How did you become humorous?

Japan is belligerent. In ancient times, almost all young men were drafted into the army to fight, and there was no time to get married and have children, so the number became less and less. At that time, a country formulated a national policy that all men could have sex with any woman at any time and any place to maintain the birth rate. Therefore, during the truce, Japanese women became accustomed to the "whenever and wherever" way, simply carrying pillows and sheets to go out, and later became the current name.

The family went to war again, so their children appeared Inoue, Tanaka, Matsushita, Watanabe, Yamaguchi, Noboru takeshita, Kondo and so on. Even the current prime minister was born by fucking Koizumi.

An old maid and an old virgin are going to get married to show their purity.

An old maid goes out the first part: I haven't seen one river and two mountains for 29 years

The old maid went out to make the next couplet: one shot and two bullets have not been anti-Japanese for 28 years.

Horizontal criticism: tonight's firefight

Dear wife:

Are you okay at home?

It's been 38 hours and 37 minutes since we were angry, and it's still 4 hours 2 1 minute short of the record of your running away from home. I know you're waiting for me to apologize to you, and I'm going to do the same, but I hope you can stick to it and create a new high in your escape history!

I'm fine at home, please don't miss it. Although you have the passbook, you don't have to worry about my financial resources, because I still have a supplementary credit card in my hand. Credit cards are very convenient to use. I have bought five shirts, seven pairs of underwear and twelve pairs of socks. It is estimated that one set will last until you come back every day. A famous brand is a famous brand, although it is a little expensive. ...

You don't have to worry about my food. I've tried it in seven newly opened sprinklers. Hairtail, hemp stalk and pig head are three. They are afraid of being alone and accompany me every day, but they try their best to order good food and wine. I can't help it You know I'm proud. What bothers me most is the new woman who moved across the street. She comes to borrow vinegar and garlic almost every day. But don't worry, I will never make a mistake. You must have confidence in me in this respect. As for the flowers and plants at home, I want them to adapt to the desertification environment as soon as possible and never water them, which is conducive to their species evolution. By the way, did our Mimi accompany you back to your parents' house? It's been two days.

You don't have to worry that my two lovely brothers-in-law will come to me on impulse to do something irrational. I invited them to dinner yesterday and told them a little thing between us. After listening, they took my hand and cried and said, "Brother-in-law, it's really hard for you!" " Yun Yun "

I've come to pick you up and apologize, but it's not bad for you to stay at your parents' house for a while.' "Come home often." Old people need you, too. Ps: If you don't come back tomorrow, Bing Bing will treat me to pizza and I will go. Anyway, being idle is also idle, and it is not good to always refuse others. After all, they are colleagues in the same unit.

Goodbye!

Your dear husband.

The fortune-teller and the young lady chatted, "Your life is not good." "Why?" "Because you have a bad omen."

"Then can I take off my bra?" "No, as soon as you take off the bad omen, there are two big waves in life.

"

A psychopath sang in bed, turned over and continued to sing on his pillow. The attending doctor asked him why.

Mental derangement: Fool, of course you have to sing B side after singing A side.

Drunk: Honey, our house is haunted. As soon as I went to the bathroom, the light turned on automatically as soon as I opened the door. After urinating, the closing light went out by itself. Wife.

Scold: You spilled urine in the refrigerator again.

The swimming coach is straight and loud. One day, he saw a female student in a shopping mall. He said loudly, put on your clothes.

I really don't recognize it!

During the lecture, the zipper of the female teacher's pants opened, and a girl stood up to remind: Teacher, your door is not closed! The teacher waved his hand: Never mind.

The dean will visit later.

Modern beauty vows: confuse the mind of a 60-year-old man, seize the property of a 50-year-old man, dispose of his wife at a 40-year-old man and gird his waist at a 30-year-old man.

The pole is broken, and 20 years old revolves around me!

Early the next morning, the bride walked out of the bridal chamber in pain, holding the wall with one hand and covering her nakedness with the other, cursing:

Liar! What a liar! Before I got married, I said I had thirty years' savings. I thought it was money!

Boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in the same room, and the woman draws a clear line: animals cross the border. Woke up and found that the man really crossed the line,

The woman slapped the man hard: you are worse than an animal!

The next day, two men and women slept in the same bed again, but the woman drew a warning line. The man had his last lesson and crossed the line late at night. As a result, because

Nervous but unsuccessful. After dawn, the woman slapped the man again and said, I didn't expect you to be worse than an animal!

In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "Are you really?"

Stupid, artificial respiration, should put her flat on the ground, go away and let me do it. "

One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted, you and him

Mom has never seen a naked man! The female driver was also furious: I don't think you can fucking pay for it!

Q: Who is the most pitiful person in the world? A: Artillery company cookhouse squad soldiers! Q: Why? Answer: Come back with a green hat.

Take responsibility for watching others have sex.

A pair of flies and their mother are eating. The son frowned and asked his mother, "Mom, why do we eat shit every day?"

Huh? "Mom said," don't say such disgusting things when you eat. Eat while it's hot! "

One day, 0 and 8, 6 and 9 met in the street. 0 disdainfully looked at 8 and said, fat is fat. Why wear a belt!

6 without looking at 9, he said: Cool is cool, don't stand upside down!

Reasons for poor leadership: First, it doesn't matter, like a widow sleeping, there is no one on it; The second is unstable, like a prostitute.

When a woman sleeps, her coat is always changed; The third is disunity, like sleeping with a wife, one of our own always engages in one of our own.

There is a couple. The first child gave birth to a girl named Zhao Di, and the second child was a girl named Youzhao.

The third child is still a girl, whose name is "new soldier", and the fourth child is still a girl. Father got angry and named her "Trick or Treat".

Dongbagou is very poor: dressing basically depends on spinning; Eating basically depends on the party; Getting rich basically depends on grabbing; Marrying a daughter-in-law basically depends on thought. western

Bagou is poorer: communication basically depends on yelling; Traffic basically depends on walking; Public security basically depends on dogs; Sex life basically depends on hands.

The arrival of a new life is gratifying, but the doctor found that he seemed to be holding something in one hand.

I broke his hand and found it was the birth control pill. At this time, the child said, you tried to kill me an hour ago.

Let you see, there is no way. ..

A man and a woman are making out. The man tried hard, but the woman didn't respond. The man asked angrily, "won't you?"

Any reaction? Can't even call the bed! "The woman immediately shouted," Sleep! ! Bed! ! "

World Organization for Space Exploration. There are British, Americans and Soviets, and each person is allowed to bring 60 kilograms of things. Britain

Americans brought their wives, Americans brought sports equipment, and Soviets brought 60 kilograms of tobacco. /kloc-meet them at the airport in 0/year.

When the reporter found that the British and their wives came down with their children, the Americans became stronger and the Soviets carried 60 kilometers.

Golden tobacco. The reporter was surprised, so he asked the Soviets that they had all changed. Why are you still carrying 60 kilograms of tobacco?

The Soviets said, shit! Forgot to bring a light!

In the hospital, the family had a happy son. Children can talk when they are born, and children say grandpa! 1, grandpa!

He's dead, and the baby's name is grandma! Grandma died with a sigh, and the child called dad again! , his father! but

Just to see if you're not dead! At this time, the child's uncle died with a sigh.

You are ugly.

Very ugly

Extremely ugly

It's fucking ugly

Rare ugliness

The ugliness of waiting once in a thousand years

Ugly can't be ugly.

Make computer illegal operation ugly.

Let people finish watching the ugliness that they will never forget.

It makes people twitch and foam ugly.

Let people run around telling each other they can't be ugly anymore.

Let Xiaozhu have a look and decide to quit.

People curse ugliness in various forums after reading it.

It's ugly that people can't even eat 20 viagra after reading it.

People will smash it to death and trample it ugly after reading it.

When everyone meets, they ask if you have ever called a person ugly.

It is ugly to close your eyes when you go to the toilet in the middle of the night.

People can't stop shivering when they turn off their browsers after reading them.

