two minutes. I hesitated, felt sad, struggled, and finally decided to break up with him. How can a person who doesn't know me be my friend? I have ideals and revenge, okay? When I got back, I cried with the quilt in my arms. This is what he told me later, and I forgave him.
It is hotter in the south. Even if I am infatuated with winter, after experiencing spring, I will not want to ignore the story of summer. I am horny and want to have an affair with summer. Summer, in Hunan-happiness! I dare not use any other words to describe it easily. Many words are wordy, and few words are inappropriate. Changsha, a city full of delicious shrimps in the air, has degenerated streets, Wang Yao Street which was not covered by 1938 Wenxi fire, Pozi Street, a paradise for eating food, and a bar street dedicated to picking up girls. Streets are prosperous and beautiful. Later, in bacon and national color, I was successfully conquered by national color. In this way, I fell in love with Hunan, and my purity was ravaged by Hunan people …
Friends who broke up in those days forgave him again, just for today. I am here. I was finally released from the south. I have always been strict with myself, working hard and taking going to the north as the highest goal. I am so excited that I can't express my inner joy in words at this moment. I just want to say: thank you CCTV, thank you Mango TV, thank you TV, MV…… ...
Is it easy for me? In such a grandiose age, I not only managed to survive, but also persisted in my hobbies and dreams. In the process of continuous learning and experience, I make persistent efforts and be positive. Over the years, I have not only adhered to my hobby of eating meat, but also cultivated my interest in wealth and color. Therefore, the self-recommendation label: "People die for wealth, birds die for food, and I love both food and wealth, so I am a bird man."
Day, month. That classmate A B has grown up and become A B times 2.
Humorous autobiography 2 hello everyone! My name is Zhong. I am a short girl. I will never forget to smile on my face every day.
I have big watery eyes and long black hair over my shoulders. I am strong, and my little nails are like crystal plates.
I am humorous. When you are happy, almost all the words can make your classmates laugh from ear to ear. Once, I met my classmate on the road, and I said to him, "I heard that you have a chicken at home." He proudly said, "Yes, it's cuter than me!" " ""I'm cuter than your chicken! " I said. Our mothers all laughed. Another time, our family was watching the news. I saw the informant's surname was Leng, and I said, "His daughter must be Leng." Our whole family laughed out of breath.
Ah! This is the humorous me, and this is me who brings laughter to everyone every day.
Humorous autobiography article 3 I avoid your surname Zhang, and the name is a bit verbose. When I am proud, I call it decoration and dancing. When you are confused, you are called Zhang Guan Dai Li; When you are frustrated, you are tongue-tied and flustered!
I graduated from Fushun No.2 Middle School and was admitted to Dalian University of Technology. The first time I saw the sea, my heart surged: "Ah, the sea, my mother!" " "A big wave, lower body all wet," ah! It's stepmother! "There is a classmate in the dormitory who pays special attention to hygiene. Every time he comes back from the toilet, he washes his hands repeatedly. Suddenly, he stopped washing his hands. Curious, he asked, "Why don't you wash your hands?" He gave me a white look: "Why? I brought toilet paper! "A classmate of my roommate fell in love with Albanian female students at first sight and agreed to go to Xinghai Park the next day. After chatting for a while, the classmate said, "I'm going to the toilet!" " "The girl wondered: What is convenience? Looking at my classmate, I saw him in the toilet! Well, people in China call the toilet convenient. When breaking up, the girl said, "When will you come to my place to play?" The classmate replied, "Suit yourself." The girl blushed: "Ah!"
