Short sketch about the dangers of the Internet

Zhang San: Let me tell everyone something, and I’m not afraid of everyone laughing at me.

Li Si: What’s the matter?

Zhang San: Cough! My son is becoming more and more rude recently. He doesn't take me as a father seriously at all.

Li Si: Is this really true? Let me see, your son won’t ignore you as a father for no reason, right?

Zhang San: Cough! There was a parent-teacher meeting a few days ago, and the teacher asked the parents to talk about their understanding of the Internet. When I heard it, I felt so happy. You know how precious this opportunity is to me. I was simply hoping for the stars and the moon. It finally came. Today, parents of outstanding students were not delivering a report. I stood up from the last row and stood up from the last row in a few steps. Got the stage!

Li Si: Don’t be anxious, don’t be anxious, your mood is understandable. This network is a high-tech product, not the net you use to catch fish. Just you, can you speak?

Zhang San: I can’t speak if anyone says so.

Li Si: Then what are you talking about?

Zhang San: What are you talking about? Listen to what I have to say. I stood on the stage like this (putting on an air of dignity) - Comrades, I have not been exposed to the Internet for a long time, but it has a long history and I still have a lot of research on the Internet. For example: I can chat on the Internet, this one is called QQ, and every time I use QQ, I am told that I am a beautiful little girl; I can look up information on the Internet, and this is a search engine, but every time I search, I can’t find where to give away US dollars; Shopping, this is called e-commerce, and I only used e-commerce to buy a bottle of soy sauce; being able to watch movies on the Internet, this is called online cinema, and I always wonder, does this count as piracy?

John Doe: Is this what you said? !

Zhang San: It’s not over yet! ——In short, the Internet looks complicated, but it is not scary at all. Just connect the phone line to the TV, and then place an electronic keyboard in front of it. (Flicking with two fingers) To surf the Internet, just sit down and play, play, and play...

Li Si: Okay, okay, is this your speech? !

Zhang San: After the parent-teacher meeting, my son never gave me a good look again.

Li Si: Don’t just blame your children. Think about yourself. With your words, does your son still have the nerve to meet his teachers and classmates?

Zhang San: Go! Listen to what you are saying! Don't I love my son? Doesn't my son love his dad? In order to reshape my tall image in my son's mind, I came up with another idea.

Li Si: I have an idea, what should I pay attention to?

Zhang San: Double the homework assigned to him every day.

John Doe: Double the homework assigned? Aren't you just avenging a private vendetta?

Zhang San: Why are your words so unpleasant? ! Who will follow whom, me or my son? Can I avenge my personal revenge? I have done ideological work for my son.

Li Si: Ideological work?

Zhang San: Yes! I talked to my son. I said to him earnestly, son, you have to see through dad’s good intentions. Dad’s leak last time was not just for the limelight. Dad wanted others to know that your dad doesn’t know anything about the Internet. Your dad At the very least, it can be considered an Internet cafe...what the heck.

John Doe: xo!

Zhang San: Yes xo! Regarding your homework, Dad has repeatedly suggested that you should not do more homework, but your supervisor refuses to approve it, so... you still have to implement it!

John Doe: Is there a supervisor? !

Zhang San: It’s my child’s mother!

John Doe: It’s you two! You and your wife have increased your child's academic burden at will. Can your child bear it?

Zhang San: Who said he can't bear it? It used to take my son two or three hours to complete his homework, but now he can finish it in only twenty minutes.

As soon as I checked, there was no error!

John Doe: Really?

Zhang San: Yes!

John Doe: ...So your son is a child prodigy?

Zhang San: I am also wondering. Since our family bought a computer and accessed the Internet, my son has done homework faster. Could it be that my son is a sleeping lion, amidst the roar of the Internet? The rant finally begins!

Li Si: Then get your son tested quickly? See if he is a sudden prodigy!

Zhang San: You have to tell me this! My son is not in third grade, so I found a set of fourth-grade math problems for him to do. I'll still invigilate the exam myself!

Li Si: What were the test results like?

Zhang San: My son took a whole day to complete the one-hour exam questions and handed in the exam!

Li Si: It doesn’t matter how long it takes, the key is to look at the results.

Zhang San: After the results came out, there were two ones and one zero.

John Doe: 101?

Zhang San: A zero on two horizontal lines.

Li Si: (gesturing with his hands) 0!! What the hell is going on?

Zhang San: I don’t know! I left the door ajar while my son was doing his homework that day.