People are afraid of being scared to death when they walk, eat, sleep and do anything.

People make up hundreds of times, and even the wretched man feels ugly.

Let people sing one after another until there are plenty of fish in the sea and see the ugliness that this person doesn't want to find.

Let the police send him as a negotiator, and it will be clear when the criminal surrenders.

People can't urinate when they meet in public toilets, thus ruining the ugliness of impotence.

All criminals want to pretend to rob the national bank, and even agents are afraid to catch them.

As long as you claim to have seen the murderer's eyes, let the murderer release his ugliness.

Let everyone see it and ask him for plastic surgery, but the plastic surgeon will go to a mental hospital after seeing it.

Let him be the goalkeeper of the national team, let all the players in Real Madrid come back hard and shoot the ugliness of their own goal.

Let him ask the mirror who is the ugliest in the world, but the mirror is the ugliness of suicide.

Let Arafat send a special plane to pick him up, so as to resist the ugly situation that the Israeli army only stood for a minute and then retreated.

Let the sky cry, God, am I ugly? Suddenly, the heavy rain fell on me, and I touched it. It was all vomit, which was ugly.

You can apply for QQ online chat when you are bored. Unfortunately, the system prompts that your face is disgusting and you can't provide the number.

If the world can't tolerate you, you will commit suicide sadly, but the terrible king has given you Amnesty to return to this world and continue your life.

When he was born, the doctor just pulled him out of the uterus and fainted. The nurse quickly closed her eyes and stuffed him back.

There are nine suns in the world, and you forget at a glance that eight of them will fall, and the other one will be as ugly as a plant sun.

The national leaders sent you to travel abroad. You haven't traveled around the world yet, and the world economy has regressed for 55 years.

All countries in the world want to kill you. The United States fired an intercontinental missile at you, and when it was 2000 kilometers away from you, it turned back and blew itself up.

After watching the computer, it will be seriously distorted, the keyboard will drop, and the mouse will climb up the tree and get up 99 times, which is ugly only in DOS state.

I was born twice.

The first time, a doctor dragged me out of the uterus and suddenly fainted. A nurse fumbled for me with her eyes closed. ...

After my second birth, everyone in the hospital hid in the morgue and cried. The dean slapped himself in the mouth and blamed himself for being as blind as a bat and should not take over my business for greed. .....

Motherly love is great. She didn't dislike me and raised me, but he put a picture of a skeleton on my face to show it.

Relieve psychological pressure. The mask will stay with me until I am ten years old.

At the age of eleven, when I was in the third grade, the whole class was the most curious and desperately wanted to see what I looked like behind the mask. A classmate named Li Dadan tore off my mask when I peed. Since then, Li Dadan has suffered from a strange disease, unable to speak, with dull eyes, doing nothing all day, killing people without blinking, and crying as soon as he closes his eyes. ....

The headmaster reported to the education bureau, and the education bureau sent someone. Because all the students in the school have transferred to other schools, the principal can only eat half a bowl of porridge every morning, and the teacher's salary has not been settled for two months. ....

When people from the Education Bureau saw me, the director immediately resigned and resigned to go to sea, which triggered a chain reaction, and educational institutions all over the country closed down and were paralyzed. .....

I was walking in the street, and people on the roadside were vomiting wildly. A group of pigs rushed in front of me from behind, scrambling to wear me red flowers, give me trophies and give me certificates, which read: the savior of pigs.

Next door, Pockmarked Liu's daughter-in-law wants to brag to him that his pockmarked face is disgusting and she has to leave! ! ! It happened that I went to their window. As soon as Pockmarked Liu's wife saw me, she stopped talking and took out money to the insurance company to insure Pockmarked Liu. Ten thousand for a pockmarked man. ....

Also alarmed the United Nations (? Why do you want to say it again), Annan was at his wit's end and asked me to have plastic surgery, but it didn't work.

Plastic surgeons cried when they saw me, and nearly half of them went to a mental hospital, all with the same symptoms. They only said one thing: ugly ... ugly. ....

