Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Xiao Ming's jokes go away.

Xiao Ming's jokes go away.

Xiaoming, get out.

The teacher calls Xiaoming outside the classroom.

Teacher: "Your homework is getting worse and worse. What's wrong? "

Xiao Ming: "Teacher, when I find out the reason, can I tell you this afternoon?"

Teacher: "All right!"

In the afternoon, the teacher called Xiao Ming outside the classroom again. Teacher: "Did you find the reason?"

Xiao Ming: "Yes, my grandfather said that homework is getting harder and harder, and he can't help it."

Teacher: "Get out!"

After the exam, the teacher lectured: "Students, how come some of them did well in the exam and some did badly."

Xiao Ming: "It's because the invigilator is different."

Teacher: "Get out!"

The political teacher spent a whole class talking about the relationship between money and life, assigning homework before class and thinking: "If you have money, can you change anything?"

Xiaoming snorted in the corner: "If I had money, I wouldn't have to listen to your nonsense here."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "When you can't find anyone, please prove your anger in one sentence."

Xiao Ming: "Bastard, where the hell are you?"

Teacher: "Pay attention to quality."

Xiaoming: "Tortoise, where are you?"

Teacher: "Get out ..."

Teacher: "Please explain the environmental factors and genetic factors!" " "

Xiao Ming: "Being like a father is a genetic factor, and being like a neighbor is an environmental factor!" " "

Teacher: "As usual ..."

Xiaoming stood up silently. ...

The teacher asked Xiaoming, Shuang Shuang and Li Hua standing outside the classroom, "What are you three doing in class? Tell me honestly. "

Xiao Ming: "Pointing to the mountains and inspiring words, dung gets Wan Huhou."

Teacher: "Speak human words."

Xiao Ming: "Fight the landlord."

Teacher: "Stand outside for a day."

Xiaoming: "Teacher, I like you."

Teacher: "I don't like children."

Xiao Ming: "I don't like children either. We can not have children. "

Teacher: "Get out! Get out! "

In math class, the teacher asked a question: "There are eleven students in our class. Now the teacher has brought ten apples. How can we divide it equally? "

Xiaohong: "Xiao Ming, get out!" " "

Teacher: "Hello, classmate!"

Student: "Happy Teacher's Day, teacher! "

Teacher: "Thank you, students. What about Xiao Ming? "

Xiao Qiang: "Xiaoming said that you have a holiday today, and he won't be angry with you. He went out first."

Teacher: "Xiaoming is actually a sensible child. Go and invite him in. "

Xiao Qiang: "I guess he has arrived home."

In the classroom, Xiao Ming leaned his head against the chair and didn't listen to the class.

The teacher asked with concern, "Are you sick again?"

Xiao Ming said without looking up, "Yes, I have a headache."

The teacher said, "Do you have a doctor's certificate? Take it out and go home to rest! "

Xiao Ming said, "It is because the doctor doesn't open the certificate that I have a headache."

Teacher: "Get out ..."

Physical education class wanted to do leapfrog. The teacher asked, "Who has been injured before? You don't have to do it. "

Xiaohong said, "My foot is broken."

Xiao Qiang said, "I'm in wrist fracture."

Xiaoming: "My umbilical cord is broken."

Xiaoming didn't roll, but skipped class.

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, what should you do when you grow up and fall in love?"

Xiao Ming: "I will honestly go back to my wife when I am lovelorn."

Teacher: "Get out ..."

Teacher: "Please talk about your wishes."

Xiaoming: "Go to Lan Xiang to learn excavators."

Teacher: "Give me a reason."

Xiaoming: "Dig your ancestral grave."

Teacher: "Go away .........."

In class, the teacher is talking about Chapter 7. Xiao Ming casually opened the book and bowed his head to play with his mobile phone. The teacher found out.

The teacher asked him, "How can you turn the book to Chapter 8 when you talk about Chapter 7?"

Xiao Ming replied faintly: "I'll wait for you in front!" " "

The answer is very logical. Why did the teacher let Xiao Ming go out? . .

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, answer where the school is!" " "

Xiao Ming: "The school is where you sign in for five consecutive days and get your homework!" " "

Teacher: "Get out!"

Xiaoming: "Teacher, I want to surf the Internet."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Xiaoming ran out of the classroom at lightning speed.

Teacher: "Damn it, it's easier said than done. Come back!" " "

Teacher: "How long does it take to steam one steamed bun and three steamed buns a minute?"

Xiao Ming: "Nine minutes?"

Teacher: "You are so stupid! Are steamed buns steamed one by one? ! "

Xiao Ming expressed dissatisfaction: "Then let me ask you, how about eating one steamed bun a minute and ten steamed buns?"

