Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Ten Advantages of Keitaro —— Funny Quotations of Personality

Ten Advantages of Keitaro —— Funny Quotations of Personality

First, the wolf loves his wife more than himself. This is what men must have.

Every time the wolf catches a sheep, he can eat it first, but he never does this once. He always works hard and gives the lamb to his wife.

The wife decides whether to cook or stir-fry. Such a man always puts his wife in

First, this is a prerequisite for marrying him.

Second, the wolf loves to work. Don't underestimate this one. Couples pay attention to details in their lives, and doing housework and taking care of children are all details.

Although it is hard for the wolf to go out to catch sheep for his wife to eat every day, he still insists on doing housework, washing clothes and cleaning the room.

You don't need your wife to intervene in any work. I love working too much. If I marry such a man and a woman, I don't have to worry about becoming a yellow-faced woman soon.

Reciting Morita's latest humorous diary recommendation: ten advantages of Keitaro

Third, Grey Wolf is smart, capable and persistent. Every time he has the idea of catching sheep, he will definitely catch it. Although all the sheep escaped from the pot in the end,

But this is the plot arrangement, otherwise what will be played in the future? But every time I fail, Grey Wolf will shout to the audience: I will definitely come back!

Listen, I'm very persistent. Marry such a smart and capable man, and you don't have to be afraid of losing your job in the wave of financial crisis.

He can't turn over. He has perseverance and will definitely come back! Quality is the key to a good man.

Fourth, Grey Wolf has strong hands-on ability. He likes to make some inventions. If this is in life, he must be a man with strong hands-on ability. The fuse at home was broken and he repaired it;

The toilet is blocked, so he can get through; If the water pipe leaks, he will make it up; The leg of the chair was broken, so he nailed it. How nice it is for such a man to save money and worry.

Fifth, the wolf never feels bad about spending money on his wife. Women love beauty,

Hongtaro wants to exchange ten sheep for a tiger coat, which is a difficult task for the wolf.

But he agreed without hesitation. Ten sheep is a lot of wealth. Big Wolf used them all to make coats.

This kind of man is so touching. If you want to find a man, you must find someone who is willing to spend money for you. It is worth it!

Sixth, Big Wolf never pays attention to his wife. In today's era of mistress flooding,

This spirit of Grey Wolf deserves our study and praise. Although I can't help but blink occasionally,

The wrong behavior of giving the caught frog to the other party occurs, but the wife will go home when she calls.

It is impossible for such an excellent man not to be missed, as long as it is not a matter of principle, it is good to forgive him.

Seventh, Big Wolf never hides private money. Men become bad when they have money.

Private money may be a hotbed for men to go bad. All the sheep caught by the wolf are left to his wife.

This spirit is commendable. A man who doesn't hide private money is a good man!

Eighth, the wolf never discusses right and wrong with his wife.

My wife was right when she was wrong. Hongtaro is uncompromising. This kind of woman is dignified, which is too embarrassing for female compatriots!

Marry such a husband, don't worry about doing something wrong, and don't worry about family disputes at all. Comfortable!

Ninth, the wolf can cook.

When there are no sheep, Grey Wolf is afraid that his wife is hungry and cooks for her adults. No complaints.

Men who can cook can nourish women like flowers, which is one of the necessary skills for contemporary men.

Tenth, the wolf will please his wife. If the wife is unhappy, Grey Wolf will try his best to make her happy.

And it's the type that doesn't fight back and scold back.

Don't worry about the occurrence of domestic violence, how cool it is to have such a husband!

Finally, it is the best choice for a woman to find a husband like Grey Wolf.

Name: Wolf

Nickname: Grey Grey (childhood nickname: Little Grey Grey)

Gender: mantra: I will definitely come back!

Identity: Wolf Castle hero, husband of Hong Taro, the cleverest and most unlucky villain in qingqing grasslands.

Attribute: fierce color: gray hobby: sheep-catching props: "One hundred sheep-catching laws" invented the male wolf, who lives in the Woods on the edge of the grassland. He is a clever, funny and unlucky little man who likes to study methods at home.