Arafat sent a special plane to pick me up and asked me to stand at the gate of the presidential palace to resist the siege of the Israeli army. I stood there for a minute, the Israeli army retreated, and Sharon was forced to resign. The whole Palestinian nation rejoiced, but when Arafat wanted to introduce me as a national hero, the Palestinian people could not find me with lanterns. ....

A writer came to me with tears in his eyes: When I was so old, my biggest dream was to get a Nobel Prize in Literature. Now the master is too powerful ... I have a unique skill. As long as I can write a book in front of you, I will definitely win the prize! ! !

I didn't believe it, so he stayed with me for a week and ended up writing a novel of five million words.

He even won the Nobel Prize in Medicine. .....

Nobel headquarters announced that if the world can find words to describe my face, it will win the literature prize, and as a result, all of it.

Nobel Prize in Literature disappeared after the writer switched to buying pork. ....

The National Football Association specially recruited me to join the team, hoping to really rush out of Asia. In the World Cup, China didn't concede a goal in every game.

It's all a score of 12:0, one goal for each person. After playing football, we will have a picnic on the lawn. I was alone in front of the goal BBQ, and the opposing players, including the goalkeeper, threw up on the ground. The referee can't even get a red card.

Of course, our players are also cultivated by the devil step by step. Look at my photos first, then look at my photos of eating, and then play football. ....

The World Cup will stay in China forever, and foreign media commented that I am the incarnation of the devil.

At the beginning of the world lying contest, players of all races boasted for the first time. I went on stage, won the championship in only three words, and kept the title forever. I said, I'm not ugly. .....

I cried at night, looked at the moon and asked softly, me, is it nice? A white object landed gently on the moon, and I

Pick it up and see, it is a small white rabbit that was trampled to death by Jiuyin's white bone claw. .....

I shouted at the sky: God, am I the ugliest horse?

The sky suddenly began to rain cats and dogs and fell on me. I touched it and it was all vomit. ......

I left this world and came to this ancient castle. I asked the mirror: mirror mirror, who is the ugliest in this world? The mirror is flowing.

Tears, suicide rupture .....

God forbid, why did you give birth to me?

I held a grudge and finally got depressed. Who knows, that horrible man gave me an Amnesty and let me go back to earth. .....

So I wandered around the world, having nothing to do, playing online, and I wanted to chat, so I applied for a QQ number, who knows.

Tao ... system prompt: because you are disgusting (please forgive me, my literary level is not high, I can only explain this), our company will not provide you with the number even if you die. ....

The most important thing is that I sent it to Baidu so late because I sent it ten times before I was allowed to pass! ! ! 1, it looks breathtaking! Creative!

2. Were you kissed by a pig when you were a child?

3, you are very patriotic, very dedicated and have a lot of backbone!

4, really creative, really brave to live!

5, you are really tm postmodern!

6. You look like a car accident scene!

7. Your appearance is out of proportion.

8. Why cover your face with your ass?

9. I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people. One is beautiful, the other is you.

10, you look very relaxed! !

1 1, you need to go back to the furnace to rebuild!

12, how can they call you a pig? This is outrageous! You can't judge a book by its cover! How can you say you look like a pig? That's an insult to pigs.

13, *, you are so fucking easy to recognize.

14, it looks very sci-fi and abstract!

15, I've seen ugly ones, never seen such ugly ones. It's ugly at first glance, but it's even uglier when you look closely!

16, looks innocent, looks sorry for the people and the party.

17, your growth slows down the internet speed, and your growth consumes too much memory!

18, you chased me naked for two kilometers, and I'm a hooligan when I go back!

19, brother, can you lower the resolution on your face?

20. You broke the rules!

2 1, international face universal.

22. I looked at him sadly and said, "Can the operation be cured?"

23. Your appearance has broken through human imagination.

24. You are a fauvism! !

25, you haven't fully evolved, elephant man is really hard for you.

26. I want to see you talk, but why do you bury your face in your ass? ..... oh? Sorry, I didn't know it was your face. What about your ass?

27. I don't want to hit you either. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run around the street like this, it's easy for the police to shoot you.

