Begging for a joke

1, in the advanced math class, the teacher wrote on the blackboard, and the bottom was in a mess. The teacher couldn't bear it: "Students, keep your voice down!" A buddy said, "Teacher, you will get used to it!" " "

The teacher fainted!

2. The whole high school must wear school uniforms ... Some repeat students never wear them. ...

The teacher in charge of this field squatted at the door every day to check ... A teacher saw that this classmate was not wearing a school uniform ... and asked him why he was not wearing it. This classmate was furious and said, my mother is not dead ... why did she wear mourning clothes? ...

The teacher was sweating like a pig. ...

3, this may not be mouth-to-mouth: the teacher procrastinates again and again, "Finally, I have to say one thing ..." Send a strong male interface to say loudly, "Twisted melons are not sweet!" , silence ...

"The teacher's face was livid ... class is over."

Our teacher once said in class: "The boss is the boss with a long face, and his wife is the old woman and mother. My wife will always be with you ~ ~ ~ "

My deskmate asked the teacher loudly, "Teacher, is that teacher just wet below?" "The teacher then broke out! !

5. When I was in junior high school, I liked a few boys to shoot butterflies after class (it's really boring to think about it now). As a result, a classmate was so excited that the math teacher asked him to answer several times when the bell rang.

Five minutes after class, the classmate ran to the door and called for a report. The teacher said angrily, "I call the dog and it wags its tail!" "

The classmate whispered, "I don't have a tail …" The whole class burst into laughter, and even the teacher couldn't help it …

6. One of my brothers asked the teacher in the advanced math class, "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is the goal of our study of calculus? My brother: No cavities!

7. In Chinese class, the teacher said: In fact, weasels don't eat chickens, which is obtained by scientists through experiments. Once put a chicken and a weasel together, guess what will happen the next day?

The classmate replied: The chicken is pregnant.

8. When talking about the use of neon tube in junior high school physics class, a fat man in the last row of our class stood up and asked: What should I do if the milk in the neon tube flows out?

The whole class was silent until the class was over. As soon as the class started the next day, the teacher began to get angry with the classmate yesterday, so the whole class knew the teacher's reaction speed.

9. The PE teacher shouted in class: Turn right, don't glance at it, and sweep the students next to him with the sidelight of the corner of his eye. Someone whispered below: only his bladder grows in the corner of his eye.

10, a painting teacher is famous, and a newspaper has a large-scale report with photos, so he boasted in class: "Recently, some classmates always told me that you are really good, and you have published photos in the newspaper ..."

Me: "Looking for inspiration?" Results: The teacher stared at me for at least 5 minutes, and then gave a lecture.

1 1, senior three, geometry teacher, an old bt lady, likes to brag, which is really annoying.

One * in class: "I am highly valued by the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study the problem together. Every time I pick up the car ... and then send it by car." (Note: The old southern woman paused here to emphasize the tone).

Me: "Three rounds?" Results: I was banned from geometry class from now on.

12, junior high school leaders had a meeting, and the students below were unconscious and threw paper towels all over the floor (the temperature was almost 50 degrees that day.

After the meeting, a leader went on to say: students, sanitary napkins have been scattered all over the floor today, and the unclean floor has been deformed. All the boys stayed to clean up. Female students are in distress situation. .

13, I still don't know if the teacher is right or wrong. When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties and fifties) felt that some boys didn't listen to me, and she cursed:

"What are you thinking?" "I miss you!" So I answered. After the teacher was silent for half a ring, he pointed at me and cursed: you smelly rascal!

14, when I was in high school, I had my first labor class. The teacher was an old man and introduced himself: "My name is Wu Shushan." I immediately replied: "Looking at Chang 'an in the northwest, there are countless mountains. "

The whole class laughed, and the teacher was livid and punished me for doing heavy work. Cold ~ ~ Press: "Looking at Chang 'an in the northwest, countless mountains are pitiful" is taken from Xin Qiji's "Bodhisattva Man Book Building a Wall in Jiangxi"

15, in Chinese class, the teacher called a sleepy classmate to answer the question, and the classmate was in a daze and couldn't say anything ... The teacher said, "Is that okay?" I won't scream either! "

Classmate: "Cheep." The teacher is sweating.

16, in photography class, a classmate took two children and played around the fountain. The teacher asked, "What is this picture?"

A sentence came from below: "Yuanyang plays in the water." Everyone laughed wildly ~ ~ ~

17. In music class, the teacher is a music solitaire, that is, the previous classmate drinks a "la" with one sound, and the next classmate must repeat the "la" of the previous classmate before singing a "la" with another sound.

A boy is bored. He added a word after everyone's "La" sound, such as "La Feng", "Lamian Noodles" and "Shit". After he sang "La" in a very beautiful tone, the music teacher smiled and said to him, "Let's see what you can play."

18, Chinese class "Yandang Mountain" Teacher: "... The above sentence shows that he is a very arrogant, steep and upright classmate, right? ! "The boy absolutely answered loudly:" Yes! ! ! "

A girl suddenly said, "Is it safe to come up? ! "People laugh wildly ... this class is endless!

19, I think our high school math teacher is the most classic. A girl in my class sat in the back row, listening to the walkman, and when her ears were blocked, she spoke loudly. She said to her deskmate, let me know when the teacher comes. Almost all the students heard it.

Teachers are no exception. Look at my classmates and say, I'm not going.

20. The chairman of the flag-raising ceremony made a thought report: "... I am the son of the people of China." The following students said, "I'm from China."

2 1, a school party, the teacher (more than 60 old women) gave up the program. The students booed: teachers also have festivals, dancing. A boy shouted, pole dancing.

The teacher didn't understand the meaning of pole dancing, thinking that she was busy dancing, and said, "I am old, and I was not good when I was young, but I am old."

22. When we were in high school, we were having a geography class. The teacher reported a place name on it, and we answered minerals below, saying that many local teachers suddenly asked, "What is produced in Jiangnan?" The boys in the class said in unison: "Jiangnan has beautiful women! ! ! ! "

23. In physics class, the teacher talked about convex lenses and cameras. He was writing on the blackboard. When he heard laughter below, he turned around and asked him what he said. The boy finally managed to squeeze out a sentence: "Teacher, you made a mistake."

So we looked back at the blackboard and saw that the words written by the teacher on the blackboard were cursive, which was impressively "according to the machine" ...........................................................................................................................................

24. During the self-study class, the academic director came in and asked the monitor "Help me find two people, I want a class flower", so the monitor organized the whole class to vote for the class flower. After a class, they finally agreed and chose the most pl mm in the class, so the two mm shyly went to the director, who said, "Come with me to the academic affairs office, I want to spend some time. . . "

25, sitting in the last row to sleep, next to the back door of the classroom, every time after class, I wake up at the same table, and then I go straight out of the classroom to bathe in the sunshine.

Once in class, the teacher asked me to answer questions for the first time. I was awakened by my deskmate while sleeping. I got up and pushed the door out of the classroom. Five minutes later, I felt very strange outside the classroom, and then I hurried back to the classroom. All the teachers and students were frightened.

26. The mid-term exam is coming. The teacher said, "Now is the critical moment. Everyone must really do it and do it well! " There is a cloud below: "The question now is what to do and how to do it!" " The teacher said, "as long as you work hard, you can do it!" " ! "

27, a junior high school biology teacher's masterpiece. Once he talked about the ecology of African grasslands, and no one in the class listened, so he got angry and said, Look at me! How can I know what African wildcats look like without looking at me?

28. When I was in high school, after class, my classmates all went outside to buy lunch boxes. A girl took a shortcut before others, and the manhole cover in front was not properly covered and she fell! At this time, she climbed up with a manhole cover ... very embarrassed, a group of junior high school students ran over to buy food, and she said while climbing: Hey! It's really hard to repair ... (sweat! )

29. In high school, the political teacher said in class? Developed capitalist countries, especially the United States, always bully other countries when they are strong. Our socialist China will not be like this. Even if it is strong, it won't bully you ... "

The deskmate replied, "If you don't bully others, how can you know if you are strong?" The whole class laughed and the teacher ran away! ! !

30. In high school, there was an experiment in chemistry to replace silver ~ At that time, one of my classmates succeeded in replacing silver ~ Shouting: Teacher! There is really silver coming out! Then he said, teacher, why don't you sell money?

(Note: the teacher's daughter) The teacher didn't hear it, but also replied: Selling silver is not something that can be sold casually, and it needs the permission of the state. ....

Quanbandeng

3 1, Strong Sports Commission: In high school, the head teacher (a female teacher in her twenties) said to the Sports Commission, "Go to the class and find two boys who are strong, and I will use them later." I laughed hysterically after the teacher left.

32, junior high school, a * the whole school student meeting, the class teacher wants the Sports Commission to confirm whether all the girls are here. Say to him (the sports Committee member is a very strong and lustful boy), "You go and tidy up the girls in the class."

The Sports Commission is not a fuel-efficient lamp, so it quickly asked, "Who is it?" The teacher thought for a moment: "I know I want you to go!" " "