Practice the skill of stealing chickens and touching dogs, harass the sheep tribe whenever possible, always want to steal sheep to eat, always be defeated by Pleasant Goat, afraid of his wife, and often his wife exports. If he does something wrong, he will be punished by the wolf's wife.

Personality characteristics: perseverance/bullying/failure, failure.

Wisdom: ★★★★★★ ★ Moldiness: ★★★★ ★ Speed: ★★★★★◆

The classic lines of the wolf ◇の

I will definitely come back!

Honey, you can't eat little sheep if you are impatient!

I almost succeeded!

Damn pleasant goat!

Wife ~ I went to catch sheep!

Dear little sheep, I am coming!

◆ She is in the heart of Big Wolf ◇の

She always hits the wolf, saying that the wolf is a stupid and useless loser, and always likes to compare the little white wolf with the wolf.

I am greedy and always like to "take advantage of the fisherman". However, Kotaro also has a good side ... In the episode of "Three Beats of Red Taro", the wolf fell from the roof and said, "Wife, I will never catch sheep again!" Instead of blaming the wolf, Hongtaro said very gently and angrily, "Dear, what's wrong with you? Did Pleasant Goat do anything to you? You wait, I will avenge you! "

On another occasion, the wolf pretended to break his leg. Kotaro was very gentle and caught frogs for him.

Put a plaster on it … I remember the deepest words "Only I can bully the wolf" and "How dare you bully my husband".

No wonder the wolf said in the episode "Diary of the Wolf": "Maybe everyone thinks I was beaten by my wife and scolded by her. However, I think she is the best wife in the world! "

Top ten Buddhists

Classic one: everything is illusory.

Speaking of the Diamond Sutra: Everything is illusory; Everything is like a dream, like dew, like electricity, and it should be treated as such. Beautiful love, touching love, are illusory! Butterfly lovers's sincerity, Romeo and Juliet's loyalty: one is a legend, the other is a novel. The sadness of Cowherd and Weaver Girl, the romance of Snow White and Prince Charming: one is a myth, the other is a fairy tale. Titanic sank, the broken blue bridge fell, gone with the wind staggered, and the ghost left! But illusory love is also the most beautiful! If you are in a dream, you are close at hand, but can't touch it; Distant is always the most beautiful, because it is out of reach, full of imagination, but difficult to understand. True beauty lies in the illusion created by the human heart. This kind of beauty is worthy of our common people's pursuit. Even if it takes a lifetime to get a heartbreaking ending, we are still looking forward to it.

Classic 2: can't say.

Many things are "words can only be understood"! Many realms of Buddhism require you to understand and cultivate your mind. If you rely on others to tell you everything, then you will not achieve your goal of practicing enlightenment! The Buddha taught all sentient beings to abandon their obsession and enter a state of mindlessness! Therefore, the act of "saying" itself requires a delusion to implement, so it is impossible to say! The reason why the Buddha has so many scriptures and quotations is to educate all beings, so Zen emphasizes not to be obsessed with words. No matter how many love movies and classic love novels you watch, you are just disappointed. Love can only be understood by yourself! Because love is also unspeakable. People who fall in love are stupid, and people around them will never understand the feelings of people in the game! Because of this feeling, like drinking water, you know yourself very well! 1000 Although the happy ending is the same, their love experiences are different! Only lovers know their little secrets, don't tell others!

Classic three: color is empty, and empty is color.

Different colors, different spaces. From the Prajna Paramita Heart Sutra! The whole sutra is 260 words, short and pithy, extensive and profound, translated by master Xuanzang in the Tang Dynasty, which is the essence of Zen! The whole sentence is "color is empty, empty is color, color is empty, empty is color, and it is the same to know." The "color" here and what people usually think are two concepts. Buddhism says that "color" refers to everything the eyes see, probably referring to the appearance of matter! A woman with a beautiful face will always get a lot of love! But no matter how beautiful a woman is, she will still be old one day! When you get old, will everything you once had still be there? It turns out that when beauty fades, everything will return to its true colors! All the beautiful scenery and sweet words are just passing by. Woman, find someone who really loves you and be put to sleep!

Classic 4: Living is like being in a thorn! If the heart doesn't move, people don't move, and people don't hurt. If the heart moves, if people move wildly, it hurts the body and bones, so they realize all kinds of pains in the world.