28.MMD, I have never seen anything so archaeological.

29, grow flying sand and stones, uncanny workmanship.

30. It's not your fault that you are ugly, but it's your fault that you are scary!

Respondent: Xiao Xia 87328- Scholar II 12-23 23:26.

An unexpected birthday celebration

Today is my birthday. My girlfriend called early and said that she would come home for my birthday at night. Give me a surprise! Hear the good news! I began to look forward to this wonderful evening. I worked hard and ran away from more than a dozen customers at once! Back to the company. It is three o'clock in the afternoon. When I went to the canteen, I found only one miserable dish and one soup, three beans fried with meat (fried soybeans, green beans and peas) and radish soup. No way, after running all morning, the customer's stomach has been growling for a long time, so he had to order a big plate of meat, fried three beans and a big plate of radish soup to eat! Unexpectedly, after work, my stomach is like the engine of a cross-country jeep-I started a violent piston movement! In a flash, puffs of gas rushed out of my body! I rushed to the place where no one was there, and my stomach began to sing softly, but it immediately turned into a rapid-fire poop-poop! My stomach is so swollen! While sleeping, my girlfriend called and said she had arrived home. Let me hurry home. Alas! I have no choice but to go home. I hope she won't see me in such a mess. . . . .

I farted a lot on my way home Almost home, my stomach feels much better. I think there should be no more problems. I saw my girlfriend waiting at the door from a distance. She looks a little excited. She shouted, "honey, I have prepared a wonderful gift for you tonight, which will definitely surprise you."

Before entering the door, my girlfriend covered my eyes tightly with a piece of cloth and said that she would give me a surprise! He took me to the chair in front of the dining table and made me swear not to peek. Suddenly, I want to fart again. Just then, my girlfriend's cell phone rang. This saved my life! I made an excuse that it was too messy and asked her to answer the phone in the other room! She insisted that I couldn't open the blindfold and made me swear! Then I ran to the other room to answer the phone. As soon as she left, I seized the opportunity, put all my weight on one leg and let my fart out. This fart not only rings, but also smells like rotten eggs. I could hardly breathe, so I touched the chair cushion and fanned it hard to get rid of the bad smell. Just when my mood improved, another fart came again. I raised my leg again and started to release it! It sounds like the rapid rotation of a diesel engine, and the smell is even worse this time. In order not to suffocate myself, I climbed up with my arm waving the chair cushion, hoping that the smell would dissipate as soon as possible. When everything is going back to normal, another fart can't wait to rush out. So I stood up, bent down, pursed my ass and leaned back! Let it out. This fart is really first-class, and even the newspapers behind it are blown to the ground. . . . .

I listened to my girlfriend's voice in the other room, and I was afraid to open the blindfold because I had to keep my promise not to peek. I can only fart in the dark, in order to quickly expel the gas from my stomach without making the room worse! I unbuttoned my trousers, took off my underwear and pants under my mourning clothes, exposed my ass, groped for the door of the balcony behind me, almost extended my whole ass to the balcony and began to fart wildly. . . . . . Ah! I feel much better. After that, I jumped around the room with a mat and prayed that the stench would dissipate quickly. . . . In this way, for the next ten minutes, I kept farting and fanning the chair cushions. Finally, when I heard her say goodbye on the phone, the air in the room and my stomach were much better! I quickly tied my pants and arranged my hair, and began to wait for my dear girl to surprise me gracefully and with a smile.

When she approached, my face showed a satisfied smile and warm eyes. My girlfriend first apologized for calling me for so long, and then asked me if I had secretly opened the cloth. After I assured her that I didn't peek, my girlfriend took off the cloth that covered my eyes and said to me, "What a surprise! My girl friends insisted that I bring them to see you today. They say you are very graceful and handsome in the photo! You see, the five people sitting at the table are my good sisters, and the six people standing on the balcony are my best friends at school! " At this time, I was extremely shocked and horrified to find that there were a lot of girls sitting on the table opposite me, while there was another pile standing on the balcony behind me. They all came to this birthday party that surprised me very much.

