Admit it! Sometimes, their so-called care and comfort just add salt to your wound!

When you are in pain, do you feel more "comforted" but more sad? Your pain is just a joke of others. The news that Xiaowen broke up with her boyfriend of three years a week ago spread all over the circle of friends and family. I wanted to be quiet at home for a few days to restore my mood. I didn't come to ask her face to face, but I sighed on the phone. I left a message, "I told you not to listen to me and refused to introduce my colleague's son to you." Now people are married and have children! " ",by the way:" girls still have to obey, the standard is not that high! It seems that all "life wisdom" should be taught to her. There are even people you don't know at ordinary times. When they meet in the street, they should pretend to be Xiaowen's sad tone and ask, "How did you break up?" Oh, that's unfortunate "It seems that I really feel sorry for her, but I have an expectant expression on my face waiting to hear the story, and then I take other people's pain as a joke and tell it. How many people ask about other people's pain in the name of concern, but actually just listen to a joke to satisfy their gossip psychology and curiosity? They never really thought about the parties from the bottom of their hearts. They just watched a lively event from the perspective of a bystander, but they continued to stab the injured heart after the lively event. If you are so gloating, please leave me alone. Your pain is just an excuse for others to show off. There is another kind of person who, as soon as he heard that your life was bad and something happened, came to say hello and said, "How did you fail in the exam? "Even my daughter got 600 points." It doesn't matter, you will find a job. For example, my son works in XX state-owned enterprise and has bought a house. ""Don't be angry with my husband. Our mouth is not very annoying. Finally bought flowers to make me apologize. When I said this, I raised my eyebrows and stared at my eyes, and my mouth couldn't help but rise, revealing the meaning of showing off when I stood and spoke. I'm sorry, are you here to comfort me or show off your skills? I'm happy for you that everything goes well with you, but you don't have to base your happiness on my pain, do you? Behind this kind of worry is actually that the other party intends to gain superiority through temptation and comparison. Those who want to experience their own happiness from the pain of others, please stay away from me. Of course, there are people who really care about you, but they backfire because they use the wrong method, making each other even more uncomfortable without knowing it. Care and comfort also need to pay attention to methods. First consider the relationship between the two. The closeness of your relationship with him determines what you should do, what you should ask for and what you should do for him. If you are a close friend, you can talk to him deeply, understand the cause of the matter, and then help him find a way. But if it's just a nodding acquaintance, too much interference will cause the other person's disgust and discomfort, and think you are too abrupt and rude. Therefore, everything we do should be measured by the relationship between the two sides, control the intensity and find the right distance. Learn to respect and understand. Once many people know that their friends have encountered setbacks, they can't help but immediately participate in their own way, thinking that they are spreading love, but completely ignoring the feelings of the parties. It's like seeing a beautiful girl fall on the road and get up embarrassed. Instead of asking if she is okay, it is better to pretend not to see it and go directly to save face for the girl. They need privacy, respect and consideration more than comfort. Sometimes, the client is trying to forget the pain, but you keep mentioning the scar in front of him. Isn't that adding fuel to the fire Just silently accompany him. People outside the whirlpool, no matter how empathetic, still can't fully understand the feelings of people in the whirlpool. No matter how you say it, it is also pale and powerless. Instead of struggling with how to relieve the pain every day, it is better to say nothing, just stay with him silently, accompany him to eat, chat, walk and watch movies, support him and give him strength. With the passage of time, he will gradually feel this comfortable warmth and care, feel the beauty of life, and then take the initiative to get out of the shadows step by step. Sometimes, we don't know how to deal with the pain and misfortune of others. Sometimes, our self-righteous concern is actually just to gain a sense of moral superiority. Sometimes, others' so-called care and comfort just add salt to your wound. Please don't bother me when I am sad! Do you like this article? Share it with other friends!