Life is always like being in a jungle of thorns, and there are dangers or temptations everywhere. Only by keeping calm and delusional, inner peace can make his actions impartial, thus effectively avoiding risks and resisting temptations. Otherwise it will be very painful. In this world full of temptations, is love really that powerful? Love is a flower that fades easily! And you are the most helpless rose in the morning breeze. When new temptations appear, the desire in my heart begins to sprout! It turns out that love is also the original sin. But what about the punishment after stealing the forbidden fruit? Lost people have long been addicted to it! Perhaps only those who have experienced true love can face the five colors, wave flags and shout, flutter in the wind and be unmoved!

Classic five: a flower and a world, a Buddha and a Buddha.

According to Buddhist scriptures, in the past, the Buddha touched flowers, but Ye Jia smiled, and then he went to Elysium. From a flower, you can realize the whole world and ascend to heaven. Buddha is Buddha. Who can have such a state? ! Buddha said: a flower and a world, a grass and a day, a leaf and a Buddha, a sand and a blessing, a pure land, a smile and a dust, a quiet heart. All this is a state of mind. If you have nothing in your heart, you can spend a world, a plant and a tree and a heaven. Understand these, a flower and a grass is the whole world, and the whole world is empty like flowers and plants! Now many people who love each other will leave because of each other's poverty! Is this true love? Maybe someone will say the theory of love and bread! However, old people used to say that love is full of water. I also believe that if you really love someone, although you are poor, you will feel full just by drinking water as long as you are with the person you love! Love is a state of mind: getting love is like getting the whole world! When facing the person you love, no matter where you are, it is like a spring breeze. I remember that in Tianlong Babu, Xixia chose Xu. When asked: Where is the happiest place in my life? Duan Yu replied: There is sludge at the bottom of the dry well. Why? Because he got true love there!

Classic 6: Looking back 500 times in my last life, I only got a brush once in my life.

Buddha said: Only by practicing eternal life can we help each other in the same boat, and only by practicing for thousands of years can we sleep peacefully. I watched it 500 times in my last life, for a brush in my life. An encounter in this life will inevitably breed too many sweet or painful memories of previous lives. Everything is destiny takes a hand, and it is destiny takes a hand! Accidental meeting, suddenly looking back, doomed each other's lives, just for the moment of looking at each other. You said: On the side is the crystal snow of high school students in the mountains and the lonely forest of fairies on earth. I said: Fate is looking for her in the crowd, but that person is in the dim light. You said: Fate is doomed even in two of a kind. I said: the fate is helpless, and Yan's return is deja vu. Fate is that joys and sorrows are always ruthless, and every window is dripping until dawn. Fate is endless yearning. And I, proudly standing in the desert, quietly watching it come and go.

Classic seven: great sorrow without tears, great enlightenment without words, silent smile.

Remember Forrest Gump in Forrest Gump? When all the runners who followed him suddenly stopped, they thought the saint was going to preach. He looked at the crowds of followers and said, I'm tired. Love is not necessarily vigorous, only plain is true! I envy those old couples who help each other at dusk. They go home together. Even if they don't say a word of love, just a smile is worth a thousand words! They reached the love realm of "holding your hand and growing old with your son", only in this calm picture!

Classic 8: The sea of suffering is boundless, and turning back is the shore. Put down the butcher knife and become a Buddha.

