There is a kind of despair called emotional drowning.

1. What is "negative emotional drowning"

Harry Porterie's Dementor is a horrible existence, and no one sees his face in his hat pocket. When your face is facing him, it is your death, because he will suck your soul dry with his mouth.

Anyone who had contact with him and had a narrow escape described it this way: at that moment, you felt cold in your heart, all the happiness in your life disappeared and you didn't feel any hope.

There is no hope in life and no happy thoughts. What's the meaning of life? Therefore, even people who survive under the "kiss" of dementors are like walking dead, becoming unconscious and soulless bodies.

Although this is a fairy tale written for all teenagers and adults in the world, the feelings described in the book are so real.

As the old people often say, people must have a "head-on" when they are alive. No hope, no prospect, such as despair sinking deeper and deeper in the mire, no courage to continue.

People who can't float in the water are so desperate when the water doesn't pass through their mouths and noses. Because there is nowhere to focus, all struggles are ineffective; Because of calling for help, more cold water will be poured into your mouth, which will speed up the flooding. So, at that moment, no one knows how helpless and afraid I was, but I just disappeared under a water wave with my sinking body.

Scientists have done experiments, and the depth of a bath can drown a person. You said, just stand up. You just missed your ankle. How can you drown someone? This is a joke.

You talk like this because you are standing by the lake. Once again, look down at the lake in a "standing" posture.

You know, when water doesn't pass through the nose and mouth, once people panic and lose their judgment, they can't tell the objective situation around them. When subjective consciousness is submerged by one-sided consciousness, you have no idea where you are, how to save yourself and how to get out of trouble.

When a person is surrounded by negative emotions, one after another superimposed pressure strikes, and a simple sentence of "cheer up" can no longer arouse positive emotions. Just like a drowning person, struggling feebly in despair, a sense of fatigue rises from the bottom of my heart and looks at the world in a gray tone, as if there is nothing he can do and he has no intention to make any efforts. At this point, the person was overwhelmed by negative emotions.

2. Where does emotional drowning come from?

In a word, negative emotions are submerged, which comes from the accumulation of negative emotions.

Today's stream, a big "woman" did it once. Outside the classroom where the children are in class, the couple are chatting through books, which is warm and warm.

Suddenly, Mr. Xiaoxi accidentally turned over the child's schoolbag and said, "It's broken. What about the IPAD? " I remember I brought her something from my schoolbag. "This particularly serious face, facial features suddenly together, put on an ugly expression, began to rummage frantically, accompanied by all kinds of despair, disdain, anxiety sigh.

The stream is nearby, and I think hard, especially if I leave it at home, or if the children take it out and put it in the car and forget to put it back, or if the children show it to the teacher for fun in class ... All kinds of guesses and comforts have not made Mr. Wang Change's attitude like ants on hot bricks.

Teacher Wang immediately rushed into the classroom where the children attended class and asked if they had taken it. Get a negative answer and immediately rush to the parking lot to verify whether it is in the car; Still no, I can't wait any longer. I have to go home and look for it

Xiaoxi has been persuading the children to play for four or five years, and there is no important record. It is a big deal to take the opportunity to update one; Besides, my schoolbag is always with me, and I may have left it at home. Mr. Ke pointed to the charger in the bag and insisted on putting it in, without changing his face.

The plot behind is very simple. The child came out of class, thought it over carefully, and said that he left it on the sofa when he left. At that time, my father was in the porch urging him to go quickly, and there was no time to put it in his bag. This time, Mr. Wang just stretched his brow slightly and had to go home to check before he could rest assured.

On the way home, the tears of the stream were like broken beads, and the emotions broke out on a large scale, without considering the children.

In the eyes of others, Mr. Xiaoxi's reaction is a bit excessive. Families with a monthly income of 20 thousand won't make a fuss because of the loss of an electronic product; Xiaoxi's mood is a little too fragile. Since I haven't lost it, I'm not worried. Where can you be so wronged?

We must start from scratch. Mr. Xiaoxi is thrifty and afraid of losing and wasting, so he attaches great importance to property. The stream was careless and nervous since childhood. Therefore, no matter which couple's property is lost, Mr. Wang is a black face and makes a scene.

For example, Xiaoxi took a bus when she was pregnant, and her wallet and mobile phone were robbed. Mr. Wang was not worried about his wife's safety, but also blamed her for being careless and making a scene. The reason is that you have nothing to stand in front of me, but that thing is gone!

Small things are like buying popcorn at the cinema, and you are all thumbs on the ground. Mr. Wang will also use his nose instead of his eyes.

Xiaoxi calmly communicated with Mr. Wang many times, thinking that people are the most important. As long as people are fine, don't be angry about money and things.

Moreover, when Mr. Wang lost his valuables, Xiaoxi would not only criticize him, but also comfort him more gently and reassure him. Take the opportunity to influence your husband, don't worry about things outside your body, otherwise it will be a small loss of property and hurt family harmony, which is even more unworthy.

Xiaoxi has been married for more than ten years, and she feels that her subtle "help" should be effective.

However, just a week ago, Xiaoxi was shopping in a small supermarket downstairs, and her bank card was "touched away". A phone call reported the loss without losing a penny; But Mr. Wang's statement is another kind of "cold domestic violence"

Xiaoxi cried and said, "You said that if I really touched the thief's hand in his pocket at night, he would jump over the wall and hurt me ... Can you think about it, which is more important, the wife or the card?"

So at the moment when Mr. Wang just turned black, many unpleasantness in the past suddenly struck in the memory of Xiaoxi. Today, in the car on the way back, Xiaoxi really felt that her heart was hurting, her arm was numb, and a kind of tiredness came from her heart. He has no strength to discuss where to put things, so he shouldn't worry. I just feel that this man around me is like a stone that is not hot, which makes people cold to the heart.

Xiaoxi believes that Mr. Wang clearly knows that she is particularly concerned about his performance and attitude when he loses things; However, after ten years of marriage, there is still no change, and I am desperate than anything else. Xiaoxi only feels that more than ten years of tolerance and persuasion are like running water and meaningless.

No matter how many times you are tender as water, at that moment, you can't resist an expression of disgust, which has caused serious harm to the stream. At this point, it can probably be summarized as "a divorce impulse in a happy marriage".

As a result, the stream burst into tears, crying very, very badly, crying desperately, and could not be persuaded at all. It seems that the only way out is to go directly to the Civil Affairs Bureau for divorce.

3. Emotional drowning, how to prevent and get rid of it

Emotion depends on the situation and has the characteristics of temporality and dispersion, that is to say, most people's emotions may be fleeting and will not last for a long time.

However, don't underestimate the power of emotions. Positive and optimistic mood is like a rocket booster, which can help you perform better in your original ability, as we say, "People are happy when they are happy."

Negative emotions are like iron balls tied to the feet of drowning people, which makes people unable to struggle and sink deeper and deeper.

If there is a carpet in your bathroom, you will habitually lift your feet, even if you don't turn down the light, you will remember. Emotion is also so good to remember, similar situations appear again and again, and there are similar emotions every time.

However, when an emotion becomes a habit, its power is even more terrible. If an emotion is not handled well, it will stay in memory and be superimposed.

Frequent setbacks of the same kind, a negative emotion, will accumulate all the memories before each attack, just like an avalanche that is on the verge of exploding, and it will suddenly come out of control. This is why the reaction of the stream is particularly fierce.

A thousand miles of embankment, collapsed in the ant nest. Even if the flood is raging, the dam will be washed away from a weak point and the gap will be opened from a crack. The same is true of the accumulation of emotions.

In the family, whether it is a "hot war" such as criticism, contempt and disdain of one party, or a "cold war" that ignores each other, it may make one party feel extremely lonely, helpless, bored and painful from the bottom of my heart like the tide.

You see, most family conflicts can have hatred of killing father and mother, but in trivial matters, they breed "deep hatred"; At present, some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be seriously abused, but a look, a tone and a failure to understand each other's practices can lead to "war"

First, be kind to your partner, be kind to yourself, handle every negative emotion well, communicate and solve problems, and prevent the accumulation and superposition of negative emotions.

Second, when you are in a negative mood, I suggest you take a rest and learn some relaxation techniques to relax yourself.

Usually in your mind, search for some good memories about each other and put them aside. At this time, try to recall other positive features of something. I did this to imply that what I saw at this time was one-sided and narrow-minded.

This is the hardest thing to do, because when people feel attacked, insecure and anxious, it is difficult to find positive and optimistic ideas to help them get out of the emotional cage.

Therefore, the third point is particularly important. If people around you are in an "emotional drowning" state, don't use a "cold war" attitude to calm them down. Always being in the upper hand is victory. Your temporary "victory" may mean that the other person is psychologically moving away from you.

Taking the initiative to extend a small olive branch, a comforting gesture and a willingness to communicate can all be the key to solving the problem. The closeness of two people can lift the encirclement of first frost.

After crying, the aforementioned brook told Mr. Wang his feelings and reasons; Mr. Wang said that in the future, if you encounter something, you will not rashly engage in it, and try to care about the feelings of the flow: therefore, a warm hug is the best reconciliation.

What if Xiaoxi and Mr. Wang are unwilling to communicate? One side continues to complain that the other side is not considerate, and the other side resents that the other side has done too much. It is only a matter of time before the next war breaks out.

This knife cuts bread and fingers. Emotion is like water. If it is not well channeled, it will be out of control.