John Doe: Are you peeking?

Zhang San: Guess what I saw?

Li Si: What did you see?

Zhang San: This kid is typing the homework I assigned him into the computer!

Li Si: What does your son want to do?

Zhang San: What are you doing! Isn't it obvious that he wants to post his homework online and let others do it for him?

John Doe: Ah!

Zhang San: (Angrily) At that time, I...I pushed the door open and went in, pointing at this kid. I was so angry that I couldn't say a word. How can this be unreasonable? How can it be unreasonable? He is simply...a hacker! hacker!

Li Si: Don’t scare the child.

Zhang San: I’m so angry! I'm anxious! I am filled with rage! I rushed over and raised my hand...

Li Si: Do you want to hit the child?

Zhang San: Before I started, my son said something first.

Li Si: What are you talking about?

Zhang San: A gentleman talks but never moves!

John Doe: Ah! Then wouldn't you be ambushed by this attack?

Zhang San: Yes! I missed this guy's ambush! I'm angry! I'm anxious! I am filled with rage! I looked up at the computer on the table. Without saying a word, I rushed over, picked it up and lifted it over my head (a gesture of lifting something and throwing it down)...

Li Si: Did you drop the computer?

Zhang San: (an affirmative gesture and expression) Yes! ! It fell on our Simmons.

Li Si: Hey!

Zhang San: At this time, my son said something again...

Li Si: (Imitating the child) Dad, what was wrong with me.

Zhang San: (Imitating a child) Dad, I was doing online education just now!

......

Li Si: Awesome! Your son’s online education is wonderful! ! It seems that the Internet has changed our lives quite a lot. Me too...hey...Zhang San, you know me quite well. I am a truly good person, but I am just thin-skinned and not very good at talking.

Zhang San: Especially when I see a girl, her face turns red and her lips quarrel.

Li Si: To tell you the truth, I have been pursuing a girl for a short time, just over three years.

Zhang San: Not including the five years of secret love.

John Doe: Finally on a sunny day, I want him to understand that the moon represents my heart.

Zhang San: Confess your love to him?

John Doe: No! Ask him to go online!

Zhang San: What are you doing online?

John Doe: Confess your love to her online!

Zhang San: This is not nonsense! Let me ask you, can you confess your feelings online?

Li Si: You can even get married online! How corny! Nowadays, when it comes to falling in love, who still holds hands by the riverside in the woods and walks along the road? This is completely an outdated old feudal style. What is popular now is online love and online confession. The two of them don't have to face each other, and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. They can say whatever they want, and they can say whatever they can't say. (Longing for) Especially, every word I say leaves a lot of room for imagination.

I feel it personally, so it’s good to express your feelings online! Perfect for a shy...little boy like me.

Zhang San: Are you still a little boy? !Are you blushing? (laughing) What was the result of the confession?

Li Si: Do you want to hear it?

Zhang San: Very interested!

Li Si: (proudly) That day! After a while of brows and eyebrows, I finally said a word.

Zhang San: What are you talking about?

John Doe: I love you, vixen.

Zhang San: Who is the vixen?

Li Si: My online name. My name is Damahou.

Zhang San: That vixen of yours must ask you - do you love me?

Li Si: My affectionate answer at that time - yes! In addition, the United States took action against Iraq.

Zhang San:——What do you want to do?

John Doe: - Surrender!

Zhang San: - Should you surrender or the United States surrender?

John Doe: -The United States and I surrender.

Zhang San:——Why?

John Doe: --because of justice, peace, and love.

Zhang San: ——I suddenly felt that you have changed so much. Yesterday you were a coward who didn’t understand anything. Today, you suddenly turned into a hypocrite who talks about peace, justice and love. It’s like A pet dog that comes home wagging its tail is getting cuter and cuter!

Li Si: - I suddenly feel that you are so pitiful. Just now you were a national treasure-level giant panda, and the people love you so much that it’s hard to say. It will be like Iraq is being bombarded by others, but what you are experiencing is not the bombs but the love Malatang!

Zhang San: Do you know how to understand me?

Li Si: It’s not too late for me to love you. I... want...

Zhang San: What? What? Choked?!

John Doe: No, the Internet cafe has a power outage!

......

Zhang San: Having said so much, it illustrates one point, we are now in an era of Internet.

Lee Si: The spirit of the Internet is freedom, equality, and enjoyment.

Zhang San: It is because of this that the Internet has become a colorful, amiable, and wonderful new world.

