The story of children's jokes!

1. On the road, 5-year-old little Lili pointed to a person in front and said to her mother, "Mom, look, there is not a hair on that person's head!"

Mother quickly said, "Keep your voice down so that people can hear you."

Little Lili was surprised and said, "What's the matter? Doesn't he know it himself? "

2. When Lele was more than 3 years old, Lele and I once ran faster than anyone else. I ran ahead, but she couldn't catch up with me. She was so angry that she cried and said, "Grandpa, run slowly." I asked why, and she said, "You are a rabbit, you are proud, and you want to sleep." Let me sit on the ground, I can only pretend to sleep and watch her run to the finish line before catching up. She was happy: "Grandpa is a lazy rabbit, and I won!" I won! "

On the plane, I sat in a row with my father and daughter. Her father, he's over 30. This girl, very smart, seems to be only in Grade One or Two. The stewardess handed out food. As soon as the little girl got it, she opened it happily and ate it. She may be hungry.

Her father: "Did you thank your aunt?"

The little girl is very cute and says, "Thank you, Aunt."

Her father: "tell aunt that you are really beautiful."

The little girl suddenly changed her tone: "Aunt, my dad says you are really beautiful. My dad likes your type. "

Her father froze, and the stewardess said happily, "Do you want beef rice or egg noodles?"

The little girl still said, "No, he thinks beauty is better than eating."

Her father said awkwardly, "Beef rice."

Then, the stewardess left. Father and daughter are talking again, but the tone is not father and daughter at all, but the kind of buddy who knows her sister very well. The little girl is also very young.

Her father: "I just said that!" " "

Little girl: "Come on, I don't know what you're thinking! Will you stop doing this! You started when my mother was away. Do you think you are so energetic? "

Her father turned green: "Eat yours! If you talk nonsense again, I won't take you out! "

Little girl: "Oh, please don't take me out before it's too late. I think it's unnecessary for me to be here now. I said you can do it. You are content to find my mother. It is said that the prostitute was my father's lover in his last life, which surprised me. How did I like you in my last life! "

Her father was very angry with her. ...

Everyone next to me bowed their heads and smiled!

One day, on the lawn of kindergarten, a group of children played house under the supervision of their aunt. A four-or five-year-old girl ran to her aunt and asked, Aunt! Auntie! Do you think my grandmother can get pregnant? Aunt felt funny after listening to it and told her: Your grandmother is seventy or eighty years old and can't be pregnant.

The little girl then asked, Aunt, can my mother get pregnant? Aunt was a little angry and said to her: * * * * Mom is less than 30, and she can still get pregnant. The little girl then asked, aunt, do you think I can get pregnant? Aunt was very angry after listening and said loudly, you have so many questions. Tell you about the pregnancy at the age of four or five! You can't get pregnant, okay? The little girl finally got the answer and ran to play.

Then a little boy of the same age ran after her and said to the little girl, look, you are not pregnant!

When I was a child, the teacher said that the red scarf was a corner of the red flag, which was dyed with the blood of martyrs. I thought at that time that making a red scarf had to be cut off from the red flag, and I thought that every red scarf was really dyed with the blood of martyrs, so I wondered: How many martyrs' blood would it take? ...

6. Smith is a school handyman. One day, while he was sitting at home, suddenly a ball broke the window and hit him. A little boy came in sweating like a pig and said:

"Sorry, I'll call my dad to fix it for you right away."

An hour later, sure enough, a big man came, installed the glass neatly, and then asked for the material fee and salary of 10 US dollars.

"Aren't you the father?" Smith said in surprise.

The bearer was also surprised: "Aren't you the father of the child?"

7. Nick and his father went to visit his grandmother. Nick always sticks his head out of the window on the train. Dad said, "Nick, be quiet! Don't stick your head out of the window! " But Nick still sticks out his head.

So dad quickly took off Nick's hat, hid it behind him and said, "Look, the hat was blown off by the wind." Nick was scared. He cried for my hat back.

Dad said, "Hey, whistle, your hat may come back." Nick leaned against the window and whistled. His father quickly put his hat on Nick's head.

"Oh, what a miracle!" Nick smiled. He was so happy that he quickly took off his father's hat and threw it out of the window.

"Dad, try whistling!" He said happily.

8. Professor W rang the doorbell three times and the door opened. At the door stood a little boy about 10 years old.

"Son, is your father Professor Henry at home?"

The little boy looked disapprovingly at Professor W, took off the cigarette in his mouth, flicked the cigarette ash with his fingers, then took a sip and smirked and replied, "Do you think he will be at home?"

9. Xiao Ai is a six-year-old boy who goes to kindergarten. One day, the teacher said to his classmates, "Children, Mei Tao's parents have left. How pitiful she is! " Should we help her? "The children said in unison," Yes. "

"Well, shall we come one by one?" The teacher said, "The teacher will donate fifty dollars first." The students immediately donated ten dollars to their pocket money and five dollars to me.

At this time, it was Xiao Ai's turn. He didn't move, as if thinking about something. The teacher asked, "Little Ai, don't you want to help your classmates?"

"No, it isn't." Xiao Ai quickly said, "I, I was thinking, should I donate a father or a mother to her?"

10, a: "Our whole family likes animals."

B: "What animals do you like?"

A: "Mom loves cats; Brother loves dogs; My sister loves white rabbits. "

B: "What about your father?"

Answer: "Mom says Dad loves the fox next door!" "