Now, every one of them is looking at me with a speechless expression. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

How to tell the authenticity of RMB?

Prepare 100 yuan. Fold in half and then fold in half, put it on the ground and step on it n times. Pick it up and see if the people above have nosebleeds. If it is, it is true. If not, it's fake.

One day, several officials and his men came to the restaurant for dinner. A waiter (female) in the shop just arrived 18 years old, and she is an inexperienced dog. After entering the restaurant.

The leader said, "Miss! Tea! "

Miss: "1234567" (originally he thought he was told to check the number of people and had no experience)

Leader: pour the tea! !

Miss: "765432 1"

Leader: "You count!"

Miss: "I am a dog"

1, long adventure ... creative.

2. Were you kissed by a pig when you were a child?

3. You are patriotic, dedicated and have backbone.

4, really creative, really brave to live!

5. You are so fucking postmodern.

6. You look like a car accident scene.

7. Your appearance is out of proportion.

8. Why cover your face with your ass?

9. I think there are only two kinds of people in the world who can attract people. One is beautiful, the other is you.

10, you look very relaxed! !

1 1, which needs to be rebuilt.

How can they call you a pig? This is outrageous! You can't judge a book by its cover! How can you say you look like a pig? That's an insult to pigs.

13, shit, you are so fucking easy to recognize.

14, it looks very sci-fi and abstract!

15, I've seen ugly ones, never seen such ugly ones. It's ugly at first glance, but it's even uglier when you look closely!

16, looks innocent, looks sorry for the people and the party.

17, your growth slows down the network speed, and your growth consumes too much memory.

18, you chased me naked for two kilometers, so I'll be lucky to go back!

19, brother, can you lower the resolution on your face?

20. You broke the rules!

2 1, international face universal.

22. I looked at him sadly and said, "Can the operation be cured?"

23. Your appearance has broken through human imagination. ...

24. You look very fauvism! !

25, you haven't fully evolved, elephant man is really hard for you.

26. I want to see you talk, but why do you bury your face in your ass? ... oh? Sorry, I didn't know it was your face. What about your ass?

I don't want to hurt you either. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run around the street like this, it's easy for the police to shoot you.

28.mmd, I have never seen anything so archaeological.

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! 」

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Sausages and pickles, please!"! 」

Now, please talk to the township head! )

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" 」

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )

No pickles, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you. ...

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story.

A worker who copied kebabs was transferred to be a cremation worker and was fired within a few days, because he always asked the families of the deceased: What do you want it to do?

The eagle chased the rabbit, but it fell down and died because of the rabbit's words. Do you know what the rabbit said? It shouted to the eagle, "You're not wearing a bra!" Hearing this, the eagle quickly covered his chest, and as a result, ...

3. A woman ran into a dead end under the pursuit of cannibals, because she was frightened and wet her pants. The cannibal saw it and cursed: it's a pity that the soup was spilled.

4. An electrician walked into the operating room and said to a critically ill patient wearing an oxygen mask: Hello! Listen, take a deep breath, I need a power outage for five minutes!

5: An ant said to the elephant, "I have it, it's yours!" " "The elephant fainted after hearing this, and when he woke up, he said to the ant," I want another one! " "Hearing this, the ant was scared to death!

6. When the train in Spring Festival travel rush was very crowded, a gentleman took advantage of the parking to fart outside the window. The inspector at the bottom of the car found it and shouted: Fat man and cigar, take your head back.

7. anonymous is convenient to enter the public toilet, and he is worried about forgetting to bring paper. A pile of toilet paper emerged from a crack in the wall next door. "Thank you, who are you?" "You're welcome, I'm Lei Feng."

8. When the Minister of Family Planning visited the countryside, he met an old farmer and asked, "Hometown, do you know why close relatives can't get married?" The old farmer rubbed his hands and said lightly: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe, relatives, it's too familiar to start.

9. Imperial edict: Bring goods to heaven, and the emperor summoned: Because you don't love me, you are not allowed to shit for three days, and you are not allowed to bring paper to your death! A Cheng, get the newspaper!

