Ask for 3 jokes

40. When I used to live on campus, I used to have bunk beds. The mobile phone needs to be recharged once. But there is only one socket in a bed, so reading with a lamp can't be recharged. As a result, A plugged the charger into B, and B wanted to listen to music at night. When he saw A's charger, he shouted, "Hey, I said, why do you always plug it into me?" Why don't you put it under you? "After a commotion, sweating like a pig ~ ~

4 1, when I was in college, a classmate argued with me, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. In desperation, I got up and shouted: You talk nonsense, I'm not stupid!

42. A friend of mine went on a blind date. When he came back, everyone asked him how he was. The buddy said: This girl is really rough. At noon, they walked into a beef noodle restaurant. The girl said loudly to the master: Hey, pull two bowls for Lamian Noodles's master and say: Do you want to eat? I eat and pull.

43. When I was a child, popsicles and ice cream were usually sold on bicycles. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: New ice cream is selling well. (It is estimated that Auntie used to sell fried dough sticks. )

44. My roommate boiled it with hot water. After the water boiled, the fellow was reading at leisure and did not move. He couldn't stand it any longer, and began to say that the skeleton case had the risk of plague tax.

45. Our head teacher teaches senior three math ... When he reviews for us ~ Every time he draws a picture and a ray ~ ~ he says loudly ~ ~ ` Watch it, classmates ~ ~ I took it.

46. When I was in college, I went to Hengshan to play. I was halfway up the mountain. When I am tired, I want to have a rest. Seeing Obasan buying souvenirs by the roadside, he went up and asked, "Wife ..."

47. During the self-study class, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM, "I just finished reciting the words, help me write them down." MM doesn't want to be silent, GG asks her, you (touch) me, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't stand it, shouting, teacher, you see I don't want to (touch) him, but he insisted that I (touch) him ~ ~! ! !

48. One day I went to my classmate's house for dinner and drank some wine. Her father suddenly came in. He wanted to call uncle, but he said something wrong: "Dad, come and sit 1~~ It's cold! A bunch of classmates laughed to death.

49. My colleague had a quarrel with someone and opened his mouth in a hurry. "Do you think I grew up eating?" I've always wondered what he grew up eating. "

50. When I was in primary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I don't borrow it, he will pester me and hit me. Then I shouted with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow) you." At that time, the students immediately calmed down.

5 1. Once in ktv, I ordered a song, and a mm shouted: Give me a stick chop of "Double Jielun" every week. ......

52. In computer class, a classmate shouted when there was something wrong with his machine. "Boss, change the plane!"

53. Two people were bickering, and suddenly a person next to them said, "You are really full and have nothing to do!"

54. It was convenient to go to the toilet last time, and there was no paper. He said to his wife, "Bring me the paper-wiping donkey!"

55. I once asked a nearsighted person how many degrees his eyes were. He wanted to say 400 degrees, but when he said it, it became 400 watts. He had a stomachache!

56. A group of classmates went to their classmates' homes in the suburbs to play. We bought some watermelons to put in the kitchen. I asked a classmate to take a knife to cut it. I haven't been back for a long time. While wondering, he came over with a cut melon in his hand and said in a panic, I cut the pumpkin. Everyone laughed wildly, but two seconds later, everyone laughed even harder. It turned out that he had a melon in his hand!

57. Once, my classmate asked me which department my other classmate was in the hospital. I can't remember clearly. I feel like internal medicine and acupuncture. As a result, I said she was in the guilt department.

58. A boy saw his uncle: "Buy him two dishes!" Uncle: "The child loves to brag so much that even no one dares to say it!" " 59. When I was at school, the Communist Youth League secretary was particularly dumb. When I joined the League, only another girl (a horrible one) and I were the host of our League branch secretary. I said without hesitation: today is the big day for two students, and the rest of the students have been laughing for a semester. When this person presided over another student's joining ceremony, he said that XXX students were welcome to join our mysterious organization. ...

60. I have a shy male classmate who goes to the canteen for breakfast. The man in the window asked him, "What do you want?" "He looked down and said," I want to. . . I want it. . A steamed bun, a steamed bun. The guy stared at him for a long time and said, "What do you want?" Say it again? "I want a steamed stuffed bun, a steamed stuffed bun. . . . . . Oh, no, a steamed bun and a loaf of bread! " Dude, dizzy! 6 1. Once my sister introduced me to a piece of music. She called it "girls' underwear". I'm surprised. I took the CD and looked at it. That's "girl's prayer" ...

Before the open class, the primary school teacher "soothed" our nervous mood and said, "Don't be nervous. Don't look around in class. Not everyone is sitting under the stage. They all have two noses and one eye! "

64. This person is loyal to his fans' divination grandmother. One day, after reading it, she left me a message saying, "Write quickly, so many people will show it to you." I am so depressed that I write posts just to see people or show them! ! ! !

65. When I was a cashier, a woman once took a pack of sanitary napkins to pay the bill. I wanted to say] "Please take care" after checking out, but I accidentally said "Please enjoy your meal". ...

66. In English class, the teacher: "Good morning, teacher" Student: "Good morning, student" The whole class fell down. . . .

67. One of my classmates called another friend, and his grandfather answered. This classmate doesn't know what he is thinking. He just said, "Grandpa, I'm grandma. . . "Suddenly feel wrong, just hang up the phone with a thud. ...

