Humorous jokes about New Year's Day

Super! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! The zodiac is a super cute joke. Aries mother often tells sheep: "you can't swing in a skirt;" Otherwise the little boy will see the underwear inside! " One day, Yangyang said happily to his mother, "Today I played on the swing with Xiaoming, and I won!" "Mother said angrily," didn't I tell you? Don't put on a skirt! " Yangyang said proudly, "But I'm so smart! I took off my underwear so that he couldn't see my underwear! " (Aries, brave and straightforward, dare to do and dare to be) Taurus melon vendor: "Come and eat watermelon, no charge if it is not sweet! ""Hungry Niu Niu: "Wow! Great, boss, have a sweet one! Gemini's mother told Shuangshuang to get up: "Get up quickly! The rooster has crowed several times! " Both of them said, "What does a cock crow have to do with me? I am not a hen! " On the bus of Cancer, crab crab said, "I want to sleep with my mother tonight!" Mother asked, "Did you sleep with your mother when you married your daughter-in-law?" Crab crab said without thinking, "Hmm!" Mom asked again, "What about your daughter-in-law?" Crab crab thought for a long time and said, "It's very simple. Let her sleep with her father!" Mom: "! @ # $% ︿&* (...-"Look at Dad, there are already tears in his eyes! (Oedipus complex with cancer) Leo lion goes to grandma's birthday party. When it was time to eat Shoubao, the lion asked, "Why do we eat Shoubao like a donkey?" They listened to the face big change. Then the lion opened the birthday bag, looked at the bean paste inside and said, "Grandma, look! There is also shit in it! " Everyone fainted, vomited and vomited. Virgo is curious about the navel everywhere, so she asks her father for advice. Dad simply explained the reason why the umbilical cord connects the fetus and the mother, saying, "After the baby left the mother, the doctor cut off the umbilical cord and tied it in a knot, which later became the navel." Everywhere: "Why doesn't the doctor tie a bow?" Libra's father said to Tian Tian, "Don't go to school today. Last night ... your mother gave birth to two brothers for you. Just tell the teacher. " Every day I answer: "Dad, I only said I gave birth to one; The other one, I want to stay until next week when I don't want to go to school! " (Smart, weigh the pros and cons) I didn't expect Scorpio to be bitten by mosquitoes just after sleeping. He got up to catch mosquitoes, but he couldn't get out. No way, he pointed to the mosquito and said, "well, I'll go out if you don't go out!" " With that, he left the room, slammed the door and said proudly, "Hum! If I don't come in tonight, you'll starve to death! "Sagittarius shoots:" Dad, why do you have so much white hair? "Dad:" Because you are naughty, Dad has a lot of white hair. "Shooting: ... (in doubt) Shooting:" Then why are grandfathers all white-haired? "dad:! @ # $% ︿&* (... (Sagittarius who likes thinking) Capricorn One day, Jiejie went shopping with her mother; Walking on the road, it suddenly began to rain. Mother took Jie Jie's little hand and said, "It's raining, run!" ""Jie Jie asked slowly, "Then it won't rain ahead!" ? (Capricorn, who understands reality and is too lazy to change) Aquarius asks his mother, "How do you call Mr. Jiang an ancestor?" Mother said, "Because' ancestor' is the name of the deceased." Bottle said, "Would the deceased grandmother like to be called" fresh milk "? "Pisces dad told fish that they often went hungry when they were young. Fish and fish had tears in their eyes after listening, and asked sympathetically, "Oh, Dad, did you come to our house because you didn't have food?" (Pisces, compassionate, regardless of the situation, supplemented the answer.

Devil: God, can I be reincarnated? God: Yes. Demon: I don't want to be a demon anymore. I want to be as white as an angel and have wings, but I still want to