You eat pickles and leave the fish to your brother. How did she react to her mother's words before the New Year's Eve?

"You eat pickles and leave the fish to your brother." A word from my mother before the New Year's Eve, she remembered that at the end of 10, Xiaonan and her husband took their three-year-old daughter back to their parents' home for the New Year. When she got home, her mother coldly said "go back" and then did what she had to do. Peony is used to her mother's attitude, so she doesn't take it seriously.

The New Year's Eve dinner is quite rich, with big fish and big meat, a bowl of pickles and various soups. Xiaonan likes to eat fish since he was a child, so he put a piece of fish in the bowl. Seeing Xiao Nan eating fish, her three-year-old daughter also clamored for it, and Xiao Nan grabbed another piece. At this time, the mother can't stand it anymore, and her face suddenly changed:

"You eat less, you can eat pickles and fish for your brother. He is tired from working outside, and his health needs a lot of tonic. And you spoil yourself every day, don't do anything, eat less, so as not to get fat. "

His mother is just hard on Xiao Nan, and so are Xiao Nan's children. There is no grandma.

Seeing this scene, peony burst into tears and barely passed on the first day of the New Year. The next day, she packed up and left her family.

Since then, Xiao Nan has never been back to her mother's house for ten years because she hates her mother. Even her brother called and asked her, "Will you go home for the New Year this year?" She has no intention of going back to her parents' home.

Xiao Nan, who can't stand consumption, is the eldest daughter of the family. From the moment she was born, grandma hated her and even took it out on Xiao Nan's mother. Therefore, his mother also alienated Xiaonan, and felt that because Xiaonan was a girl, she was not even liked by her mother-in-law, and all the mistakes were caused by Xiaonan.

When Xiaonan was ten years old, his mother was pregnant, and everyone in the family wanted the baby to be a boy.

During her mother's pregnancy, Xiaonan couldn't coquetry with her, and all she got was her impatient sentence "I'm bored while playing".

Later, when my younger brother was born, the whole family became more indifferent to Xiao Nan. This situation has not changed until Xiao Nan got married.

So there was the scene mentioned above: Xiaonan's family of three went back to their parents' home for the New Year and was left out by their mother. Xiaonan didn't communicate with his parents for ten years.

Family ties with blood thicker than water also have a shelf life. After a certain period of time, it is difficult not to deteriorate.

This period can be understood as "degree". Enough is enough. It's okay not to exceed the limit, but if you don't know how to advance and retreat, you will squander, even cross the threshold of the limit and regret it until you want to remedy it.

Even if we get back together and get back together within the range of degrees, it is unlikely to be the same. As always, because some things change, cracks will not be eliminated in your intentional avoidance, just like spilled water, water under the bridge. Especially hurt feelings.

Since childhood, Xiao Nan has been living in her mother's prejudice.

Indifference, discrimination and lack of maternal love are irrelevant. It doesn't make much sense to talk about fairness with your family. If you are not an only child, parents will inevitably shift the scale of love to a child and give more attention and love.

Xiao Nan is at the high end of the love scale, but she doesn't feel bad for her mother. At most, I was left out by my mother when I got home, and I didn't take her seriously when I thought about her attitude.

Xiaonan cherishes family ties. Ten years later, she continued to decide not to go back to her family for the New Year, but shed tears of guilt, which shows that she cares about her family.

Because she cares about her family, Xiao Nan has to keep silent about her mother's indifference. Sometimes, silence is also a way to express love. Xiao Nan cares for her family with silence.

The last straw to break the silence is his mother's attitude towards her granddaughter, which is exactly the same as her attitude towards Xiao Nan. This made Xiaonan unbearable, and there was a gap on the border of maintaining family ties, which led to Xiaonan's "heartache" of not interacting with his family for ten years.

Xiaonan's "cruelty" is not unilateral willfulness, but the mother's intensified action, which made the originally warm family suddenly cold to freezing point. "Cruelty" is just a chilling feeling after being hurt by family members.

Family can't stand consumption, and only moderate can stop loss in time.

In the final analysis, the deep-rooted preference for boys over girls, Xiao Nan's tragedy, stems from the preference for boys over girls in the previous generation.

Preference for boys has existed since ancient times and has been passed down from generation to generation. It has long been rooted in people's hearts, imperceptibly and timeless. Especially for the older generation who have not been influenced by advanced ideas, the phenomenon of son preference is particularly serious.

Xiaonan's grandmother was deeply influenced by this thought. Since Xiaonan was born, she has been sealed in the cold palace, and there is a gap between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law because of Xiaonan's existence. It makes sense that Xiao Nan is not liked by her mother, which is a series of chain reactions triggered by the idea of son preference.

There are too many daughters like Xiao Nan in the world. Is a daughter really inferior to a man?

Su Mingyu in the TV series Everything is Fine is a copy of Xiao Nan, and her tragic experience is even worse than Xiao Nan's.

They were both born to the same mother. When they were teenagers, their two brothers were much happier than Mingyu. Eighteen-year-old Su Mingyu chose to stay away from family independence, which was a helpless move and a struggle against son preference.

Therefore, among the three brothers and sisters, Su Ming Yu lives the most decent life. When the two brothers were in trouble, she silently lend a helping hand; Su Da Johnson was ill, and she stayed by his side. And her two brothers, one in America and the other in Africa, are doing their father's duty, making small cotton-padded jackets and never giving up.

It tells us that son preference is out of date, daughters hold up half the sky, and sometimes daughters are even better than men.

Therefore, for parents, daughters and sons are equally important, and the key moment is the pillar of the family.

Raising children for old age is not bad for a daughter.

From pre-Oracle Bone Inscriptions era to post-Oracle Bone Inscriptions era, sociologist margaret mead mentioned pre-Oracle Bone Inscriptions era and post-Oracle Bone Inscriptions era in his book Culture and Commitment.

The "pre-Oracle Bone Inscriptions era" refers to the era when the older generation taught the younger generation. For example, parents taught their children to eat and walk, that is, they learned knowledge or common sense of life from the older generation.

The post-Oracle Bone Inscriptions era, on the other hand, refers to the younger generation teaching the older generation, such as teaching parents how to use Alipay and how to use smart phones. In this process, the younger generation needs to have a sense of responsibility and patience, and also need to teach no class.

Although Xiao Nan was born in a patriarchal family, he didn't get the habit of giving preference to boys. She doesn't want her children to live in a patriarchal atmosphere.

Therefore, before getting married, Xiaonan and her husband discussed that the children born in the future, whether male or female, should like it. Xiaonan's husband is also an enlightened person, and they are consistent in this point. Therefore, after the birth of the daughter, the family of three is also happy.

The arrival of her daughter made Xiaonan better understand the role of mother. Even though her mother treated her badly, she didn't complain.

In fact, Xiao Nan can talk to her mother calmly, tell her what she thinks about son preference, and try to alleviate or change her mother's paranoia about son preference. After all, the concept of son preference is far behind the times.

But Xiao Nan can't forgive her mother because she bears a grudge and doesn't want to get involved in her family, so it is impossible for the younger generation to teach the elders. Without the guidance of others, Xiaonan's mother will undoubtedly stick to the concept of son preference, and the relationship between Xiaonan and her mother will remain rigid.