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A cold joke

Cold jokes (selected)

Suitable for watching when you are tired! The following is what I edited for you to read.

1. The boy is really crazy, and his breath is bigger than beriberi.

2. There is a gap between narcissism and self-confidence.

3. Although I don't like seafood, mermaids can still accept it.

4, your life is too light, take me as salt.

5. You can't kick the ball well on the field, but you have become an expert in kicking the ball in your life.

6. Why did I send you a message because I didn't want to see you? Why I don't want to see you, because I dare not look at your face; Why can't I look at your face? Because I just threw up yesterday.

7. Seeing the full face of the moon, I finally know what it means. The moon represents my heart

8. I've seen those who grow old together, but I've never seen those who are as loving as ever.

9. Please, don't lose weight, and don't leave me. Don't you know, I never thought you were fat, and even prayed that the fatter you were, the better. I like the way you look fat, no, it's love, love from the heart. However, what happened to you recently? Why have you lost weight? Wallet, wake up!

1. Ask who is the most open-minded in the world, and I will do my part.

11, wearing dirty clothes can be a tainted witness; You can do it in wooden slippers? Witness? Witness?

12. One day, a man and a woman cheated on each other, only to find that the woman's husband came back. The cheating man ran away in a hurry and jumped downstairs without wearing clothes or trousers. . . . . . .

when he stood up from the crowd in a daze, he found that many people were watching him. He had a brainwave and said, So this is the earth ~ ~ ~ ~?

13. A man and a woman are in love. The man asked the woman one day:? Am I really your first boyfriend?

the woman replied:? Of course, you are my first boyfriend. Why do you men love to ask this question?

14. A man, forced by his parents to bring his girlfriend home, had no choice but to find a photo from the computer, print it out and bring it back to his hometown.

lied to his father. Dad, this is my girlfriend. She is busy at work, so I'll take her home next year. ?

Dad threw it in the past with a slap in the face and said angrily:? Are you still fooling me here? Isn't this Cang-Jing-Kong?

15. Female employees of Motorola are called witches;

Merrill Lynch is called Beauty;

ICBC is called maid-in-waiting;

Minsheng Bank is called a commoner;

The female netizen of the cat-puff hodgepodge becomes a catwoman;

The female netizen on the topic of Goojje is called Gu Nv, and the female employee of China Construction Bank said that the pear is very big, but she smiled and said nothing after seeing Jinan Commercial Bank.

After seeing Shijiazhuang Commercial Bank, the female employees of Jishang expressed emotional stability. . .

16. Two designers are chatting

A: My son doesn't study all day, but only plays. Every day at noon, he comes to my place to fool around with the models.

b: my son is even worse! He never does the work you ask him to do, and he comes to my place every noon to fool around with models.

a: it's just like my son. what's more outrageous?

b: you forgot, I work in men's wear here!

17. Mood keyboard: Press F5 when you are negative to refresh your attitude; When you are sad, please press the Tab key to skip the sadness; When you are upset, please press the Shift key to change your mood; Please press Enter when you are happy, and enter a happy time!

18. Symbolic life: experience is comma, frustration is pause, love is bullet, happiness is book title, study is colon, graduation is semicolon, work is question mark, career is exclamation point, growth is dash, and memory is ellipsis.

19. A cow is called a successful person when he does a cow thing, a loser when he has done a vulgar thing all his life, a moralist when he has talked about it all his life, and a martyr when he does a cow thing every day. An ordinary person who has done ordinary things all his life is called all sentient beings, an ordinary person who has done a cow thing is called a savage hero, and an ordinary person who has done cow things every day is called a saint.

2. Baiyun never promised to stay or stay in the sky, but accompanied it day and night; Stars never promise light to the night sky, but try to twinkle; Friends never talk to each other about their thoughts, but they are always concerned.

21. Where is the heart, there is treasure, where is the ambition, there is time, where is love, there is touch, and where is the dream, there is the future.

22. Smart people go to school, while sophisticated people go to stock market. The rich spend money on comfort, and the adventurous gamble. Ordinary people borrow money to buy houses, the poor care about oil, salt and vinegar first, and honest people are confused when they are fashionable.

how many heroes are busy in vain when daydreaming about mountains and rivers. I've been busy chasing the wind and catching shadows all my life, but who knows the way home in the end. If you learn from it carefully, you will be confused.

23. One room and one living room, one dish and one soup for one person to eat, one pillow for one person to sleep, one person to go and one person to wash, one person to be happy and one person to worry, one person to be tired when working, one person to take care of everything, one person to look at every shadow, one person to spend every salary, and one person to be single-minded.

24. On the surface, there is a lack of money, but in essence, there is a lack of ambition, lack of ideas in the head, lack of understanding of opportunities, lack of courage in the bones, lack of action in changing ideas, lack of knowledge in the stomach, lack of perseverance in the career, and lack of courage in the heart.