Li Si: In the past, those celebrities, stars, and big shots, who had the chance to face each other? It's fine now! We can meet them online - come on! Dude, sit down and chat!

Zhang San: Don’t tell me, I just met a celebrity on the Internet!

Li Si: Who is it?

Zhang San: United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan!

John Doe: Really? You are so lucky! Annan is the biggest official on our planet. My old father, who is over eighty years old, asked me a few days ago, Li Si, do you know who my father’s idol is?

Zhang San: Cecilia Cheung!

John Doe: Go! It's Annan!

Zhang San: At that time, after I found out it was Mr. Annan, I quickly said hello - hello, hello, hello.

John Doe: (Pricking his ears with his hands to listen) This is a foreign parrot!

Zhang San: But Mr. Annan said (foreigner’s stiff tone) - I’m sorry! My English is very stinky!

Li Si: It doesn’t matter if it smells bad or not! Please quickly ask Mr. Annan, how will the global green food market be next year?

Zhang San: What are you asking! Why are you so selfish! Just know how to take care of yourself!

Li Si: I am doing this for everyone!

Zhang San: Why! Who doesn’t know that your family buys stinky tofu? How am I like you! Dear Mr. Annan, did you know? I have always longed for the United Nations and the Security Council, and being able to work in the United Nations was my biggest childhood dream. This dream is still lingering in my heart. I would like to ask Mr. Annan, does the United Nations still need people to guard the gate?

John Doe: Are you going to the United Nations to see the gate? ! This ideal is too great.

Zhang San: What happened to the United Nations gate? I am going to serve people all over the world!

Li Si: I didn’t say anything! Look where you are going!

Zhang San: That’s nice to say, but who doesn’t know what you’re thinking!

Li Si: I was wrong. Isn’t it okay to be wrong?

Did Mr. Annan arrange a job for you?

Zhang San: While I was waiting, Mr. Annan finally sent a message. Well written! As expected of the Secretary-General of the United Nations, what a generous act!

Li Si: Send me a message?

Zhang San: Five billion people and five billion flowers. Five billion people have a unique home. How beautiful our home is! The green mountains are chasing the green water, the sun is kissing the white clouds, two birds are holding hands on the sea, and a red dragonfly is walking on the grass. Suddenly there was a burst of singing, and it turned out to be a group of little toads clamoring for ice cream. ah! ! But it’s up to all of us to make our home more beautiful. But Zhang San, wouldn’t it be embarrassing for you to use the leftover fish bones to feed your neighbor’s peonies? !

Li Si: Zhang San used the leftover fish bones to feed the neighbor’s peonies? !

Zhang San: ...How could Mr. Annan know about this trivial matter? !

Li Si: I also want to ask you, have you ever thrown fish bones around?

Zhang San: I didn’t... no... no one... it was dark when I threw it away that day, and no one saw it!

John Doe: No one saw it? Even the Secretary-General of the United Nations knows about it, but no one has seen it yet! You know what a bad impact you have had on the country and the people by throwing fish bones around. (Crying like) Even our Ah Huang feels ashamed for you.

Zhang San: You...don't be like this...the Secretary-General of the United Nations. Later I found out that this Annan turned out to be Chinese.

John Doe: Chinese?

Zhang San: And he still lives in our alley!

Li Si: Live in your alley? ha! Got fucked!

Zhang San: Can I be cheated on? Do I look like someone who is being ripped off? I went to the supermarket to buy something, and they gave me an extra cent. I immediately went to their manager, what are you doing? What are you doing? Why should you pay me an extra dime? I'm so bullied! Let me tell you - let alone a dime, even if you ask me for an extra two cents, I still won't refund it to you!

Li Si: Aren’t you just messing around!

Zhang San: The next day I was on the street and met a bad boy who pretended to be Annan on the Internet. I was not polite. I pointed at this boy and shouted at the top of my lungs: Hey! Listen, everyone, what is this guy saying to people on the Internet? He is the team leader of the first workshop, and he insists that he is the deputy director; he can’t even drive a bicycle, but people say that he and Yang Liwei drove the Shenzhou 5 together. "Also, he is recognized by everyone as a handsome guy. Even Andy Lau has to put on a mask when meeting him!"

Li Si: Do you want to lose it? !

Zhang San: Nothing is lost, this is the Internet age, busy, lively, true and false, false and true. But you must be careful. You can try online dating but don't be obsessed with it. (Point to John) Be careful when you encounter this number.

John Doe: Go! !