Who has a joke? tell me

In the middle of the night, there is no light in the toilet. You go to relieve yourself, fall into the toilet, fight maggots, compete with shit, no one saves you, die heroically, live a great life, and die silently. In memory of you, the toilet is equipped with lights! When you smile, the wolf will hang himself. When you scream, the chicken flies and the dog jumps. When you stop, that smell permeates your whole body. Lice is a disaster when you sweat. Uglier than a ghost when you're not dressed. As soon as you dress up, the ghost becomes paralyzed! 3. One day, Cao Cao went to visit Jiang Gan, held Jiang Gan's hand and said enthusiastically, "Fuck, how is your mother?" Jiang Gan fainted and didn't wake up for a long time. He said excitedly, "Fuck, how is your family?" Cao Cao immediately vomited blood and died! The fool stole the beggar's wallet, and the blind man saw it. The mute gave a roar, which startled the deaf. Camels come forward and lame people fly. Asako said, "Look at my face." The madman said, "that is, people should be rational!" " "5. In a military exercise, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to look at it found that the shells landed in the farmland, and you stood in the field, dressed in rags and with a dark face. You said with tears in your eyes, "I just stole a cabbage." Is it necessary to shell? "Am I easy for me?" 6. Love is empty, love is empty, I wander in the street; People are empty, money is empty, and a single bad karma is at work; Things are different, business is empty, and it is crazy to think about it; The mobile phone is empty, there is no money to charge, and life is not easy. Anyway, all four are empty! 7. Just graduated: Brothers, see you soon! One year after graduation: brothers, there will be wives in the future! Later: Brothers, regret marrying a wife! Later: Brothers, there will be a stepmother! Finally: Brothers, repent and turn over a new leaf, and marry! 8. A farmer was stopped by the police for driving into the city. Reason: No license plate! The farmer found a woman's board, wrote a card and hung it up. The police fainted immediately after reading it! ! The brand number reads: Niu B-74 1 10!

(1) Four surgeons sit around and talk about who they like to operate on. The first doctor said, "I like operating on librarians best." When you open their bodies, everything in them is arranged alphabetically. " The second doctor said, "I like operating on accountants best." When you open their bodies, everything is arranged in numerical order. " The third doctor said, "I like operating on electricians best." When you open their bodies, everything is color coded. " The fourth doctor said, "I like operating on Japanese best." The other three doctors looked at each other in disbelief. One of them asked what. The fourth doctor said, because they have no heart and no spine, and their butts and heads are interchangeable.

(2) A man called a Japanese businessman and said, "I'm looking for Mr. Taro." The operator said, "I'm sorry, he died last week." The next day, the man called again and wanted to speak to Kazutaro. This time the operator was a little annoyed and said, "I always told you that he died last week." Why are you calling? " The man said, "Because I just like listening."

(3) A Japanese eats in a restaurant in China. When the waiter brought a panlong shrimp, the Japanese asked, what should I do with the remaining shrimp shells? ""Of course, "said the waiter." Don't! Don't! Don't! "The Japanese shook his head and said," In Japan, the leftover shrimp shells are sent to the factory to make shrimp cakes, and then they are sold to you in China. "After a while, the waiter brought a plate of fruit, and the Japanese pointed to one of the lemons and asked," What should I do with the remaining lemon peel? ""Of course, "said the waiter." Don't! Don't! Don't! The Japanese shook his head and said, "In Japan, the leftover lemon peel is sent to the factory and then sold to you in China. "When checking out, the Japanese asked the waiter with a smile while chewing gum," What should I do with the remaining gum? ""Of course I threw up, "said the waiter." Don't! Don't! Don't! "The Japanese shook his head and said proudly," In Japan, chewed gum is sent to the factory to make condoms and then sold to you in China. The waiter asked impatiently, "Do you know how to deal with used condoms in China?" "Throw it away, of course. "Japanese humanity. The waiter shook his head and said, "No! Don't! Don't! In China, used condoms are sent to factories, made into chewing gum and then sold to you. "

4) A taxi is driving on the way to Chicago airport, and a Japanese tourist is riding on it. At this moment, a taxi passed by and the Japanese shouted, "Look, Toyota! Made in Japan! How fast! " After a while, another taxi passed by. "Look, Nissan! It's made in Japan! It's too early! " Another taxi passed by. "ah! It's Mitsubishi made in Japan! Very fast! " Taxi drivers are 100% American. Seeing that so many Japanese cars have surpassed their American cars, coupled with the arrogant language of the Japanese, he is a little annoyed. When another taxi overtook it, the taxi pulled into the airport parking lot. "It's Honda! Made in Japan! Very fast! There is no medicine to save! " The taxi driver stopped and pointed angrily at the meter and said, "1500 dollars." "So close to 1500 dollars? ! ""forget it! Made in Japan! Very fast! There is no medicine to save! "

There is an American, a German, a Japanese and an American on the plane. Halfway through, the plane suddenly ran out of gas. The captain announced that someone had to jump off the plane to reduce the weight, so the American showed personal heroism and went to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live America and other countries! ! Then I jumped! The plane continued to fly ... at this moment, the captain announced that the weight was still too heavy, and one person had to jump! So the Germans stood up, walked to the door of the plane and shouted: Long live the German Empire! Jumped down, too The plane continued to fly ... At this moment, the captain announced: No, it's still heavy, and one more person must jump! China glanced at the Japanese, stood up and walked to the hatch of the plane. The Japanese rushed to hold China's hand: Good brother, I won't forget you! The people of China shouted: Long live the people and country of China! ! Then I kicked the Japanese down with one foot! ! ......

This is my space, not enough.