After graduation, I went back to work as a lathe worker in a machinery factory. The workshop director came to introduce me. That's his sister-in-law I asked him how he was, and a: Better than your sister-in-law! Eyes are clear and beautiful. You stand on her left, and her eyes look to the right. You stand on her right and her eyes look to the left. I said cross-eyed! He said he was in good shape and weighed 85 Jin. I said he was a little thin, and he said it was the weight of one leg. I asked, what about the other end? A: "1.6 meters, 1.7 meters" I said, why can't you talk? What is this? He said that he stood upright1.7m, stepped1.6m, "1.6m,1.7m,1.7m". He said he was lame when he walked. I said no: "You can't find such a beautiful girl even if you don't like it!" " One day, a teacher in the workshop asked me to go swimming for the first time. I said no, the water was too heavy, so they peed in the water. The teacher told me to pee, too! He went alone. At noon, I received a phone call from him: "Give me money and let others be punished!" " Why? I want to pee in the water. I asked the administrator how he knew, and replied, "I peed on the platform!" " "The next day, he went again. At noon he called for money to pick him up. He said he still peed on the stage because he peed in the water. He said, "Yesterday, he was fined and angry. When the breaststroke urinates, it's like a yellow line pulled by an airplane, and the administrator found it again! "In the 1970s, housing was tight and several generations often lived together. One day when Class Two came home, he saw Master Wang still wandering in front of the door and asked him why he didn't sleep. He said: "Don't mention it, my wife gave birth to a child and squeezed me out! "
When working in the company, Yang Qite, director of the office, will come to the meeting. One day I went to a restaurant to eat, and everyone was almost here. At this moment, Director Li came: "Hey! How many people are there here! " Yang Lima pointed to the waitress: "Tea!" The woman hurriedly said, "One two three four five six seven ..." Yang shouted, "Pour the tea!" The woman hurried: "765432 1", and Yang Ji: "What are you counting?" Woman: "It's a dog!" After eating for a while, a pot of turtle soup came up. Yang nodded the turtle's head with chopsticks: "Leadership, leadership to eat!" " Li Ju was embarrassed and drank a spoonful of soup: "Let's drink!" Yang replied, "Yes, the tortoise eats soup!" " Yang left one cup and right one drank twice as much as the director. After a while, he was anxious and went out to ask the waiter, "Where is the hand room?" Yang went out through the second door on the right and hurried into a room. He saw a spittoon urinating, and suddenly he heard someone shout, "Don't pour! Don't fall! Drink it. " Yang saw a table of people drinking and hurried back to the house: "This restaurant is so hot that even the toilet has a table!" " "Out of the hotel, Yang to pee again, hurry to the corner. Just about to pee, the two chengguan will pay him a fine. Yang Yi nasty: "what's the matter? Take out your things and see if you can! "After returning home, Yang had loose bowels and went to the doctor to complain:" Alas! Eat watermelon, eat watermelon, eat beans, eat beans, just don't shit. What should I do? " The doctor looked at him for a while and said solemnly, "it seems that you have to eat badly!" " "
Later, I came to work in an old cadre's office and organized a charter tour. The guide on the bus told everyone who wanted to go to the toilet to stop, saying that going to the toilet was unsightly and that I wanted to sing! After driving for a while, Mr. Chen has an enlarged prostate and frequent urination: "Driver, I want to sing!" " "The driver felt that he didn't stop immediately after walking for a while. After a while, another lesbian wanted to sing. The driver stopped the car and the two of them got off in a hurry. Several lesbians came back, and then Mr. Chen came back. The driver was unhappy: "Why are you so slow? He's already back! Chen: If she sings with her mouth open, I have to use the microphone! "Mr. Chen is an honest man. Once we were walking together in the riverside park, two puppies were mating on the lawn, and a lesbian happened to take a 14-or 15-year-old child. The child asked, "Mom, what are they doing?" The woman replied, "Fight! Mr. Chen listened and said, "Is this a fight?" How is it a fight? "The woman said angrily," what do you mean this is not a fight? Huh? "Catch it. Mr. Chen quickly stepped back and said, "What? You want to fight me! "
At present, I have retired, and my daily activities are walking, surfing the Internet, dancing yangko and doing some housework to support my life!
Humorous autobiography 4 xx autobiography
When I mention my hometown-along the river in Guizhou, people will naturally think of the 1998 catastrophic flood.
197x I was born in NANBERT ZHONG, a small county town along the Yangtze River that disintegrated that year. My 1 ~ 5 years old was spent in Hainan Island, because my father served in a certain army in Hainan Island, and we lived there with the army for several years. Then he and his father went back to their hometown.
My father had a great influence on me when I was growing up. Dad has been in the army for many years, and he has integrated the unique temperament of a former soldier-frankness and sureness into his blood and words and deeds, so I have been adhering to some "dad's ambitions" in my ears more or less.
Although my family is poor, it is harmonious and warm. Living a simple but fulfilling life in a simple and simple environment. When I was 6 years old, I began to study. I have been studying elementary school and junior high school in a school in the county. Because I am cheerful, the class teacher always sends me as a study committee member and never forgets to give me a "good job" as a cultural and recreational committee member. So under the attack of "two jobs", I gradually developed the habit of doing things and studying in a planned way. Therefore, I am still very grateful to my teachers.
