Classic lines of "Everyday Up"

Everyday Up is a large entertainment talk show created by Hunan Satellite TV, which premiered on August 4th, 2008. The host lineup of the program consists of five daily brothers: Wang Han, Ou Di, Qian Feng, Tanas (Xiao Wu) and Ham. The program adopts the concept of the first idol male host group in China. The atmosphere of the program is cheerful, relaxed and humorous, which has won high ratings and won unanimous praise from the audience.

Classic lines of "Everyday Up"

1. A cake got lost in the forest. Who encouraged him to go out of the forest?

Answer: pig. Because of chocolate cake.

2. Qian Feng: Why is the penguin's belly white?

Everyone is at a loss.

Qian Feng: Because penguins have short hands, they can only touch the front when taking a shower (while talking, demonstrating and laughing).

There are five people walking side by side in the street. Suddenly a typhoon came and knocked down a billboard, but only three people were killed. Why? Because it was McDonald's (? m？ )

Qian Feng: Do you know the name of the tiger?

Ou Di: Tiger.

Qian Feng: Wrong! !

Everybody: What?

Qian Feng: Dandan!

Everyone:

Qian Feng: Because? Is this tiger Danny? (eyeing)

5. The joke is that astronauts use adult diapers. Qian Feng quickly responded:? Adult diapers, make personal names. ? Wang Han said coldly that they were not interested in knowing the answer, so they ignored him. However, Ou Di later said? Dude, I'm sorry. I want to know Qian Feng's answer. ?

Qian Feng immediately stood up excitedly and proudly. Adult diapers, Bao adults! !

6. A bird was shot several times. Why are you still flying?

Answer: Because it is strong.

7. It is still a bird. It's been filmed several times. Why are you still flying?

Answer: Because the response is slow.

8. There are 800 Spartan. Why are there only 300 left in the end?

Answer: Because Wu Bai went to sing.

9. What are cloth and paper afraid of?

Answer: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

10, a pig was bored and left. What did it become when it went to England?

Answer: pig,

1 1. The number you dialed cannot be connected. Why?

Answer: Because Ningbo (you dialed) is far from Beijing.

12, there is a man climbing a rock. When he was about to climb to the top of the mountain, a wolf tried to burn the rope with a burning candle. The man said a word and the wolf blew out the candle. What did he say?

Answer: Happy birthday!

13, Nash is fast, why?

Answer: Because it's too late, then (Nash) will be soon.

14 or the number 1 10, which is the brightest?

Answer: 1, 3, because of the twinkling stars.

15. If there is a car with a prince and a princess, whose car is it?

Answer: Really? What if? Yes

16, which of the 26 letters is the coolest?

Answer: C, because Lucy (C) wears pants.

17, 26 lETters, et is gone, how many letters are left?

Answer: 2 1, because ET took a UFO.

18, Qian Feng said: There is a little rabbit, which walks, jumps, left foot and right foot. Why?

Answer: Because she likes it.

19, there is an eggplant. It walked in the street and sneezed three times. Then he said, "Where did you take pictures of graduation photo?" .

20. One day, a man went fishing and caught a squid. Squid said: Please leave me alone. ?

The man said:? Then I will test you a few questions, and if you answer them, I will let you go. ?

Squid said:? All right, all right, you take the exam. ? As a result, the man baked it.

2 1. A match is walking on the road. It felt itchy, scratched its hair and caught fire.

22. Customer:? Why doesn't the wine you sell smell of alcohol?

The waiter took a smell and said, Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot to mix your wine. ?

23. How much does a star weigh?

8 grams, because the star is 8 grams (Starbucks)

24. There is a steamed stuffed bun. When he is hungry, he eats himself.

25. A polar bear stayed alone on the ice in a daze. When he was really bored, he began to pull out his hair. There was one left in the last two, and he suddenly shouted, it's so cold! !

26. One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father: Dad, am I a stupid child? Dad said: silly child, how can you be a silly child (this is cold enough,,,)

27. There is a polar bear playing with a penguin. Penguins pull out his hair one by one. After pulling it out, he said to the polar bear. So cold?

Hearing this, the polar bear pulled off his own hair one by one and turned to the penguin and said, It's really cold! ?

(It's very cold)

A long time ago, a bird passed a cornfield every day, but unfortunately, one day there was a fire in that cornfield.

The corn has turned into popcorn, and the bird flew over and thought it was snowing, so cold?

29. Once upon a time, Tomato A and Tomato B went shopping together.

Suddenly a truck rushed out.

Squeeze the tomato nails through.

Tomato b laughs at tomato a.

[Ha ha ha ketchup]

30. One day, the little penguin asked his grandmother. Grandma, am I a penguin? Yes, of course you are a penguin. ?

The little penguin asks his father again. Dad, dad, am I a penguin? Yes, you are a penguin. Why?

