Complain and spit

Originally, I was prepared to complain and spit out some words that were beneficial to me from the perspective of my own behavior and thoughts. But I looked up some information, and I felt that I had been slapped in the face after a book (New World: Spiritual Awakening) was involved.

Let's popularize what is complaining and spitting.

Tucao: In response to the outrageous words and deeds of the tucao, respond to the other party in an objective, fair and uncontroversial way, so as to achieve the purpose of teasing or emotional entertainment. Synonyms include "raising the bar", "raising the old base", "tearing down the platform" and "kicking out", while gossiping, complaining, venting, blackening, complaining and gossiping under the banner of spitting do not belong to spitting. Tucao is a very artistic, entertaining and technical thing.

Complain: it means dissatisfied and complaining. Express your sadness, pain or dissatisfaction with people and things. It's talking about things it doesn't want or like. For example, I work so hard, earn so little, work overtime all the time, and the environment is really bad. ........................................................................................................................................., the leader is so unreasonable. At the same time, people who have no self-confidence sometimes want to escape their weak position by complaining, or show that they are better than others by complaining.

The first person to say that I love complaining is Wan Zong. About three years ago, he gave me a book "A World Without Complaints", and I was very angry about it. Then my cousin said a few months ago that I like to complain in front of many people. I talked about some people and things I met at work, and I argued that I was spitting. Maybe I've been a little radical and cynical recently, but that's what the man across the street told me. After all, people know themselves through interaction with others and feedback from others. Need introspection.

Sitting in the right position, I found that I really often complained that station A and the barrage were the real spit. On reflection, I have never heard Wan Zong and his cousin complain. Maybe straight men like them don't understand some words and deeds of women. On second thought, I found that men seldom complain, but the younger they are, the more they will complain when they are free.

Before writing these words, I want to defend people like me, because I think, after all, we will feel much better after complaining and venting. For example, I often feel that I need to send a circle of friends to vent my personal anger. I am very aware of the power of language. Although we can't change the facts, we still continue to do things and adapt to other people's bad patterns, but we "talk to each other" and feel understood and recognized instantly, and then our hearts will be much cleaner. If complaining can really achieve this effect, why not?

By definition, the language we usually use can't be counted as spit, but complaints and dissatisfaction. Even if we can adjust, perceive and deal with emotions soon, we still can't change the nature of complaints.

Ok, let's look at the complaint.

The essence of complaining

There are two kinds of complaints, one is complaining that others are unfair to themselves and complaining about others; The other is the bad environment, complaining about this environment.

Complain because it concerns our own interests. If it's not related to our own interests, we won't complain, but only describe the facts at most.

When we criticize and blame others, we feel superior and powerful.

When any complaint arises, there is a premise: I am right and others are wrong. When we want to complain, we all hope that someone can know, either say it to others or write it for others to see, so that we can feel comfortable.

Once we start complaining, we will find many reasons to prove that I am right and others are wrong. Just like when we quarrel, we are always looking for various historical evidences to criticize each other. At this time, we will not think about each other's good. Even if we are reminded, we will be ignored. We often say in this tone: "Although he was kind to me before, this time he has gone too far!"! I hate such people the most! "

Once there is a "but", the previous description is only a foreshadowing.

Each of us has a "self" in our hearts. We often hear people say "I can't stand myself", but I just can't stand that "self". We sometimes lose our temper and can't control ourselves. That ego is "ego", and the characteristic of "ego" is to prove and strengthen itself.

Complaining is a means for "ego" to prove and strengthen itself.

Complaining and blaming will make us feel superior, think that we are right and others are wrong, as if we are defending the truth, so the "self" will complain every chance.

Those who complain are dominated by the ego, while those who don't complain are well controlled by the ego.

In fact, truth never needs to be defended, or whether it is defended or not, the truth is there.

How not to complain?

Observe our "self". Once we realize its existence, it will weaken or even disappear. Every time I get emotional, I will say to myself: Hey, that "self" has started again. Let me see what it really wants.

When others complain to us, if we realize that their "ego" is at work, we will become very calm.

There are idiots and wonderful flowers in this world. Idiots are divided into cute idiots and unlovable idiots, and exotic flowers are divided into beautiful exotic flowers and ugly exotic flowers.

Idiot here means that we often use it, not a physical disease.

And exotic flowers and exotic grasses, originally meaning exotic and beautiful flowers, are often used to describe unusual outstanding literary works or very outstanding people. Now the metaphor is unconventional and full of personality.

In fact, although I have read some books, I feel as if I can't stop complaining for the time being. Because I, a beautiful flower, will continue to get along with cute and unlovable idiots and beautiful and unsightly flowers, and I will let myself enjoy creating a sense of high value from my low work while complaining.

People always use two sets of standards, being harsh on others and tolerant of themselves. At the same time, there is nothing wrong with calling others hypocritical. I hate people gossiping and gossiping behind others' backs. The standard of measuring others has become understandable to us. Seriously, who are you to observe and guess others?

However, I have decided to apply what I have learned as soon as possible after reading the book, and I will no longer complain so much, have unreasonable expectations and be so depressed.

So, what about you?

Are you sitting right?

Is that clear?