After graduating from junior high school, I was admitted to No.1 Middle School and continued my student life. However, in the next semester of senior three, a serious illness came unexpectedly, because it meant that I had to take dozens more exams than others before I could go to the same school in the second year of the college entrance examination. Dad taught me another lesson at this time. He said that it is meaningless to feel sorry for yourself and complain about yourself. The key is to face the present and the future. After the college entrance examination, I was only admitted to Changde Teachers College, but I stopped complaining and studied hard. When I graduated, I won the first place in the comprehensive evaluation of the whole department. By the way, I was kidnapped with a lot of certificates of "three good students" and "excellent learning cadres".
Dad's honesty and frankness made our family have no "big official" friends, so although I was awarded the first place in comprehensive evaluation, I was assigned to a relatively remote rural middle school. With the admiration of leaders, the love of colleagues and the simplicity of study, I also concentrated on staying there, living seriously, and occasionally participating in open classes and competition classes in the city; Occasionally send two teaching papers in the municipal education commission or the county education commission. But my father changed my life again. My father used to be a soldier, but now he is a big boss, so I tried my best to find my father, invited him to take a trip, and walked more than half of China. After I came back, my father instilled an idea in me: Young people should study more, go outside for knowledge, and go to open cities in the south for exercise. So, I chose to apply for the postgraduate of Sun Yat-sen University. In the autumn of 1998, I came to Guangzhou.
In Sun Yat-sen University, although I am a stranger, my tutor and brother take good care of me, and my father has been "accompanying" me. I think I will definitely become a brand-new me and continue to take my own life path seriously and practically.
I am going to graduate now, and I will continue to pursue the most valuable ideal in life-I hope to help others through what I have learned.
Humor autobiography 5 I am xxx, female, Han nationality, born in xxx on X, X, X, X.
I graduated from xxx on 20 15. For various reasons, I chose xxx instead of studying in xxx. But I was lucky, where I met many teachers and classmates who were very kind to me. I am petite, and I have many nicknames, such as primary school bully, Xiao Douding, Xiao Douniu ... Classics: Primary school bully, naughty again, right? Primary school bully, bullying people again, right? That bean guy, eat more, or he won't grow tall ... He has been working hard for three years in high school, but unfortunately he failed in the college entrance examination. I am not reconciled. I finally chose to study for another year, and then I came to our Guang Cai. I am about to meet my lovely friends! Finally, the weak statement, I am not fierce at all, I am very smart! Besides, I'm not short at all, just petite!
In high school, I once participated in some drama performances, such as Lin Daiyu, Jia Fu and Hamlet in a Dream of Red Mansions. , and naughty online. Guess who I played in a dream of red mansions? I'll tell you if I guess right, and I'll tell you if I guess wrong! It's Lin Daiyu, who knows her heart better than she does, and is as abnormal as winning three points in calligraphy! From then on, it was called petite version of Lin Daiyu! Now my bad friend is trying to find that video ... well, I also participated in the English dubbing contest! This is Kung Fu Panda! When I was a monitor in senior three, I was laughed at as a two-faced man! Seriously in the classroom, going back to the dormitory to play crazily than anyone else! Four years in high school, all chemistry class representatives! Tut tut, why am I so cute? (a little narcissistic)
I seldom take part in extracurricular activities! I am afraid of running because of the sequelae left by junior high school physical exercise. Over time, I'm tired of running twice now. However, in college, I set myself a big goal, running every day, at least two laps! It's scary to think about it! Come on, I can do it!
What is my college life like? I want to spend 70% of my time studying, 20% of my time working and studying, and 10% of my time participating in club activities to enrich myself. My freshman goal is to join the party, pass CET-4, and be a computer geek at present. I also plan to take the postgraduate entrance examination, hoping to enrich myself and improve myself. And, and, and, important things said three times, I want to practice writing! I want to practice calligraphy! I want to practice calligraphy! Woohoo, my handwriting is so ugly!
The Forbidden City in Beijing, the Great Wall in Wan Li, the West Lake in Hangzhou, Jiuzhaigou, the Flower Sea in Provence ... Ah ... My dream of traveling is so big that I want to see it (the heart of the prodigal son). As a snack, how can you give up the journey of traveling and eating? The world is big, food and tourism can't live up to it! However, there is still a gap between reality and ideal, so I want to live a good life in front of me and then pursue my poetry and distance!
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