? But, but why do I feel so cold?

3 1, Ou Di's joke:

One day, Xiao Qiang came home crying and said, Mom, mom, everyone at school says my head is a kite. ?

Then mother said:? How can it be? Won't it? Come on, run and see it with me. ? (Laughter)

3 1, from koji: There is a bird, which flew from the sun to the earth in one day; It took two days to fly from the earth to the sun.

Why?

Because flying towards the sun, one wing blocks the sun, and only one wing can fly, which takes two days.

32. A person looks like a sweet potato and falls down while walking.

There is a man who looks like an airplane. He walks and flies.

There is a man who looks like chocolate and is eaten when he walks.

There is a person who looks like a light bulb and lights up when he walks.

There was a man named Xiaohua who was picked while walking.

There was a man named Coke who was drunk when he walked.

There was a man named Cai Xiao who was abandoned all night and spoiled.

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks.

33. Xiaohong asked: Do you use your right hand or your left hand to make coffee?

Xiaomei said: right hand

Xiaohong said: Oh, you are awesome. You are not afraid of scalding, just like I use a spoon.

34. In the first phase of the college entrance examination star class, two girls were admitted to Fudan Mathematics Department, but they all said that their dream was to make a movie.

Wang Han: Sorry, Fudan teachers. Our children in Hunan are like this. They took the math exam, but their dream is to make a movie.

Qian Feng: Now it's a digital movie (cold).

35. A group of young scientists once came. A Beijinger said that there were five poisons in his house, and spiders were weaving webs by the bed. Then Qian Feng said:? That's one good thing. There are no mosquitoes?

A cold wind blew, and Wang Han and Ou Di immediately dodged and said, Come, I'll interview you alone.

Qian Feng walked up to the little scientist and asked coldly, Are there any mosquitoes in your house?

36. The little snake asked Brother Big Snake in a panic? Brother, do we have poison?

The snake said, why do you ask?

The little snake said, I accidentally bit my tongue just now. ?

37. A patient came to see a psychiatrist.

Patient: I always thought I was a bird.

Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start?

Patient: Because I am a bird.

38. A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears?

The patient replied, then I can't hear you.

The doctor listened: mm-hmm. This is normal.

The doctor asked again, if I cut off your other ear again. What will happen to you?

The patient replied, then I won't watch it.

The doctor began to get nervous: how could it not be seen?

The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off.

39. There are two mental patients. Escape from the hospital.

Two people run and run. Climb a tree.

One of them jumped from the tree.

Go on, go on.

Then he looked up and said to the man above, hey, why don't you come down?

The man above answered him: no, I'm not familiar with it yet.

40. There is an old lady in a mental hospital.

Wear black clothes every day. Take a black umbrella.

Squatting in front of a mental hospital.

The doctor thought: treat her. You must start by getting to know her.

So doctors also wear black clothes. Take a black umbrella. Squat over there with her.

The two men were silent for a month.

The old lady finally spoke to the doctor:

Are you a mushroom, too?

4 1, there is a mental derangement. I don't know where to get a pistol. He is walking in a small black alley. Suddenly, I met a young man. Without saying anything, the psychopath pressed him to the ground and pointed a gun at his head. Q, what is one plus one? The young man was frightened and pondered for a long time. Answer, equal to two. The psychopath killed him without hesitation. Then I pulled the gun in my arms and said coldly, do you know too much?

42. A boy said his nickname was Jolin, and everyone began to think about why.

Wang Han: Is it because vegetables are soaked like jolin that they grow taller?

Qian Feng: I see. Because he is1.90m, he is called jolin.

As soon as the words were finished, it was like a cold wind blowing, and the boys kept nodding wildly (dude, you know me)

43. A child came to a toy store with a fake bill and wanted to buy a toy plane. The man said:? Children, your money is not real. ? The child replied:? Is your plane real?

44. An American, a Japanese and an China are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, I'm in a good mood today, and I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board. ? The American was the first to be hit by the board. He said:? Before touching the board, put 1 cushion on my ass. ? Mats, boards rained down; 70 boards used to be good. After 70 boards, the cushion was smashed, and then the board was beaten with blood, and the United States kept going. When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. 1、2、3? /kloc-after 0/00, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama. China people slowly get down and say slowly:? Come on, give me the Japanese mat. ?

45. son:? Dad, are you free on Friday afternoon?

Dad:? What is this?

Son:? The school is going to hold a mini-parent forum! ?

Dad:? What is a micro-parent forum?

Son:? That is, only the class teacher, you and me! ?

46. A man was walking on the road when his feet suddenly felt pain.

Looking down, a lemon rotted at his feet.