Eager for jokes or brain teasers suitable for group meetings? !

1 and 20XX, an old man was dying and said to his grandson with trembling lips, "Children ... Wait ... The complete works of death have come out, so you must ... burn the CD you gave me, and I want to watch it below." The child said, "Don't worry, Grandpa, I will try my best to live to that day." Grandpa closed his eyes with satisfaction after listening to his grandson. In AD 2 1XX, a critically ill old man knelt in front of his grave and burst into tears: "Grandson, I have been waiting for the complete works of death for so many years, and I am ashamed of my ancestors!" Say that finish, anger toward, the whole body quiver two quiver will not move. Those eyes are still wide open and die unsatisfied! ! Grandson died and went to heaven. One day, he met God, and God said, I can grant you a wish. He said, "Can you sink the island of Japan?" God said: this is too difficult, change it. Sun Tzu added, "Then I want the complete works of death." God wiped the sweat from his head and said, "What's your last wish? Give me the globe and let me have a look.

2. Private life

When my daughter was 3 years old, she lived in her aunt's house for a while. My aunt and uncle just got married and have no children. Therefore, she especially likes children, especially my uncle. She gets up early every day to teach her to do exercises, and comes back from work to tell stories and walk with her, which makes her very unhappy and claims that she is the world's favorite uncle. After a while, I went to take her home. When I was leaving, my daughter suddenly said to my uncle, "Uncle, you must never marry my aunt. I will marry you when I grow up. " Everyone is absolutely depressed.

3. Be a teacher when you grow up

Father: "The teacher told me at the parent-teacher meeting that you always like to talk in class and you should correct it later."

Son: "Why should we correct it? The teacher speaks several times more than me in class! "

Father: "That's the teacher giving a lecture. How can I talk if I don't talk? "

Son: "don't you always say' everything should be started from a young age'?" I want to be a teacher when I grow up. How can I not practice now? "

4. I saw a person who didn't reply to the post in the supermarket that day. He quietly put his hand on the bar code scanner and saw the screen display: 8 yuan with trotters. He thought the machine was broken and put his face in the past. Results The screen shows: Pig 5 yuan.

5. Gougougou

In a family, a couple gave birth to twins. My brother's eyesight is good, but my brother's eyesight is poor. One day, they were riding motorcycles in the wild, and it happened that my brother was driving in front. When he was driving, he found a ditch in front of him, so he quickly said "ditch ditch ditch" to his younger brother, but his younger brother thought that he was singing and drinking with him. "Oh, oh, oh," and they fell.

6. I haven't heard from you for a long time, and I feel very distressed.

I thought of death. I cut my pulse with potato chips, hit my head with tofu, and parachuted upstairs.

Noodles can be inked to death.

Invited me to dinner and died.

7. The fish said, "I always open my eyes, in order to be reluctant to leave your side." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe and there's still so much nonsense."

8. people

Will fall in love,

Not special;

cattle

Will eat grass,

Not special;

pig

Will press the phone,

Only special;

Press it again!

What a pig!

Wow! And laugh!

What a cool pig!

9, psychological test:

If you think you have a high IQ, just press it.

I think it's quite humorous. Press it.

I find it quite attractive. Press it.

Press if you feel handsome.

Test results:

Quite shameless

10, I see vicissitudes in your brow, confidence in your eyes, years on your forehead and leeks between your lips and teeth. Go brush your teeth!

1 1. Doctor: "Why can't I find my pen? I want to give you a prescription. " The patient whispered, "Doctor, didn't you put it under my arm?"

12、nHZ！ HS OM

I know you won't guess,

I don't understand,

Take a closer look!

Still can't see it?

Do you know Pinyin?

There is a limit to your stupidity, right?

Turn the phone upside down!

13, Father: "Why are you so stupid? What a small pig! Ahem! Do you know what a pig is? " Son: "Yes, it's the son of a pig."

