Funny jokes, smile happily

1? On the first day of school, after finishing cleaning and lying on the bed, a friend asked me where I was from. I said it was from Handan. My buddy said it was a coincidence that there was a guy wearing glasses in our dormitory who was also from Handan, so I sat up and put on my glasses and looked at him.

2 "What would you think if someone gave you 10 million in exchange for your boyfriend?" "I would feel unbelievable, even a little dazed. After all, two good things rarely happen at the same time in one day. . ”

3? A girl who was short-sighted and didn’t have glasses or a watch ran to the street in Hanfu and asked: “What time is it now?” A man wearing glasses said in panic: "It is the year 2019..."

4 A friend went to have his fortune told, and the fortune teller said: "You will have a great disaster in 250 years." Friend: "What's wrong? Someone's grave is dug up." ”

5 I went to the bakery wearing my newly bought cloak coat, and tucked my arms inside because of the cold. It turned out that the boss thought I was disabled, refused to charge me, and even hung the bread bag around my neck. In order not to disappoint my boss, I carried it on my head and went out. Just give me the twelve dollars you saved and give you a five-star review!

6? A boy likes to chat online. One day he chatted with a girl from the same city online and made an appointment to meet today, so he went to ask his mother for 200 yuan. When her mother asked what it was for, he said On a date, my mother gave me two hundred yuan, and the boy went out happily. But as soon as he went out, he saw his father. He said: "Take out the money and give it one hundred yuan each. I don't know what cigarettes are for half a month." The boy said: "Dad, this is my date money, I can't give it to you." This sentence of the father made the boy doubt his life. The father said: "Why are you going on a date? That's my trumpet." I’ve been chatting with you for a long time, so hurry up and get it.”

7 One day when the husband came home from get off work, his wife had already prepared the meal. The wife said: "My dear, you have worked hard. You can choose today's dish." When the husband heard this, he was very happy. His wife was too nice to him today. Okay, so the husband asked: "So what are the dishes today?", the wife said: "Tomatoes and scrambled eggs", the husband said: "What dishes can I choose?", the wife said: "You You can choose to eat or not to eat."

8 Today, after my wife and I had a quarrel, she had a heart-to-heart talk with me. I felt that she must have regretted it. Her attitude was very sincere, so she called me over. He said to me: "Husband, I find that every time I quarrel with you, I have a feeling!" I said: "Does it feel like I regret it?" My wife said: "I feel like I haven't performed well every time!"

9? Dad, something happened! Something happened! "I whispered hurriedly. Dad looked at the TV and said, "Why are you panicking? What happened? Me: "My mother discovered the two hundred yuan I hid, and she is getting angry in the back room now." . . Dad said angrily: "Yes!" How dad usually teaches you, it’s up to you what you do this time! ”

I said calmly: “Dad, I hid the key in your shoe!” ”

10 I was riding a bus and saw a gangster man with tattoos and sunglasses giving up his seat to an old woman. In fact, people with tattoos are not bad, and they are kind of loving when they think about it. The old woman also said to her brother very gratefully. He said: "Thank you! The eldest brother said: "You are so polite to me!" ”

Source network intrusion and deletion?