68. When I was a child, my sister and I played at home. She pretended to be a chivalrous woman, pricked up her ears and listened to what was going on outside, and then said to me with a wary face, "Hey? No, big head! "

69. Colleagues at work read the newspaper and said that Liu Xiaoqing gave birth to a child named Yun Yun without getting married. We hurried to look for the newspaper, but it was gone. She came over and showed us. At first glance, it is "Liu Xiaoqing once said very modern remarks, such as being single all his life, but he can have children without getting married."

70. A pupil was particularly nervous when he participated in the school recitation competition for the first time. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweating. It's finally her turn. Pupils gritted their teeth and walked a few steps to the center of the stage: "Teachers and classmates, the topic I recited is: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaves are red) ..."

7 1. Primary school students are particularly envious when they see the composition assigned to them by the teacher. They always hope that the teacher can let them read it. The opportunity has finally come. "So-and-so, read your composition to everyone! Pupils suddenly stood up: "My teacher". Teacher, how much I like your mother ... "

72. This time I am an unskilled host of a song and dance troupe. At a performance, I hurried on stage without being ready. The performance takes turns. It was her turn to announce the curtain call: "Audience friends, please listen to Du Zi flute ..."

73. My family often plants green onions in pots in winter to keep them fresh and tender. My sister saw it when she came home for the Spring Festival. She said to my mother with joy, "Hey! Mom, this is a rough onion ... "My mother and I both laughed.

74. There is a neighbor named "Auntie" who goes to work by bike every day. I met her at the door early in the morning. I smiled and said politely, "Grandma, Big Class …" Bah! ..... I want to bite off my tongue.

75. One day, my classmate Anonymous felt sorry for himself and suddenly turned to the person behind him and said, "Is my chest hair nice?"

He was startled and said, "Oh, I want to ask if my eyebrows are fierce."

76. I remember once telling my colleagues in the office that so-and-so was like a farmer, rustic, silly and cute. Everyone agreed, like a farmer, and suddenly the phone rang. The colleague who answered the phone actually said, hello, farmer! ~

77. A student read "Wang Erxiao led the enemy into the ambush of the Eighth Route Army" as "Wang Erxiao led the Eighth Route Army into the ambush". ...

78. I am a male. I was sick in Guangdong and couldn't speak. I went to see a doctor. The doctor told me that Yin Dao was inflamed. I took a closer look, and the writer's throat was inflamed.

79. When I was a sophomore, I especially liked to go shopping by bike with a MM in my dormitory. Dressed up, they got into the elevator together. Suddenly I remembered that the car seemed to be flat, so I said to her, "Will you accompany me to have an abortion first?" "~ ~ ~ days .......

80 .. There were a lot of people in the car, and a fierce man shouted: Mom stepped on me.

8 1. Once my classmate asked me which department my other classmate was in the hospital. I can't remember clearly. I feel like internal medicine and acupuncture. Just say she is guilty.

82. Our university went to the factory for metalworking practice. The master said: For safety reasons, try to ensure that one male classmate and one female classmate have one bed. At that time, all the boys burst into laughter and the girls blushed.

83. When you go to the street today, the loop bus here in Taizhou is charged by distance. When I got on the bus, the conductor asked me where I was going. I heard wrong, thinking that she asked me where I came from: "Jiangxi" and "Ah?" "Jiangxi", she was stunned for a long time and ran to ask the driver, where do I get off in Jiangxi? The whole car is laughing! ! !

When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart". The patient smiled and said, "Baby."

86. A man was constipated when he went to the toilet. Suddenly he saw a man rush in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast." "What do you envy? I didn't take off my pants. "

87. A company recruits, and the English name of the next girl to be interviewed is "spring". The secretary wanted to take the opportunity to show off her English level and shouted: Hi! Well, Chun, it's your turn!

88. On the bus, the pregnant woman standing said to the strange man sitting next to her: Don't you know I'm pregnant? I saw the man very nervous and said, but the child is not mine!

89. Are there military prostitutes in the army? Jun: Yes, there is no military discipline! Min: Really! Do I have to pay? Jun: What money do you need? Our military discipline was handed down from above.

90. A man stormed into a unit and shouted: Is this the Animal Protection Association? Staff: Yes, who bullied you?

9 1. Farmer: I often feel cold after sleeping at night. Doctor: Me too. At that time, I will hug my wife and get warm. Farmer: That's a good idea, but when will it be convenient for your wife?

92. Female secretary: "Boss, your wife called. She said she would kiss you on the phone. " Boss: "You hold it for me first, and then come and give it to me later."

93. Mrs. Wang is pregnant with quadruplets and shows off to her neighbors everywhere, saying that it is not easy to conceive quadruplets, and it takes an average of 60,000 times to get pregnant. Mrs. Li was surprised: do you still have time to do housework?

94. Children think about "heredity and environment". Mom interjected: This question is very simple. As we all know, children who look like their fathers are inherited. Like neighbors, that is the environment.

95. Khrushchev visited the farm, and the reporter took a photo of him in a pigsty with pigs. The next day, I saw a postscript in the newspaper: the third from the left is Comrade Khrushchev.

96. The woman said, why do you look so old-fashioned? M: If you like RMB, do you still care what year it was issued?