14, a drunk accidentally fell from the third floor, attracting passers-by to watch, and a policeman came over: What's the matter? Drunk: I don't know. I just arrived.

15, nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I'm telling you, it's okay. You didn't press a fart!

16, dear users, hello, your phone bill is less than 0. 1 yuan. Please sell children, women and rice, and sell some blood in the near future.

Sell land, house, wife and phone bill, thank you for your cooperation! China Telecom

20. I love you all my life! This is true, please believe me! You are my baby! Life can't live without you! Only I know your heart best! Your eyes are the gentlest (to understand my mind, please see the third word of each sentence)

Brain Twister

1 You can eat melons, cucumbers, watermelons and pumpkins, but what melons can't you eat?

Answer: fool

There are six steamed buns in two pots, and each of the six children is given 1, but there is still 1 in the pot. Why? Answer:

The last child was carrying a washbasin.

Can you turn ice into water as soon as possible? Answer:

Remove two points from the word "ice" and it becomes "water".

In winter, the baby is afraid of the cold and refuses to take off his hat when he enters the house. But he saw a man take off his hat obediently. Who is that man? Answer:

barber

Lao Wang has to shave forty or fifty times a day and still has a beard on his face. What is the reason? Answer:

Lao Wang is a barber.

There is a word that everyone will mispronounce when they see it. What's this word? Answer:

This is the word "wrong"

7 Xiaohua is at home, who is the most like him? Answer:

Little flower in the mirror

What's the use of egg shells? Answer:

Used to wrap egg whites and yolks.

Is there anything you don't have to work hard for? Answer:

yawn

10 You can do it, I can do it, everyone can do it; One person can do it, but two people can't. What is this for? Answer:

have a dream

1 1 What everyone must do seriously every day? Answer:

sleep

12 people who are always afraid of taking a bath answer:

clay figurine

13 Xiaoming got a model student without studying. Why is the answer:

Xiaoming is a deaf-mute student.

14 what car is stuck? Answer:

windmill

15 which month has 28 days? Answer:

There are 28 days in every month.

16 Do you know what's wrong with sleeping in class? Answer:

Not as comfortable as bed.

17 What can't I drink? Answer:

tincture of iodine

18 which eggs can't be broken, boiled or eaten? Answer:

Got a zero in the exam "0"

19 Knocking on things without effort? Answer:

doze off

It takes six hours from Beijing to Shanghai by train. After three hours of exercise, where should the train be? Answer:

On the track

2 1 When does the clock stop running? Answer:

The clock won't go.

You can't buy any books in the bookstore. Answer:

posthumous papers

What is the narrowest road? Answer:

Enemies are bound to meet head-on on a narrow road-one can't avoid one's own enemies (though he wants to).

What can't I eat? Answer:

"east-west" direction

A man fell from a plane, why didn't he die? Answer:

The plane stopped on the ground.

What are the flowers that bloom all year round? Answer:

plastic flower

What English letters do people like to listen to best? Answer:

laser record

Who is sick and never sees a doctor? Answer:

blind person

Xiao Ming knows the answer to the test paper, why does he often look at his classmates? Answer:

Xiaoming is a teacher.

Why not smash the eggs with a hammer? Answer:

Of course the hammer won't break.

Who can easily knock down the champion of 3 1? Answer:

Simple bulldozer

What is unknown, you don't know and I know? Answer:

The sole is broken.

A man was walking on the beach, but there were no footprints behind him. Why? Answer:

He is walking backwards.

A truck driver knocked down a motorcyclist. The truck driver was seriously injured, but the motorcyclist was fine. Why? Answer:

The truck driver didn't drive.

What is the first thing everyone should do when they wake up in the morning? Answer:

open one's eyes

Can you write the scarlet letter with a blue pen? Answer:

Why is it difficult to write the word "red"

When the car turns right, which tire does not turn? Answer:

spare tire

What is the difference between Confucius and Mencius? Answer:

Confucius' son is on the left, and Mencius' son is on the top.

