70 classic jokes in history

1, the old couple went to take pictures, and the photographer asked, "Grandpa, do you want side light, backlight or full light?" My uncle said shyly, "I don't care." Can you leave a pair of underwear for your aunt? "

2. Two charming children got married. After seeing off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was frightened and asked where the bride was. Meatball said shyly, I hate it, you don't even know people when they take off their clothes!

3. Four mice brag: A: I eat rat poison as candy every day; B: it itches if you don't step on a mouse for a day; C: Don't go to the streets several times a day. D: it's getting late. Let's go home and hug the cat.

A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but they were knocked down. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, damn it!

5. A little dog climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You are furious and say, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. The dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said, look who is cruel.

6. The mouse is particularly depressed because he has no girlfriend. Finally, a bat agreed to marry him, and the mouse was very happy. Others laughed at his lack of foresight. Mouse: What do you know? She is at least a stewardess.

7. The ant is lying lazily in the soil, stretching out a leg, and a friend asks you why. Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.

8, the woman is ugly, can't marry, and hopes to be trafficked. Finally, my dream came true, but I couldn't sell it for half a month. The kidnapper sent him back, but she insisted on not getting off. The kidnapper gritted his teeth and stamped his feet: Let's go, don't want the car.

9. Frog and toad became brothers. Toad said, I am the eldest brother. The frog said: no, you see your zit is still there. I must be the eldest brother!

10, a real estate agent advertised "buy a house and send furniture" to promote the house. Someone bought a new house and decorated it to get furniture. Real estate agent: Where's your furniture? We will deliver the goods to your door!

Top Ten Most Powerful Jokes in History

1, I believe everyone has encountered it. I took a sign that said deaf people asked for donations. Once the landlord met me, he answered directly, I am deaf, too.

2. A parent found a teacher and said that his child's grades had dropped recently. He used to get about 25 points in the exam, but now he has reached 20 points. The teacher explained it clearly in one sentence: they are all multiple-choice questions. It used to be one out of four, but now it's one out of five.

After the results of college entrance examination, I envy the couple who entered the same school hand in hand. The girl is high-spirited, the boy is brave and fearless, the girl is ingenious, and the boy has excellent moral character and excellent study. Girls reported cakes and boys reported auto repair.

My father and I decided to repeat the college entrance examination. At this time, my grandfather couldn't help it, and roared: "If you don't do well in the exam, you won't do well in the exam. Why take poison! "

The passenger plane crashed into the sea, and the flight attendant asked the passengers to go into the sea from the slide. The passengers did not dare, and the flight attendant asked the captain for help, and the captain quickly got it. The flight attendant asked him why, and the captain said, tell Americans that it is an adventure, tell the British that it is an honor, tell the French that it is romantic, tell the Germans that it is a rule, and tell the Japanese that it is an order. The captain also said: China people are so easy to mess with, just tell him it's free.

6. Today, a friend went up the mountain, and a marching monk saw us digging bamboo shoots. He said that bamboo shoots are delicious. Go home and eat a bamboo shoot fried meat! Then my sister asked, how do you know that bamboo shoots are delicious if you don't eat meat? The monk said: I am not a born monk.

7. "Do you know why apples are red and green, and the two sides are different?" "Oh, that's because of the sun. The side that basks in the sun turns red, and the side that does not bask in the sun turns green. " "So that's it. The skin of that watermelon is green and the flesh is red. The sun must have come in! "

8. A girl came to class. She introduced herself: "I may not be the smartest, I may not be the most beautiful, I may not be the best, I may not be the most humorous." Everyone in the class praised her modesty. After class, I saw her name and realized that her name was Wei.

9. Watching the Romance of the Three Kingdoms with my wife, I said smoothly: What do you think I can do in the Three Kingdoms? The wife said leisurely: Tie it to the grass boat and borrow an arrow!

10, the wife suddenly asked her husband, "Do you love me?" "Love, of course!" The husband answered without hesitation. The wife thought for a moment and asked, "Are you afraid of hurting me?" The husband quickly said, "No, no, I said I was afraid of hurting me."