Teacher: "Ten minutes! You think I'm as stupid as you! "

Xiao Ming: "Eat ten steamed buns in ten minutes! You are a fool! "

Teacher: ". . . Get out! "

Xiao Ming: "Teacher, I will never make you angry again."

Teacher: "What a good boy. Sit down and listen to the class. Let's turn to 16. We will talk about alpacas in this class. "

Xiao Ming: "Hey, mud horse."

Teacher: "Keep getting out ..."

Teacher: "If the headmaster and I fall into the water, who will you save first?"

Xiao Ming: "It is rare to have this opportunity. Of course I jumped down and swam around in front of you. "

Teacher: "Get out!"

The teacher asked Xiaoming, "What would you do if a robber tried to stab me?"

Xiao Ming: "Let's see if he was stabbed."

Teacher: "Did you miss it?"

Xiao Ming: "Give him a bottle of pulse."

Teacher: "Why?"

Xiao Ming: "I'm not in the state at the critical time. Come back soon."

Teacher: "What about the stab wound?"

Xiao Ming: "Show off."

Teacher: "What do you mean?"

Xiao Ming: "I can't stop at all!"

Teacher: "roll as far as you can!" " "

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, do you know why you want to take geography class?"

Xiao Ming: "Teacher, why is there so little physical education class and so much homework?"

Teacher: "..."

Xiao Wang: "Why does a class last 45 minutes, but the rest time after class is only 15 minutes?"

Teacher: "Please answer the question!"

Xiaoming: "Because there is no justice."

Teacher: "Go to the Pacific Ocean! ! ! "

Teacher: "If you pursue a China girl, what do you invite her to eat?"

Xiao Li: "Mala Tang."

Teacher: "What about Korean girls?"

Xiao Wang: "Kimchi."

Teacher: "What about Japanese girls?"

Xiaoming: "Mosaic."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, do you have any ideal for study?"

Xiao Ming: "Yes."

Teacher: "What ideal?"

Xiaoming: "Drive a BMW ... get a minimum living allowance."

Teacher: "..."

Teacher: "Please make sentences with your heart."

Xiao Ming rushed to answer: "Today, I am deeply in love, and it is free all day. Hurry up and grab the plane! "

Teacher: "Go out ..."

Teacher: 108 The hero went to Liangshan, why did he rank second?

Xiaoming: Don't rank first. Do you want to go together? Liangshan can't stand it! !

Teacher: Get out! !

English teacher: "Students, what do you think is the best English word to remember?"

Xiaoming: "wifi."

English teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Please use a poem to express the meaning of not working hard when you are young and regretting when you are old?"

Xiao Ming: "If young women don't work hard, the second child will be sad."

Teacher: ". . . Get out. . . "

It was a little hot in the classroom, so the teacher took off his coat during the lecture. Just as the teacher got off the bus halfway, Xiaoming in the back row suddenly shouted "Take off! Grandpa has plenty of money! "

The teacher was furious and shouted, "get out."

In geometry class, the math teacher asked, "What is line and surface?"

Xiao Ming: "stuffing and noodles?" Jiaozi. "

Teacher: "Get out!"

Chinese teacher: "Tell me the meaning of the word chinese odyssey."

Xiao Ming: "The whole world is born, and there is no one like you without parents. Unique in the world, that is, my parents died when I was born. "

Teacher: "Get out!"

At the theme class meeting, the teacher said, "Xiao Ming, what is your dream?"

Xiao Ming: "Teacher, I hope you will never let me out again."

Teacher: "I won't do it again."

Xiao Ming: "It's very kind of you, teacher! I will never spit in your cup again. "

Xiaoming was carried out. ...

The bell rang and the teacher said, "Finally, I have one more thing to say ..."

Xiao Ming: "Twisted melons are not sweet."

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, you stay and the others are dismissed!" " "

Teacher: "I'm not allowed to play with my mobile phone in class. People who really don't want to listen can sleep! " "

Xiao Ming: "But teacher, I want to play with my mobile phone before going to bed ..."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, what job do you want to find in the future?"

Xiao Ming: "More money and less things are close to home!" " "

Teacher: "What kind of job is that?"

Xiao Ming: "Put a bowl at the entrance of the community, with a monthly income of over 10,000!"

Teacher: "get out."

Teacher: "In Chinese characters, where there are three water points, there must be water, such as rivers, lakes and seas ..."

Xiaoming: "Desert."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Xiao Ming: "I didn't see water when I rolled!" " "

Teacher: "Get out!"

The teacher told Xiaoming to get up in class to answer questions, trying to exercise his courage.

Xiao Ming said weakly, "Teacher, I ... I won't ..."

Teacher: "Can't you be a man?"

Xiaoming is very thoughtful. ...

Finally, Xiao Ming patted the table angrily and shouted, "I don't want it!" " "

Teacher: "Get out!"

The teacher found Xiaoming always talking in class and said angrily, "Xiaoming, if you are dishonest, I will tell your father."

