What are the short paragraphs in the book Backward is a Pig?

One day, I said to a friend, "You are a pig."

He said, "I'm a pig, I'm not."

From now on, I will call him "pig".

One day, he couldn't bear it anymore and said to me, "I'm not a pig!" " "

A man kept a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost."

It is late at night, and the pig is crying sadly. Mother asked, "Why are you crying?" The pig said, "I feel stupid." His mother comforted him: "Don't cry, son, the person watching this joke is more stupid than you."

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One day, I said to a friend, "You are a pig."

He said, "I'm a pig, I'm not."

From now on, I will call him "pig".

One day, he couldn't bear it anymore and said to me, "I'm not a pig!" " "

A man kept a pig. He was annoyed with it and wanted to throw it away, but the pig knew the way home and threw it many times without success. One day, the man abandoned the pig and took a bus. He called his wife that night and asked, "Does the pig return?" His wife said, "Go home." The man was very angry and shouted, "put it on the phone quickly, I'm lost."

It is late at night, and the pig is crying sadly. Mother asked, "Why are you crying?" The pig said, "I feel stupid." His mother comforted him: "Don't cry, son, the person watching this joke is more stupid than you."

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……

abstract

Excerpts from books

If there is such a student, I will definitely let him pass.

Who hasn't died since ancient times?

In Chinese class ...

"Classmate! There is a poem:' Who has not died since ancient times?' You take the next sentence! "

Poor classmate A doesn't study hard at ordinary times. how do you know

However, I only saw his calm answer: "Who didn't have shit since ancient times and who didn't use paper for defecation?"

After next semester, there is no trace of classmate A. ...

But the next year, the students and teachers met again!

In class, the teacher asked the same question again.

"Classmate! There is a poem:' Who has not died since ancient times?' You take the next sentence! "

This time, the student learned to be smart. He said slowly:

"Since ancient times, whose life has no shit,

Who can shit without paper?

If you don't use toilet paper,

Unless you use your finger. "

The teacher was very angry after listening!

But it can't be shown, and students can only be coldly asked to stand up as punishment.

Then, the teacher saw the falling snow outside the window and said with emotion:

"It snows and it doesn't rain,

Snow will turn into rain when it falls to the ground.

How troublesome it is to turn into rain,

Why didn't it rain at first? "

Words haven't say that finish, standing for punishment of students will regrets ground answer the teacher:

"Teachers don't eat shit,

Rice turns into shit when it reaches the stomach.

How troublesome it is to turn into shit,

Why didn't you eat shit at first? "

Teacher: "... # @ $%&"

In the final exam, there is only one topic in Chinese!

The topic is: Numbers (a truly learned topic).

Although the students were completely unprepared, the candidates wrote the following poem on the test paper!

"Look at the paper, blind, can't think twice, limbs weakness, fever, hair is burning, surrounded by enemies. A narrow escape is very painful. It is better to go home if you want to do everything ... "