This is what Buddhists say to persuade people to turn over a new leaf. It is a metaphor that once the wicked realize their crimes and are determined to turn over a new leaf, they can still become good people quickly. From Song Shi Puji's "Five Lights Will Be Yuan" Volume 53: "Brother Guan is a man who kills people without blinking an eye. Put down his butcher knife and become a Buddha. " Tell a story first. An old man keeps two birds, a male and a female. The old man takes them out for a walk every day. The man and woman are squatting on the old man's shoulders. The male sometimes flies out for a walk, but before dark, he flies back to his nest by himself. The female never leaves the old man's shoulder. In this way, day after day, many years have passed and nothing has changed. Until that day, everything was as usual. After dinner, the old man took two birds for a walk. Suddenly, the mother bird standing quietly on her right shoulder patted her wings and disappeared instantly. The male bird howled in the sky, but there was no answer. From then on, the male bird whined in the nest day by day and never left the nest again. Three months later, the male died of hunger strike. Groaning before he died. Many years passed until the old man died, and the female bird never came back. Only the abandoned bird's nest witnessed that history alone in the wind. After reading the story, I covered my eyes and sighed. Such a man and a woman are no different from men and women in the world. Men in real life often say that they like the new and hate the old. They are like playful children, always eyeing an empty room to go out to play. When they are tired of playing, they will naturally go home. Outside, they can have fun; At home, they also want to be good husbands and fathers. The boundaries in their minds are very clear, and it is best to kill two birds with one stone to be a wife and lover. Even if some of them have slipped into a change of heart, under the balance of the pros and cons of reality, under the attack of his wife's tears, and under the severe situation of being attacked by relatives and friends, most of them can turn over a new leaf and repent, as the saying goes, the prodigal son will never change his money. And women, they often regard love as life. In their bones, the word love is sacred. Most women are nostalgic, and they will never give up easily if they have no experience of hurting their souls. Once a woman decides to give up, the love she once regarded as life will be completely destroyed, and she has no way out. Therefore, once a woman changes her mind, she will never look back. Just like the bird that flew away from its master's shoulder and never came back. A woman's love is determined by loyalty.

Classic 9: Bodhi has no trees, and the mirror is not a stage. There is nothing, so there is no dust.

Hongren, the fifth ancestor, asked everyone to write a poem to identify his successor. The most popular beauty show wrote: "You are like a bodhi tree, your heart is like a mirror, you are diligent in wiping in court, and you can't do dust" ... At that time, Huineng was still a handyman and illiterate, so I found a little novice monk to read it, and then I said that famous poem (I had to find someone).

These four sentences are mainly to make people feel relieved, that is, everything in the Buddhist scriptures is empty, but they are not obsessed with emptiness!

The first two sentences are only explained by bodhi trees and mirrors: don't cling to things. The last two sentences are about one's own realm. I clearly think of Tao, but I am too attached to it, rather than getting farther and farther away from it. Zen mainly expounds that everyone has Buddha nature, and it is important to cultivate one's mind, not the outside!

This kind of love is silence; It is a deep and meaningful love. It is not a flash in the pan, and there is no heroic oath that "the mountain has no edges, the world is unique, but dare to be unique with you". This is true, true love; It is the love to grow old hand in hand and watch the sunset and sunrise leisurely. This kind of love is the soothing sound of the piano flowing between your fingers, which cleanses the impetuous soul, stretches the chaotic mood and combs out a quiet and peaceful life.

Too passionate love is always easy to fall off branches, while peaceful and quiet love has a lasting fragrance and a lasting heart fragrance. When the flame-like love turns to ashes, when the tide of love slowly disappears, there is still a broad and loving heart that embraces and soothes the scarred heart.

Of course, quiet love is by no means plain love. That's the watch of the soul, and it's the real concern hidden in the bottom of my heart. Like a breeze, like a bright moon, beautiful but not kitsch, peaceful but not mediocre, calm but not dull. Through the clean stream of love, you will see fine stones and fish swimming happily in the stream. The beauty contained in this quiet love requires a lifetime of hard reading in order to be vivid and moving in the plain truth.

Classic 10: If I don't go to hell, who goes to hell?

At that time, the Bodhisattva, the King of the Earth, could have become a Buddha, but he was reluctant to leave, because there were countless suffering souls in hell, so he stayed in the hell and solemnly swore: "I will not go to hell, whoever goes to hell will not become a Buddha!" So there is the origin of this sentence, which belongs to Mahayana of Buddhism. I remember a movie by Kimura once explained "love" in this way, saying that loving someone means that you are happier than him when he is happy, and you are more miserable when he is miserable ... In fact, giving others happiness and being needed by others is something that can bring me great satisfaction and happiness. At least I will enjoy the attachment of others to myself, and I will also be attached to others. This is the way I talk to the outside world, and I want to believe that I can live like this. After reading Palace, I like the rules inside very much. He grew up with nothing, lost his father, lost his crown prince and lost his palace. But after 14 years, although he could have won the throne through his mother's infighting, he resolutely chose to sacrifice himself in order to save his relatives and conscience. He replaced the fabricated crime in the letter and his mother's secret crime. In this way, although the royal family restored peace and everyone was happy, Lao left the palace with nothing, even with a broken heart. Caijing's refusal to accept it is probably the biggest pain in his heart. I always feel that his eyes are full of melancholy and his face is full of thoughtful expression. However, maybe he feels happy because he sacrificed for love and helped so many people.

