Humorous literary jokes

A conversation in a company office. Why don't you go to the toilet today? You usually go all day.

A dozen times? B: Not today! My mobile game has passed customs clearance.

2. Originally, my signature on WeChat was: I am not active after work, and there is something wrong with my brain. Later, the leader asked me a micro signal and said that he would add me. I changed it to: the end of the year, fight!

The father said to the young man who is going to be a son-in-law, "If I give my daughter a lot of dowry, what will you exchange with me?" The young man thought for a long time before he answered slowly, "receipt."

4. A buddy got stuck in his foot by a nail while shopping, pulled it out and threw it across the street. And when I came back, I was stabbed by that nail ...

One day in the shopping mall, I saw a man holding a woman's hand and swearing, and there was a circle of people beside him. I hate love rat who bullied women the most in my life! Kick the love rat to the ground and say, what the hell is it that you hit a woman? Fight me if you dare! At this time, someone in the crowd suddenly shouted: This female thief's accomplice is here ... I don't remember the next thing. ...

6. Frankly speaking, I like you very much, like your eyes, like your happy expression, like the way you walk, like the cuteness of your coquetry, and even like the way you sleep, but what makes me most angry is that you always lose your hair when you don't catch mice!

Seven. I'm up there and she's down there. I really want it, and she is even more coveted.

Three feet. Later ..... I was happy and she was in pain. Answer: fishing.

Eight. Oh, my god Please send me a watermelon to those guys who forget me, don't call me, don't send me messages, don't miss me, wish them enough, and then walk on the watermelon skin. ...

Q: How to comfort a fat man? Your life is complete. 10. My brother went to work. Sister-in-law said goodbye to her husband, and nephew bowed his head to play with toys and said, don't come back until you catch the sheep ... My brother almost tripped when he heard this at the door. ...

Lao Zhang: "Lao Wang, what's wrong with you recently? You run home to drink after work. I can't even call you karaoke, and you don't have a wife. " Lao Wang: "Neighbor Lao Liu has gone on a business trip."

12. Tell me who I am and scare you to death. I walk in and out of the richest man's enterprise in China every day, and everyone inside calls me "pro" when they see me.

13. At the wedding, the master of ceremonies asked the two newlyweds: Who will control the financial power of the family in the future? The two newcomers said in unison: me!

14. I just went shopping with my girlfriend and happened to meet my junior high school classmates. I introduced them to each other and said that this is my daughter. Hey, don't go, I really didn't mean to!

15. Recently, I learned a new word. Poor people are not poor, they are called "people who are rich", and suddenly feel that they are in the high-end atmosphere!

16. Have a good life. Simple is good. As for the luxurious and dissolute life, I think it must be better!

17. The bravest thing I ever did was to go to the seaside to pick up shells on a typhoon day. I struggled with the sea all night, and I was very lucky. Although I didn't pick up shells, I actually picked up a life. ...

18. The leader caught me playing with my mobile phone at work. How can I admit it? I just look at the time. Leader: Oh, what time is it? I walked up to him and asked me what time it was. I really didn't expect him to ask. ...

19. The patient's family said to the health care doctor, "You said you wanted to eat kelp from Yangshengtang that day. My mother-in-law eats kelp every day these days. " Doctor: "Oh, what else does she want to eat? Let's talk about it tomorrow. "

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10. Take cold medicine. The instructions for cold medicine say that it is difficult to operate machinery and drive after taking the medicine. I asked the doctor what he meant, and the doctor said it was just a nap.