10: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Qiao Nina. She fell in love with a girl named Shade. They look at the stars together. When the meteor crossed the sky, they named it Jonina Shading Star.

1 1: The mouse calls the cat: Hello! The meal is ok! Come down, Missy! The cat lay prone on the mouse hole and stretched out its front paws to take the mouse out. I dug all night and continued digging the next day.

12: the little mosquito came home crying, and his mother asked, what's the matter? Mozzie: Dad is dead! Mother Mosquito: He didn't take you to the show? Mosquito: Yes, but when the audience applauded, Dad didn't dodge.

13: bee girl shows off spider boyfriend: at least he has his own personal website.

14: Psychological test: If you race with a bear, what do you want: 1. You run faster than a bear; 2. Run as fast; 3. You run slower than a bear …

Answer: 1. You're not just a beast; 2. You are an animal; You don't look like a bird and beast.

15: This is an eternal story. A long time ago, a young man lost his beloved girl. He went through a lot of hardships and came to the girl. The girl said to him affectionately, "how about ... get out!" "

16: The hunter saw a bird in the sky, but it missed three times, but the bird still fell. It turned out that the bird patted its chest when it didn't hit the neutron bomb and said, scared to death, scared to death!

17: I saw a penny on the roadside and was about to bend down to pick it up. It turned out to be phlegm. Damn it, who threw up so round?

18: In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, "You are so confused. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. "

19: The blind and the lame ride together, and the lame watch the road. Suddenly, he saw a deep ditch and shouted: Gougougou! The blind man turned around and sang: Ole Ole Ole! So they fell into the ditch!

20: I miss those days. You wriggled in front of me and walked down the country road with your head down. When the villagers saw you, they all praised you: Oh, it's so beautiful and clean! Also praised me: what a good boy, such a small grade came out to release pigs!

2 1: Another chance encounter. Your big watery eyes look at you with emotion. I tried to avoid your sight in panic, but you followed me. I understand how you feel, so I ran over and shouted, Whose dog is not tied?

This is an ancient legend;

Midnight, 12 o'clock, pick up the phone and press 12 zero, and you will hear it. . .

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. You Dial. Yes Electricity. Words. Yes Empty. Number. . .

There will be a meteor shower tonight. It is said to belong to the constellation Big Pig. A big pig will fall from the sky. Too bad I want to sleep. You're gonna be okay. So many people watch you fly!

24: I just fell asleep that day and received a short message: I fell asleep in the wrong position and fell asleep again.

25: a military performance, a shell deviated far away. The soldiers sent to inspect found that the shells landed in the farmland, and you stood in the field, dressed in rags, with dark skin and tears in your eyes, saying, is it worth shelling to steal a cabbage?

Liu Hongtao met a foreign guest one day. He said: I am Liu Hongtao, and the foreign guest said: I am Fang Qi!

In the vast sea of people, when you receive this sincere blessing, please try your best to hit your head against the wall-see? Countless stars in front of you are my infinite concern!

I wrote your name in the sky, but it was taken away by the wind; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was swept away by the waves; So I wrote your name in every corner of the street. .....................................................................................................................................................................

Dear users, your phone bill balance is less than 0. 1 yuan. Please pay the phone bill in the near future: sell children, women, rice, iron pots, blood, houses, land and wives. Thank you for your cooperation! China telegram.

I am an onion, standing in the wind and rain, who wants to touch my soy sauce, fuck his ancestors! I traveled all over the country, drank water behind the toilet, ran over my leg on the train track and kissed a fool. Fuck! Refuse nothing, just miss you!

3 1 in love! Happy! Spend a lot of money from now on! Get married! Cool! From now on, someone is in charge! Divorced! Free! Say something about spending money! Aiko! Be silly! Lie in bed and die!

Because of thirst, God created water; Because of darkness, God created fire; Because I need friends, God sent you to me, so God lost that bucket of rice!

Are you lonely? If so, go downstairs and buy a rope and stick, tie the rope to the stick, and wave the stick on the roof when it is windy. People want to ask you: