Feng Gong's funny words

Feng Gong: Leaders, friends, guests, brothers and sisters in front of the TV, I miss you so much. Alas, the Spring Festival Gala has been founded for 30 years, and the more you live, the younger you are! Eldest brother, I remember that year I said you looked like Zhao Zhongxiang. Today, I saw, wow, Wang. Aunt, I remember that time I said you looked like Guo. I saw Fan Bingbing today! Actors can't, Ben became Uncle Zhao, and A Min became Sister Song, especially her face, which used to be like duck eggs, but today I saw walnut crisp. I am even worse! My son calls me dad and my daughter-in-law calls me wife. Just two days after driving behind my daughter-in-law's back, I met a beautiful woman who was drunk and opened her mouth to call me. ...

Niu Li: Husband!

Feng Gong: No. Do you think I can promise? Can what? Husband is a very serious title, which means a kind of responsibility.

Niu Li: Husband.

Feng Gong: I mistook you for someone else.

Niu Li: Yes, long legs, big round face and no chin.

Feng Gong: Shut your mouth and connect it directly to your neck. I'm a frog, right?

Niu Li: You left me alone in the car, and you want to run again?

Feng Gong: Isn't it flat? I want to confess!

Niu Li: This ... is new york.

Feng Gong: Is it new york ... so peaceful? This is great Beijing!

Niu Li: Don't dream of me. I remember that Beijing is an asphalt road. How can this be Simmons in one place? I'm going to sleep first.

Feng Gong: It's too cold.

Niu Li: You still love me. Husband!

Feng Gong: Stop screaming. My wife is at the gas station opposite. Fiona Fang Fiona Fang is a minefield for one kilometer! Please.

Niu Li: Now you know please me! New york, goodbye, where the hell have you been! I don't answer the phone, reply to text messages or surf the Internet!

Feng Gong: You have a revolving door!

Niu Li: Which gate did you go to? I turned you down. At first, I advised you not to go abroad. You said, no, gold is everywhere abroad. As a result, look.

Feng Gong: What?

Niu Li: Even the bank went bankrupt.

Feng Gong: I poured several.

Niu Li: The streets are full of unemployed people. You said they spoke English very well. Why can't they find jobs?

Feng Gong: I can't find a job. I should have told them not to learn Chinese then. The phone is coming, it's broken. Be quiet, my wife's. Hello! Wife.

Niu Li: Why do you want me?

Feng Gong: Quiet. Honey, I'm at home.

Niu Li: Nonsense! Ha ha laugh

Feng Gong: Quiet. I'm really at home, wife.

Niu Li: I didn't make any noise, did I?

Feng Gong: What's wrong with you?

Niu Li: Do you have any medicine?

Feng Gong: Wife, why is there a woman's voice? Don't worry, according to your request, all our cats are male.

Yan Xuejing: Are you really at home?

Feng Gong: Nonsense, I'm not at home, I'm in the street? Really.

Yan Xuejing: Didn't you say you were at home?

Feng Gong: I said I wasn't at home, I was in the street! Right?

Feng Gong: Is there a word wrong?

Yan Xuejing: Where have you been these days? You didn't answer the phone, didn't reply to the text message, and didn't surf the Internet.

Feng Gong: Our house is a sliding door.

Yan Xuejing: Say, who is she?

Feng Gong: He ... is our boss.

Yan Xuejing: Isn't your boss a man?

Feng Gong: Yes, why are you wearing this today?

Yan Xuejing: Come on, she's a woman.

Feng Gong: Nonsense, is our boss's daughter-in-law a man or not?

Yan Xuejing: Your boss is almost sixty, and your daughter-in-law is still so young?

Feng Gong: Is the boss's daughter-in-law old now?

Niu Li: Who is the boss's daughter-in-law? She cashed me out so quickly!

Yan Xuejing: Let me see, what kind of beauty makes you go out on New Year's Eve? Yo! It's beautiful. Double eyelids. Last year.

Niu Li: Nonsense, the year before last.

Yan Xuejing: Can these big eyes be closed when sleeping?

Feng Gong: Yes, it's tight. Just now she slept in the co-pilot, that's all. What happened? That's it, isn't it?

Yan Xuejing: That's it?

Feng Gong: Yes! That's it! (twist a head to see Niu Li sleeping on his shoulder) No! Don't!

Yan Xuejing: Say, when did it start?

Feng Gong: This is just the beginning.

Niu Li: What just started! It's been six years, so what.

Yan Xuejing: Six years!

Feng Gong: What six years! I don't even know her.

Niu Li: You don't know me. I don't know you yet. I'm leaving!

Feng Gong: Don't go, don't go, don't go! You go, it's all on me.

Niu Li: You still love me, husband.

Feng Gong: Please don't scream. This is my own wife.

Niu Li: If you leave me, you will find another wife. Then I must go and see it. Oh, these eyes are really saving face and land. They are original.

Feng Gong: We can't talk. We are pure wild animals.

Niu Li: Without me, your aesthetics are getting worse. I thought you would find a place, but you found a wet nurse.

Feng Gong: Then we are also mother-of-pearl.

Niu Li: Then talk to the wet nurse. I'm leaving.

Feng Gong: Come back! Can't leave.

Yan Xuejing: You let her go.

Feng Gong: I still have her sports car.

Niu Li: Don't go! Then I have to ask you, which of us is younger?

Feng Gong: Is it necessary to say that?