Why does Xiao Wang have to learn a text from Grade One to Grade Three? Answer:

It's not bad to learn a lesson every two days from grade one to grade three!

How many eggs can a person eat on an empty stomach at most? Answer:

One. Because I ate one, I was not on an empty stomach.

4 1 What did Columbus do immediately after he set foot on the New World? Answer:

Step on the other foot

When the caterpillar came home, he said a word to his father, who fainted on the spot. What did the caterpillar say? Answer:

The caterpillar said, "I want to buy shoes."

The plane fell from the sky. Why is no one hurt? Answer:

They are all dead.

What is in the middle of the Pacific Ocean? Answer:

This is a flat character.

What is the smallest island in the world? Answer:

A safety island on the road

Put a chicken and a goose in the refrigerator at the same time. Why is the chicken dead and the goose not dead? Answer:

penguin

Four people are playing mahjong in a small room (no one else is watching). At this time, the police came and all four people ran away, but the police arrived at the room and arrested another person. Why? Answer:

Four people were playing mahjong in the room, and the police caught him.

Who is the 480,000 BM? Answer:

zoo director

What can solve all the mysteries? Answer:

answer

What kind of person will appear after death? Answer:

The characters in the movie

5 1 Who is the person who likes to pry into other people's affairs? Answer:

journalist

Who said the farthest? Answer:

caller

What has the same production date and expiration date? Answer:

daily paper

Mimi spent the whole night on history textbooks last night, but the next day her mother scolded her for not studying hard. Why? Answer:

She used a history textbook as a pillow when she slept.

Can you cover the sky with leaves? Answer:

Cover your eyes with leaves.

A cow, go north 10 m, go west 10 m, go south 10 m, turn right and ask where the cow's tail faces. Answer:

Chaodi

Why do blacks like to eat white chocolate? Wenwen answered:

Afraid of biting your hand

58 Divide 8 in half. What is this? Answer:

What is the worst thing for people who stutter? Answer:

Make an international long distance call

What makes people laugh and cry? Answer:

surgical mask

6 1 ID card is lost. what can I do to help? Answer:

pick up

A man is walking on a wooden bridge. A tiger came in front of him and a bear came behind him. How did this man get there? Answer:

Faint

There are two prisoners in the prison. One night, all the prisoners escaped, but the next day, the guards opened the prison door and found another prisoner inside? Answer:

The name of the fugitive is "all"

Xiaoming's mother has three sons. The oldest son is Daming, the second is Er Ming, and what's the name of the third son? Answer:

Xiaoming, of course.

Why did the cat run away when it saw the mouse? Answer:

Run to catch mice

What does an elephant's left ear look like? Answer:

auris dextra

What if 67 stitches fall into the sea? Answer:

Buy another one.

There is a man walking on the beach, but he can't see his footprints when he looks back. Why? Answer:

Because he walked backwards.

It takes an hour for a migratory bird to fly from south to north, but it takes two and a half hours to fly from north to south. Why? Answer:

Isn't two and a half hours an hour?

Who cheats others and cheats himself? Answer:

deceiver

7 1 Mr. Li went to the 16 floor for business, but he only took the elevator to the 14 floor and then took the stairs. Why? Answer:

Mr. Li is too short to press the elevator button on floor 16.

A child and an adult are walking in the dark. The child is the son of an adult, but the adult is not the father of the child. Why? Answer:

Because they are mother and son.

Which word is common all over the world? Answer:

Arabic numerals

There is a big and thick book in front of a person, but he can't cross it if he wants to. Do you know why? Answer:

Because the book is in the corner.

What is the secret of 75 people's longevity? Answer:

Keep breathing, don't die.

When did you see the biggest moon? Answer:

When landing on the moon

Who only works one day a year? Answer:

the Santa Claus

What is better to turn a blind eye? Answer:

shoot

Why does a newborn child only have one left eye? Answer:

People only have one left eye.

Which tooth was last lost? Answer:

false tooth