Xiao Ming said calmly, "Teacher, I am not satisfied with you either, but I have never told your father."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, what do you think of cheating in the exam?"

Xiao Ming: "Just like your wife is pregnant with someone else's child, it is technically successful, but you don't advocate this practice."

Teacher: "What you said is very reasonable, but get out at once!" " "

Xiao Ming: "Don't all women like to be praised?"

Xiaohong: "Yes."

Xiao Ming: "The teacher wears a short skirt to class today. I praised the teacher for saying that your underwear is really beautiful, and the teacher told me to roll ... "

Teacher: "Does that classmate describe a person as ugly in four words?"

Xiaohong: "Is it ugly?"

Teacher: "No,no."

Xiao Ming: "A little like you."

Teacher: "Go to hell."

Xiao Ming: "The teacher is pregnant for two months, and she is more and more like Shu Qi."

Teacher: "Hee hee hee, I am not as beautiful as her!" " "

Xiao Ming: "I said my mouth."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Why are you late again!" " "

Xiao Ming: "You should praise me this time! I saw an old woman crossing the street today, so I put down my schoolbag and carried her across the street ... and then I looked at my watch! I found that I was going to be late, so I ran to school at once ... "

Grandma is behind: "I can prove it ... put me down quickly!" " "

Xiao Ming: "I want to ask for leave."

Teacher: "The reason."

Xiaoming: "I'm going to have an operation this afternoon."

Teacher: "What operation?"

Xiao Ming: "The useless subsidiary tissues of the human body are removed in groups."

Teacher: "Speak human words."

Xiao Ming: "haircut."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Students, the PE teacher is ill and can't come to class today, so PE is changed to math."

Xiao Ming: "Teacher, what does a PE teacher look like? Why haven't we seen him? "

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Students, what do you mean by hate when you use less books?"

Xiaoming: "A schoolbag is only 5 yuan, and a midnight snack is not enough."

Teacher: "Get out ..."

Teacher: "Xiaoming and Xiaohong, tell me about your feelings about the university."

Xiaohong: "College life can be great."

Xiao Ming: "College students can work well."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Today, let's exchange roles. I will sit down and be a student. Who wants to teach? "

Xiao Ming: "I do, teacher."

Teacher: "Well done, Xiaoming."

After swapping places ...

Xiaoming pointed to the teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Why?"

Xiao Ming: "Labor and capital have long seen you unhappy, get out!" "

In physics class, the female teacher complained that stockings kept falling off.

Xiao Ming couldn't help it: "stockings are easy to fall off, mainly because the tension is too large, resulting in plastic deformation ~ in layman's terms: thick legs!" "

The teacher was about to speak when Xiao Ming said consciously, "I'm going out ..."

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, the teacher always tells you to get out." You don't hate teachers! " "

Xiao Ming: "Teacher, I don't hate you at all. I often make you angry, but it's my fault. "

Teacher: "As long as you don't hate me, you can go away!" " "

Xiao Ming: "..."

Teacher: "Students, Wei Zifu is actually a very famous historical figure. She gave birth to a daughter. Does anyone know her name? "

Xiao Ming: "I know, teacher. Can I not go out? "

Teacher: "If you are right, you don't have to go out."

Xiao Ming: "Sanitary napkins."

Teacher: "Get out ..."

Teacher: "Please make sentences by daydreaming, the shorter the better."

Xiao Ming: "God? Dream on! "

Teacher: "Get out!"

Xiaoming: "Teacher, let me ask you a question."

Teacher: "Get out!"

Xiao Ming: "I really ask a question! See clearly, it is a math problem! "

Teacher: "Get out!"

Xiaoming: "Nowadays, female teachers really have no professional ethics!" Xiaoming said and walked out of the ladies' room!

Teacher: "108 The hero went to Liangshan, why did he rank second?"

Xiao Ming: "Don't line up together?" ? Liangshan can't stand it! ! "

Teacher: "Get out! ! "

In Chinese class, the teacher said, "Zhuge Liang knows astronomy, geography, anecdotes and gossip, and has read countless books."

Xiao Ming: "Teacher, there is a book he hasn't read!" " "

Teacher: "Oh, what book do you think?"

Xiaoming: "Romance of the Three Kingdoms!"

Teacher: "You have ten sweets, I ate five, how many are left?"

Xiao Ming: "Five."

Teacher: "How about I take two more?"

Xiao Ming: "try again!" "

Teacher: "Get out! ! "

Teacher: "Please be quiet. Let's begin our class. Students, who can imitate the sound of an animal? "

Xiao Ming: "Please be quiet. Let's start our class. "

Teacher: "Get out!"

Teacher: "Xiao Ming, get out."

Xiaoming: "Why, I didn't do anything."

Teacher: "because I want to ask questions!" " "