Yan Xuejing: Let's talk.

Niu Li: Who is young?

Feng Gong: You are still young. (pointing to Niu Li)

Yan Xuejing: Why is she young?

Feng Gong: She acted very young.

Yan Xuejing: What about me?

Feng Gong: You are really old. No, that's great!

Niu Li: Let me ask you, who is cuter among us?

Feng Gong: That's very kind of you (pointing to Niu Li).

Yan Xuejing: Why is she cute?

Feng Gong: Diabetes!

Niu Li: Let me ask you, which one of us is Lori?

Yan Xuejing: Lori?

Feng Gong: The online language is terrible. Your Lori, your whole family is Lori.

Niu Li: Let me ask you again. ...

Yan Xuejing: Don't ask. It's my turn to ask. Let me ask you, who do you like?

Feng Gong: Needless to say, you will always be a beauty in my heart.

Niu Li: What about me?

Feng Gong: You are a The Story Of Diu Sim at best.

Yan Xuejing: I'm Shi and she's The Story Of Diu Sim, so I'm more than a thousand years older than her.

Feng Gong: Don't you know that I like collecting since I was a child? There are no old things at home, how can you mix in the circle!

Yan Xuejing: Come on! Why do you always take sides with her?

Feng Gong: What have I done for her? I don't even know her.

Yan Xuejing: I don't know her. Call you husband?

Feng Gong: The mouth is under her nose. Can she tell me what to do? Besides, ask everyone, I have been calling for a long time. Did I say yes?

Audience: I promised!

Feng Gong: Be kind! You have a wife too. What do you do?

Niu Li: Husband. ...

Feng Gong: Open your eyes and see, am I your husband?

Niu Li: No.

Feng Gong: Did you hear that?

Niu Li: You are my ex-husband.

Yan Xuejing: So you got married?

Feng Gong: Who's married?

Niu Li: I bet I didn't. Look at this!

Yan Xuejing: There are wedding photos!

Feng Gong: That's not me.

Yan Xuejing: Who said it wasn't you? Do you think you have a chin? That's a tight hug. You were too young.

Niu Li: Can you get bigger? I am hugging my son.

Feng Gong: You can hug whoever you like. I tell you, I have nothing to do with her! That's my fault, wife. My fault is that I didn't tell you when I was driving.

Yan Xuejing: What do you do on behalf of drivers during the Spring Festival?

Feng Gong: Why don't you come home with me for the Spring Festival?

Yan Xuejing: I'm not going home. I am inviting my colleagues from other places to go home for the New Year. Shouldn't it be like this?

Feng Gong: I'm driving. Isn't it right to bring a few more people home for reunion?

Yan Xuejing: Why didn't you tell me on your behalf?

Feng Gong: I'm telling you, taking beautiful women is uncomfortable. Shouldn't I tell you?

Yan Xuejing: If you don't tell me, I'll feel even more uncomfortable, won't I?

Feng Gong: Even if you hit me, you won't say kill me. I won't let you die ugly, will I? Honey, you deal with gasoline every day. Look how rough your skin is. You are only 40, and your mind is full of Mentougou. I found a skin care product on the internet the other day, which has a unique effect on you, but it is a little more expensive, 3 120. It's okay, I'm driving! I've only been here for a few days, and I've earned almost everything!

Yan Xuejing: How much do you earn?

Feng Gong: 120, the most precious thing for a woman is her appearance, which needs maintenance.

Yan Xuejing: After further maintenance, I can still switch to 14 when I am 40 years old.

Feng Gong: Yes! Forty-four, ten is ten, fourteen is fourteen, forty is forty. We can't change 40 into 14, but we can't change 14 into 40. With love, 40 can become14; Without love, 14 can become 40. I don't care whether you are 40 or 14, 14 or 40,40, 14,14,40. You will always be 14 in my heart, not 40.

Yan Xuejing: Husband.

Feng Gong: Wife.

Niu Li: Husband.

Feng Gong: Old woman.

Yan Xuejing: Well, actually, I have heard what you two just said. She and her husband went abroad to make money, didn't make any money, and lost her husband.

Feng Gong: Yes, look at her here alone.

Yan Xuejing: What's wrong with her? People have sports cars.

Feng Gong: Did her sports car run again?

Yan Xuejing: So, she is not as good as us?

Feng Gong: Can she compete with us? let us ...

Yan Xuejing: Sister, poor thing. Talk to me.

Feng Gong: Look how kind my wife is. As soon as she heard that others were inferior to her, she immediately sympathized. Maybe she should come to our house for the New Year.

Yan Xuejing: Come to our home for the New Year! Alas! what are you reading? Behind your back.

Feng Gong: A complete stranger, a beautiful woman, is not suitable for taking home.

Yan Xuejing: Telephone.

Feng Gong: Yes.

Yan Xuejing: Hey, wife, who's your wife? Who are you? He said that he had just returned from new york.

Feng Gong: Her husband, please be polite to those people from new york. Hey, where the hell have you been? You don't answer the phone, reply to text messages or surf the Internet. What's the matter with you? It's over! Come to our home for the Spring Festival. You don't know me. I'll take you there. I know you. You have long legs, a big man, a round face and no chin. I will find you according to the toad!

Yan Xuejing: Come on! Get on the ground.

Feng Gong: Let's go.

Yan Xuejing: I asked you to carry someone. How can you hold it?

Feng Gong: People in China all over the world are sinking with their arms on their shoulders.