Top ten scams

The female star whose expenditure does not match her income tells everyone: "I am not taken care of, I will invest to make money."

Faith can move mountains. Don't! Sincerity does not mean success. If she doesn't love you, it is natural for you to stand downstairs every day.

All the girls who participated in the beauty pageant said, "Friends never encourage others to participate." And "I don't care about rankings."

The second female star with breast development said, "I don't have breast augmentation, I work out."

The efficacy of all skin care products. Overnight, the formula to restore youth? If yes, how much is 1000 yuan? After using exfoliating cream, skin lines will disappear? If so, why do makeup artists still have crow's feet?

Love. Come and go, you lied to me, I lied to you. It's rare to lie to you sincerely, because he doesn't want to make you sad. What is even more rare is that someone is deceived because they don't want to lose you. The highest state is not knowing each other and being cheated.

Life.

All the ways to lose weight. Talk is better than nothing.

No pains, no gains. For those who have developed real estate speculation, this is a complete joke and fantasy.

The effect of all hair tonic. It's just that desperate people were robbed.

Ten Classic Reasons for Marrying Big Big Wolf for Love

A wolf who always clamors for sheep but never eats them, and a group of sheep who always use wisdom to overcome threats and are extremely lucky-the cartoon Pleasant Goat and Big Big Big Wolf seems to tell a simple and boring story, but it has inadvertently swept children and young white-collar workers. In fact, many netizens have also issued such a sigh: getting married means marrying a big wolf and being a lazy sheep.

Reason 1: Love your wife more than yourself.

This is what men must have. Every time the wolf catches a sheep, he can eat it first, but never eats it. He always works hard and gives the lamb to his wife. A man always puts his wife first, which is the premise of marrying him.

Reason 2: Suffering hardships and loving labor.

Although it is hard for the wolf to go out to catch sheep for his wife to eat every day, he still insists on doing housework, washing clothes and cleaning the room without his wife's intervention.

Reason 3: Smart, capable and persistent.

He always comes up with the idea of catching sheep. Although all the sheep ran away from the pot in the end, it was a plot arrangement! Every time I fail, Grey Wolf will shout to the audience: I will definitely come back! Look, how persistent. Quality is the key to a good man.

Reason 4: Strong hands-on ability.

The wolf likes to make some inventions. If the wolf is in life, he must be a man with strong hands-on ability. The fuse at home was blown and he fixed it. The toilet is blocked and he can't get through. How nice it is for such a man to save money and worry.

Reason 5: I don't feel bad about spending money on my wife.

Women love beauty. Big Wolf wants to trade ten sheep for a tiger coat. Although it was a difficult task for Big Wolf, he agreed without blinking. This kind of man is so touching that you have to find someone who is willing to spend money for you.

The sixth reason is to be loyal to your heart.

In today's era of mistress flooding, the spirit of Big Big Wolf is worth learning and praising. Although occasionally I can't resist the little white fox's eyes and pay attention to others, my wife will go home as soon as she calls. As long as this excellent man is not a matter of principle, just forgive him.

Reason 7 Never steal private money.

Men become bad when they have money. It is a commendable spirit to leave all the sheep that Grey Wolf caught to his wife.

Reason 8: Don't discuss right and wrong with your wife.

My wife is wrong and right. Hongtaro is uncompromising. This kind of woman is too dignified and embarrassing to her fellow women.

Reason 9: Cook in person, without complaint.

When there are no sheep, Grey Wolf is afraid that his wife will be hungry, so he cooks for his wife's adult without any complaints!

Reason 10: Try your best to coax your wife.

If the wife is unhappy, Grey Wolf will try his best to make her happy. And it's the type that doesn't fight back or talk back, so don't worry about domestic violence.